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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (62 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-15 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-15 Pub. Date: 2017-05-15
Image Number: 158076
Caption: This just in: A week's worth of oil has been found deep beneath Canardville, a suburb of Candorville. Oil companie … click. Photo of the Trump sons, Uday and Qusay, hunting an endangered bearicorn. The elusive half-bear, half-unicorn hybrid was once thought to be a myth, but ... Click. Putin appoints the notorious oligarch Kovarstvo Prestupnik to head up the newly created "Ministry of Blackmailing White House Stooges." Click. Gilligaaaaan, the Skipper tooooo ... the millionaaaaire ... and his wiiiiiiiiife ...
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-22 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-22 Pub. Date: 2017-03-22
Image Number: 155915
Caption: What do you mean I didn't tell you I was moving to Canada? Of course I told you. Did not. I wrote a three-part article about it for my site. I posted it on Facebook. I tweeted it. I Instagrammed a photo of myself applying for a passport, wearing a "Canada's Always Been Great" shirt and sucking on a maple-leaf shaped lollipop. If you were really my best friend, you'd have told me personally. If you were really my best friend, you'd actually read the things I write.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-10 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-10 Pub. Date: 2017-02-10
Image Number: 154241
Caption: Do you know why mankind is so susceptible to authoritarians, Rosencrantz? It's because our brains are wired to accept lies. Our conscious brain can eventually spot a lie. But for it to spot it, our unconscious brain first has to entertain it. And just as when you entertain a guest, there's a chance the guest will overstay his welcome, put up photos of his loved ones, and before you know it, he's moved in and you can't get rid of him. I'll say it one last time: I want my side of the sidewalk crack back, Tyrone. I don't know what you mean, I've always been on this side.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-06 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-06 Pub. Date: 2017-02-06
Image Number: 154237
Caption: I wanted my life to matter. I wanted to cause ripples in the ocean of existence. I wanted to affect people's lives. I wanted to create a legacy. I wanted my feet to make an imprint in the sand. And the only way to do that is this: When someone calls you to work on something larger than you, you answer, no matter who that person is. I still think Trump was just using you as a photo op when he asked you to help solve the homeless problem. Ben Carson and I had a good conversation. I'm sure he'll be calling me again any day now so we can get down to business.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-15 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-15 Pub. Date: 2016-12-15
Image Number: 152113
Caption: Maybe I should just go back to America and forget about "Vancouver." If I cross this street, walk up that hill, and knock on her door … I'll ruin it for both of us. In-person romance is way different from Facebook. In person, you can't delete or edit your comments before hitting "send." You can't send perfect photos with perfect lighting and perfect angles. I would say "Stop being a punk #@$%," but we don't cuss in Canada.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-15 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-15 Pub. Date: 2016-09-15
Image Number: 148482
Caption: Hi. I'm Lemont. I'm on my way to the airport. Heading to Vancouver to spend a week with the girl of my dreams. O K It's weird how it feels like I haven't seen her in months. I mean, we text all the time. We send each other photos, too. Not "Anthony Weiner" style photos ... I'm talking completely tasteful stuff ... mostly. You're not really a "small talk" kind of guy are you?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-03 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-03 Pub. Date: 2016-08-03
Image Number: 146690
Caption: I posted a really cute old picture of me dancing with Gary Coleman on Facebook. My sister's demanding I delete it, just 'cause her stupid ex is in the background. I said "no way," so now she's not talking to me. What do you think of that, Lemont? I think it's interesting how you turn every conversation into one about you. Yeah. That reminds me of my date last night ... Of course it does.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-27 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-27 Pub. Date: 2016-04-27
Image Number: 142411
Caption: Is it weird that I've been keeping a journal of all my son's firsts? No. His first smile His first act of defiance, the first time he said "agoo" Is it weird that it's all annotated with photos, videos and audio recordings? No. Is it weird that I had him reenact the firsts I missed? (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-03-31).
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-10 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-10 Pub. Date: 2016-03-10
Image Number: 140181
Caption: And that's when I told Dick Fink he was on thin ice. "Forgetting" to tell me about the "Ask Sadie" radio show meeting was one thing but "accidentally" replacing my Powerpoint with a slideshow full of Photoshopped pictures of me kicking puppies is something else. My boss won't let me fire him. He even said I was "overreacting" and being "self-centered." ... Actually, I asked if you wanted to hear about my day. And guess what else he said ...
