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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (57 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-17 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-17 Pub. Date: 2019-10-17
Image Number: 179917
Caption: Jodie at work called me a Type A person. It offended me. Type A's are ambitious, outgoing, proactive, concerned with time-management … but they're also rigidly organized. I specifically planned to be flexibly organized at this point of my life. Couldn't you just move flexible to your fifties? That would throw everything off!!!
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-19 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-19 Pub. Date: 2018-07-19
Image Number: 172928
Caption: Thank you for doing this, Anderson Cooper. After Vietnam, I owe you. See The Starbucks at the End of the World, page 161. Here's how it'll go down: I ask to interview the refugees again. When the guards refuse, you create a distraction. You have one in mind? Affirmative. I fake a split personality and accuse myself of being fake news before I take offense at that and put myself in a headlock. Then ... Best I don't know the details. Ok. That's the air duct you'll be sneaking into? No. That's chocolate. I had a Snickers.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-22 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-22 Pub. Date: 2016-02-22
Image Number: 139560
Caption: Nobody understands why I hang out with you, Clyde. You're a thug, I'm not. You have no career, I do. You don’t care about the world, I report on it for a living. That's what they think, anyway, because they're not capable of looking past your loser image and seeing the real you. That's a compliment. If you have to say "that's a compliment," it ain't no compliment. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-03).
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-11 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-11 Pub. Date: 2015-07-11
Image Number: 129286
Caption: I can't believe your son's almost three, and I've still never met him. When I won custody, my ex agreed not to appeal the decision as long as Lionel's never in your presence. Roxanne doesn't want Lionel to know there are women out there who're much nicer than she it. Yeah, well it's awful that she singled me out. She didn't. Legally, I'm only allowed to date ladies I meet on stuckupharpy.com.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-11 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-11 Pub. Date: 2015-06-11
Image Number: 128070
Caption: What's wrong? I'm reading "Abaddon's Gate." That Melba Koh is getting away with everything. Who's "Melba Koh"? She's like a lot of people. She thinks the world owes her respect … even though she's never done anything worthy of respect … even though she's completely self-centered. I hate characters who think everything's about them. Then why are you reading it? 'Cause the more I hate her, the more I know I can't possibly be like her. So it's all about you?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-03 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-03 Pub. Date: 2015-04-03
Image Number: 124961
Caption: Last night, I dreamt that you and I were married. Only instead of a hat, you wore a mohawk. And instead of being into science fiction, you were into Harleys. And instead of being sweet, you were a jerk. And instead of having a two-year-old son, you had no kids at all. But other than that, it was totally you. Dream-me is a very lucky jerk.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-28 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-28 Pub. Date: 2015-02-28
Image Number: 123401
Caption: I've figured out what true love is, Clyde: it's when someone would never dream of changing you. Thug 4 Life. It's when someone likes all you annoying habits and mannerisms … … Because that's what makes you you. Thank God For Culture Clash. Thug 4 Life. What if trying to change YOU is the other person's annoying habit? Thank God For Culture Clash. Thug 4 Life. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-01-26).
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-07 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-07 Pub. Date: 2015-01-07
Image Number: 121078
Caption: We're several different people, Clyde. Say what? When I was a kid, I hated wheat bread. When I was a teen, I hated jazz. When I was 25, I hated "Star Trek: Enterprise." Now I love all that stuff. I'm not the same person I was 30, 20 or even 10 years ago. You need me to get you a new ID? I know a guy.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-25 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-25 Pub. Date: 2014-11-25
Image Number: 119345
Caption: What's on your Netflix playlist says everything about you. Wait … what's on your Amazon wish list says everything about you. On the other hand, maybe what's in your iTunes playlist says everything about you. I bed Sigmund Freud's iTunes playlust would've been full of smutty songs. "Playlist." What'd I say?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-15 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-15 Pub. Date: 2014-10-15
Image Number: 117631
Caption: I wonder if the Tupac Hologram feel joy or pain or whatnot. Thug 4 Life. Whachoo think it doin' right now? I think it eatin' cereal. It's not doing anything. Tupac a lotta things, but lazy ain't none of them. What? What? (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-05-23).
