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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (31 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-19 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-19 Pub. Date: 2016-06-19
Image Number: 144283
Caption: Hello, you've reached Dubble Cross Health Insurance. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? Hi, Ryan. I just got a bill form you for $850. It says it's for "professional services." But I'm not with Dubble Cross. I have Czar Health Insurance. That's right, but it says here you used the emergency room the same week you switched from us to Czar. So when they billed your visit to us, you weren't actually covered by us. So you have to pay us back. What're you taking about? I used the emergency room on the last day of December, and I'd already paid you my dues for December, so I was covered! Our billing cycle ends the day before the last day of the month, sir. Since when, Ryan?! Since we realized people wouldn't know that.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-13 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-13 Pub. Date: 2014-05-13
Image Number: 111230
Caption: Erebody outraged that the Clippers owner told his girl not to hang out with black people like Magic Johnson. But where was "erebody" when that same dude was disrespecting minorities in his apartment building for 30 years? Disrespect average people? No problem. But disrespect pro athletes? You over. So you didn't legally change your name to "Magic Johnson" for identity theft purposes? How dare you impugn Magic Johnson motives.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-12 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-12 Pub. Date: 2014-05-12
Image Number: 111229
Caption: Can you believe that Clippers owner? Whachoo mean? You know … that guy who told his girlfriend not to bring black people to his games, and not to post pictures online of herself associating with them. It was just three weeks ago. Oh, that. Yeah, I could believe that. What I can't believe is people who can't believe it. What country you think you in, Kumbaya-stan? You're a ray of sunshine, aren't you?
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-27 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-27 Pub. Date: 2013-11-27
Image Number: 104372
Caption: Dick? I want you to schedule a meeting with McMahon, Tate, Stephens and Evans. What do you mean "am I sure I want to do that"? Quit second-guessing me all the time. I don’t need my assistant to always second-guess me. No, I sure the correct phrase is "second" guessing. Dn't you mn "term"?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-26 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-26 Pub. Date: 2013-11-26
Image Number: 104371
Caption: I think it's about time Fitzhugh Fitzhugh & Fitzhugh became Fitzhugh, Fitzhugh, Fitzhugh & GARCIA. That's not possible, Garcia. What do you mean, sir? That's far too many latters. Fitzhugh Fitzhugh & Fitzhugh already stretches across the width of the building. We'd have to magically enlarge the building to add "Garcia." What if I insist? We'd hesitate to add a partner who believes in magic.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-10-20 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-10-20 Pub. Date: 2012-10-20
Image Number: 88636
Caption: Sure, feel free to list me as a professional reference. Will work 4 food.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-05 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-05 Pub. Date: 2012-07-05
Image Number: 83014
Caption: I've never understood what women want from me. Carolyn wanted me to be decisive, so I was. Then she said I was too bossy. Latoya said I should be more sensitive. So I cried during "Sleepless in Seattle." Then she left me for a professional wrestler. Maybe what women want is for me to not be what they want. Then they'll want me.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-04 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-04 Pub. Date: 2011-04-04
Image Number: 59396
Caption: Garcia, do you think it was professional of you to grab our eighth biggest client by the scruff of his neck and throw him down the mail chute? Is this a trick question, sir? No it's not a trick question. Abercrombie & Fitch wanted us to devise an ad campaign for their push-up bikini top for seven-year-olds. Good point. Seven-year-olds don't have a lot of cash, anyway. Exac ... no, that's not ... Dios mio.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-01 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-01 Pub. Date: 2010-12-01
Image Number: 54752
Caption: The whole "Gay Marriage" thing isn't turning out as we'd said it would. Fear, Inc. It's been legal in a bunch of states for years now, and hasn't destroyed the institution of marriage or made people want to marry their pet turtles. … And it's given extra business to the whole wedding industry: printers, clothiers, caterers ... Don't forget divorce attorneys. "GAY MARRIAGE LEADS TO MORE DIVORCES!*" Oh, how I want to kiss whoever invented the asterisk (unless it was a dude).