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-07 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-07 Pub. Date: 2016-02-07
Image Number: 138359
Caption: People who complain about voter ID laws are such liars when they say dirt-poor people can't afford to get ID. How do they get to be drunk all the time? How can they possibly buy their booze if they don't have ID? They hand their money to someone else who does have ID, and say, "Can you buy me a beer?" It happens all the time. And how can they ever cash a check?! They endorse it to someone else, or they go to a check-cashing store. How do they fly on airplanes?! "Dirt-poor people" don't usually buy plane tickets. Well they don't seem to have any trouble showing photo ID to get welfare! A lot of places don't require photo ID to get welfare. You're really not supposed to answer rhetorical questions. Do you know very many "dirt-poor people"?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-18 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-18 Pub. Date: 2015-12-18
Image Number: 136534
Caption: So did you go get a doctor to check out that thing on your thingamajig? Sort of. I uploaded a photo of the thing to Google image search, so I could figure it out on my own. It's either a pimple, a cyst, or a Martian volcano. The technology isn't perfect, but it saved me a trip to the hospital. Dios mio ... you're going to die.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-18 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-18 Pub. Date: 2015-09-18
Image Number: 132518
Caption: I want you to follow these exercises to the letter Find pictures of you as a baby. Tape them all over your apartment. Whenever you see one of them, stop and tell the picture "you are a special, unique person." Tell the picture "I love you." Do exactly as I just said, until I tell you you can stop. That's how I can learn to take charge of my life? Just do it.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-26 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-26 Pub. Date: 2015-08-26
Image Number: 131715
Caption: Can I use your computer when you done, Big L. No, Clyde. With just a few clicks, you'd have access to my journal, my bank account, my photos and my browser history. Or you could download a virus or do something illegal and I'd get blamed for it. When have I ever done anything like that today? Forget it.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-18 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-18 Pub. Date: 2015-06-18
Image Number: 128379
Caption: How's your son, Lemont? He's great! "He's great"? That's it? I just don't want to be one of those dads who's always going on and on and on about his kid. I don't want people to get sick of hearing about him. That's why I try never to post more than 1 photo of him on Facebook per hour. That's thoughtful.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-17 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-17 Pub. Date: 2015-06-17
Image Number: 128378
Caption: Hi, you don't know me, but your son was bullying mine at the playground today and you didn't make him apologize. Who is this? How did you get my phone number? I took a photo of you as you drove off, and uploaded it to Google image search which linked me to your blog. I got your number from your domain name registry. I'm pretty sure that's stalking. Keep letting your gargoyle push my son off the swings with impunity, and you'll find out about stalking.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-26 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-26 Pub. Date: 2015-04-26
Image Number: 125568
Caption: Anyone who thinks we ever really went to the moon is a complete idiot. Youtube has tons of videos on this. Humans couldn't possibly have survived a trip through the Van Allen Radiation Belt. That's proof it was all a conspiracy. Not true. According to Dr. Van Allen himself, the notion that radiation should've killed those astronauts is "nonsense." Well how come we can't see the astronauts' footprints? That's proof it was all a conspiracy. Not true. Other countries have snapped pictures of the landing sites, and just a few years ago the lunar reconnaissance orbiter took photos of the footprints. There were no stars in the old films. That's proof it was all a conspiracy. The exposure settings were calibrated to get good shots of the extremely bright lunar surface. They couldn't do that and capture the relatively dim stars at the same time. You moon-landing-ists have an answer for everything. That's proof it was all a conspiracy. Thousands of people could never keep a secret that big for 46 years! That's what they want you to think.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-26 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-26 Pub. Date: 2014-11-26
Image Number: 119346
Caption: The state department is trolling Isis terrorists on Twitter. What? Some Isis butcher posted a photo of American troops abusing a woman, and the state department pointed out it's a clip from a Hungarian movie. Then the terrorists made fun of the state department's punctuation. I still don't think that's proof Isis is losing. I'm an expert in online arguing. People only resort to punctuation-mocking when they're losing.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-19 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-19 Pub. Date: 2014-11-19
Image Number: 118794
Caption: My baby boy's a genius. Whenever he gets hold of my iPhone, with just a few swipes he manages to delete all my photos and contacts. It would take me at least ten times as long to wreak as much havoc as he does in three seconds. Parents will be proud of anything. Yesterday, he launched my Wells Fraggo app and closed all my accounts without even looking.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-05 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-05 Pub. Date: 2014-10-05
Image Number: 116484
Caption: The Economist ran a book review where they called for a more "objective" look at slavery. They whined that "almost all the blacks in [this] book are victims, almost all the whites are villains." What, that surprise you, Big L.? Next thing you know, people gonna look into the slaves' high school records to see if they ever got suspended. Then they gonna go through the slaves' Facebook photos an' if they don't find no thug poses, they'll just Photoshop some gold teeth on the bruthas. They'll say Kunta Kinte stole a pack of cotton balls so he deserved what he got. Good talk, Clyde.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-10 photo 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-10 Pub. Date: 2014-09-10
Image Number: 116185
Caption: If the celebrities didnt want the world to see their naked pictures, they shouldnt have taken naked pictures. That's ridiculous. That's like saying if you dont want your money stolen, you shouldnt have put your money in your wallet. That's a dumb analogy. What I do with my own money is nobody's business. But what women do with their bodies IS? I'm glad we can agree on something.
     
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