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-09 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-09 Pub. Date: 2014-03-09
Image Number: 107838
Caption: I'm tired of the way you write about me on your blog, Big L. You sensationalize me. You accentuate my most extreme personality traits. You don’t capture the richness, the three-dimensionality of C-Dog. I'm like the URKEL in the story of your life. I didn't know you felt that way, Clyde. I'll stop writing about you. ... Even though my latest poll showed that you're by far the most popular character on the blog. How popular we talkin'? Does it matter?
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-03 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-03 Pub. Date: 2014-02-03
Image Number: 106772
Caption: Nobody understands why I hang out with you, Clyde. You're a thug, I'm not. You have no career, I do. You don’t care about the world, I report on it for a living. That's what they think, anyway, because they're not capable of looking past your loser image and seeing the real you. That's a compliment. If you have to say "that's a compliment," it ain't no compliment.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-31 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-31 Pub. Date: 2014-01-31
Image Number: 106770
Caption: I feel sorry for the middle name. What? You've got your last name, which is the revered and responsible eldest child. Then you've got your first name, which is quirky and full of personality. But no one remembers the middle name exists until it plummets into an orgy of self-hatred and robs a bank. You had me ... and then lost me.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-10 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-10 Pub. Date: 2013-05-10
Image Number: 96589
Caption: I feel sorry for the middle name. What? You've got your last name, which is the revered and responsible eldest child. Then you've got your first name, which is quirky and full of personality. But no one remembers the middle name exists until it plummets into an orgy of self-hatred and robs a bank. You had me ... and then you lost me. (Originally published 2011-05-27).
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-30 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-30 Pub. Date: 2011-11-30
Image Number: 73558
Caption: 1982. Do you believe in E.T.'s, Lemont? I believe in everything, Susan. Ghosts? Check. Vampires? Check. Frankenstein? Check. Bigfoot? Check. Mummies? Check. Time travel? Check. Atlantis? No. Wait ... Check. Then Mrs. Washington is dead wrong about you. I AM a well-rounded individual.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-23 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-23 Pub. Date: 2011-09-23
Image Number: 65729
Caption: So Sasha Mitchell's your best friend, now? I can tell her things I can't tell anyone. Nobody's ever made me feel like that before. Lemont, a "best friend" is someone who's there for you in real life, not on Facebook. Someone who loves you in person, despite all your dorkiness, self-sabotaging, obliviousness, poor financial management and endless nitpicking. Generally speaking, I mean. That's not what dictionary-dot-com says.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-10 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-10 Pub. Date: 2011-09-10
Image Number: 65250
Caption: Remember Webster, from college? Yeah, how could I forget? He was really charming. Sasha Mitchell married him. I'm not surprised. She went after him pretty hard back then. She said when I didn't make a move on her back in college, it broker her heart, so she latched on to him because he was the complete opposite of me. Um ... What I meant to say was, he was so incredibly un-charming. Too late.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-24 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-24 Pub. Date: 2011-07-24
Image Number: 63532
Caption: What's this, Clyde? Your rehab list. My what? 12 steps to stop being a nerd. "(1) Admit that watching Star-Track reruns is throwin' salt in my game. (2) Do everything C-Dog say to do." That's only two steps. Well yeh … just repeat step two ten mo' times. First of all, it's Star "Trek." Come to think of it, I'm not even sure we need step one.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-13 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-13 Pub. Date: 2011-07-13
Image Number: 63189
Caption: To prove Lemont is insane, Roxanne's lawyer questions an eyewitness … Did Mr. Brown ever say anything to you about Roxanne Dubois? He said she snored, had lousy taste in music, didn't appreciate the subtle humor of "I Dream of Jeanne," and that she's a 400-year-old vampire. Would you characterize that as "crazy"? Of course. Everyone knows "Bewitched" was much better. What? What?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-29 personality 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-29 Pub. Date: 2011-05-29
Image Number: 61192
Caption: Confirmation bias. Huh? It's where a person decides something to be true … … And then they look only for examples that prove they're right, and ignore all the ones that show they may be wrong. Like, for instance, someone who decides a politician is awful will dwell on his failures - no matter how tiny they may be - and ignore or marginalize his accomplishments, no matter how huge they are. What's this have to do with you being a big-ass nerd? You're ignoring my vintage Tupac collection. Don't nobody but a nerd say "vintage."
     
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