Little buddy, I believe you owe me an apology. How do you figure? You're the one who left me rotting in a jail cell! You were my one phone call! What happened to Randy's Friendship Rule #7: "Friends always bail friends out"?! You're forgetting the corollary: "Unless the friend's in jail for something pathetic, like trespassing while playing Pokémon Go." Apology accepted. A huge biker took it the wrong way when I tried to catch a Pokémon that was hiding under his beard.
Where's my nephew? I haven't seen Rudy in days. He's in jail. He called me to bail him out, but I just can't. What?! What did he do? Did he steal something? Did he hurt someone? What did my nephew do?! And how could you leave him in jail?! Why didn't you bail him out?! He broke into the mayor's house and rooted around his underwear drawer looking for a rare "Pokémon Go" character. Say no more. Please.