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-04 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-04 Pub. Date: 2010-11-04
Image Number: 53693
Caption: Hello, you've reached "The Law Guy." Hi, Little Billy? I’m calling to find out the status of my custody battle against Roxanne. May I speak with your Uncle Loafer? This is Loafer. No it isn't. I know the difference between the voice of a grown-up and the voice of a six-year-do. I am a grown-up. In fact, you've interrupted me doing my taxes, or watching "Price is Right," or some other boring @#$%. I'm starting to think I should've picked the second cheapest law firm. I am my Uncle and you cannot prove otherwise.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-15 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-15 Pub. Date: 2010-08-15
Image Number: 50724
Caption: Does it bother you that nobody trusts you, Clyde? It don't bother me, Big L. I don't think I wanna be trusted, no how, look at BP. Huh? The people thought BP was competent, right? Right. The people TRUSTED BP, right? Right. Well … look what happened. One huge oil spill that killed the whole Gulf of Mexico, and the people TURNED on BP! What the ... Look, I just want you to give me back my wallet. An' look at Tiger Woods ...
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-30 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-30 Pub. Date: 2009-10-30
Image Number: 40268
Caption: Hi, I'm David. I will be your kidnapper today. I'm Lemont Brown, a journalist. Nice to meet you. I'm at the forefront of Mexico's burgeoning "Kidnapping American Professionals" industry. Thriving U.S. companies pay me a lot of money to release their workers. Where should I send your ransom note? CNN? NBC? Well, I work for a newspaper. It's ... That was nice of them to give us 50 pesos. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-02 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-02 Pub. Date: 2009-10-02
Image Number: 39057
Caption: And you think you have swine flu because … Weren't you listening, Doc? I've been all achy, my nose is running. Also, my head feels like it's stuck in a tailpipe. Could be just a cold. Yeah, but when I tried to eat a ham sandwich I was overcome with a profound sense of shame. Leave the diagnoses to the professionals. Is this gray spot on the tip of my hair cancerous?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-05 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-05 Pub. Date: 2008-12-05
Image Number: 28421
Caption: Last time I went to see a football game, the players were all about ten years older than me. Today, I was sitting in the stands with my hot dogs and nachos and beer, and I realized… …that you're getting a gut? THAT THEY'RE ALL TEN YEARS YOUNG THAN ME. Who won? TIME! TIME WON! I think the nachos held their own.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-04 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-04 Pub. Date: 2008-12-04
Image Number: 28420
Caption: I used to feel like football players were champions fighting for our whole city's honor. Now I just feel like I'm watchin' a bunch of multimillionaires working. Like I'm eating hot dogs while watching Warren Buffet sell stock. RAAAAAAAGH! Good talk.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-03 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-03 Pub. Date: 2008-09-03
Image Number: 26380
Caption: So babe, what made you want to lie to people for a living? Excuse me? What are you talking about, Phil? Well, you're in advertising. You tell people they need stuff they don't really need. You're a professional liar. What? (sigh). Is this one of those "chick gets mad for no reason" things?
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-25 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-25 Pub. Date: 2008-01-25
Image Number: 21358
Caption: What d'you mean, "a dilemma"? On the one hand, I'm a professional journalist. …Whose job is to comment skeptically about the issues of our time. On the other hand… Every time I try to write critically about Barack Obama, I feel like the eyes of 50 million dead slaves are watching me. Ok, I guess that would be a dilemma. ...So I just write about Britney Spears.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-09-21 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-09-21 Pub. Date: 2007-09-21
Image Number: 18622
Caption: Look, Lemont… Can I call you "Lemont"? I mean, I feel like I know you. That's because you've been spying on me and thousands of other Americans. Yeah, this did start off professional. But over the years, I've come to see you as a… a person of interest. You don't have many friends, do you? "Operation make friends" proceeding as planned.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-25 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-25 Pub. Date: 2007-06-25
Image Number: 17710
Caption: Dear Mr. Brown, I'm writing a term paper for my creative writing class. I need to interview a brilliant professional writer. I've been reading your blog on the Candorville Courier website for some time now, so I'm wondering… Do you know any good writers I can contact?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-02-26 professional 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-11 Pub. Date: 2007-02-26
Image Number: 16385
Caption: 2006 Movie star Mel Gibson says horrible things about Jewish people. Stay tuned for several weeks of coverage about this outrage. 2006 TV star Michael Richards says horrible things about black people. Stay tuned for several weeks of coverage about this outrage. 2007 NBA star Tim Hardaway says horrible things about gay people. ...in other news... zzzzz
     
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