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Rudy Park

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Result page:     (16 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-25 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-25 Pub. Date: 2018-02-25
Image Number: 168289
Caption: I'm not entirely sure I'm conscious, doc. It occurred to me last night, I am not an individual. I am a colony of 32 trillion individual living cells. Dr. Noodle … each of which lives, breathes, performs tasks, and quite possibly considers itself to be a conscious individual with free will. The thought reminded me of when I was in the army. Each of us was an individual cell focused on an individual task ... but before we knew it, because of the decisions made unbeknownst to any of us grunts ... the body of us, the colony we all comprised ... had marched across Europe, and swum across the Pacific, and liberated half the world ... maybe I prescribed you a little too much Cannabis. You may think you thought that thought, but you're just an antibody reflexively protecting the colony.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-03 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-03 Pub. Date: 2018-01-03
Image Number: 166787
Caption: You asked to see me, boss? Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here. I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7. Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that your publicly performing the theme, they may sue the café for royalties. Daaaa ... daaaa ... duh-duh-duh ... daaaaaaa ... daaaa ... duh-duh-duh ... Wait, what? If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-03 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-03 Pub. Date: 2017-02-03
Image Number: 153981
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? I caught my wife with another man, and I threw her out. But ever since, she's been telling me I didn't see what I know I saw. She said he was only performing acupuncture. I said "There were no needles," and she said "Yes there were." I said "What kind of acupuncturist doesn't wear clothes?" and she said "He was wearing clothes." And she say it like she really believes it ... which makes me think maybe I did imagine it. Believe your eyes, you ninny! She said her "alternative facts" were just as valid as mine. Maybe she has a point.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-12 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-12 Pub. Date: 2017-01-12
Image Number: 153095
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Donald Trump's Inauguration. Specifically, we'll talk about how most of the big starts asked to perform for him refused to do it. We'll also be talking about how yours truly won the blue ribbon at the 1928 Jr. Miss Flapper competition at the "And How!" speakeasy for my rendition of "Bug-Eyed Betty is the Bees Knees." Trump called me, but I refused to perform too. But I gave him the third runner-up's contact info. Trump, Bessie May Gobthwacker is waiting for your call.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-12 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-12 Pub. Date: 2016-12-12
Image Number: 152122
Caption: I'm proud of you, Mort. It's been a month and you haven't once freaked out a bout Donald Trump winning the election. That's because I made a pilgrimage to a fog-shrouded castle atop a mountain in Foreignvania. There, a renegade mystic performed an incantation that reboots my memory to November 7, 2016 every time someone mentions Trump. I'm not sure that's a good long-term coping mechanism. Rebooting! ... Hey ... don't forget to vote tomorrow, Randy.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-01 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-01 Pub. Date: 2016-07-01
Image Number: 145238
Caption: Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundred of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But now one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is ... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-21 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-21 Pub. Date: 2016-04-21
Image Number: 142133
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 4am, minion. I'm hoping it's good news, boss. I notice you haven't supported the café on Kickstarter yet. I work here. You're supposed to pay me, not the other way around. I saw something interesting on YouTube the other day: A robot that walks, performs manual labor, never complains, never sleeps, never calls in sick ... Kickstarter accepts all major forms of payment. Very bad man.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-21 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-21 Pub. Date: 2016-02-21
Image Number: 138713
Caption: Rudy, I'd like you to broaden your skill-set. What for, boss? You have a real flair for making coffee. House of Java Cybercafe. But the era of the specialist is over. These days, workers must be able to perform the duties of several people. A lot of political cartoonists are now expected to also draw bar graphs and write articles covering the local car wash openings. I fired my long-time dentist so I could hire one who'd agree to also paint my bathroom. Workers specializing in just one thing is a historical aberration, anyway. For most of human history, people had to catch their own food, make their own clothes, dig their own graves ... and give offerings to their overlords. How good are you at painting bathrooms and performing root canals? How hard can that be? I'll go see if there's a root canal on Youtube.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-23 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-23 Pub. Date: 2015-12-23
Image Number: 136904
Caption: You asked to see me, boss? Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here. I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7. Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind what you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the café for royalties. Daaaa ... daaaa ... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa ... daaaa ... duh-duh-duh ... wait, what? If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-22 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-22 Pub. Date: 2015-11-22
Image Number: 134803
Caption: Good morning, Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you. I like licorice. It's time for your annual performance review. In short, you've done very well this year. Thank you, boss. You're friendly, punctual, and well-groomed. You follow direction acceptably, you've shown initiative, and you brew a fine cup of coffee. Those are the pluses. There's only one negative, really. Only 1.3 percent of your social media posts and comments have been about me or the cafe, and of those only 94% have been positive. An overwhelming 6% have been neutral. The only thing keeping me from firing you is, 0% have been negative. Just thought of a negative. I'm also not thrilled about that cute kitten you re-tweeted in February. I'm more of a piranha man.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-15 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-15 Pub. Date: 2015-11-15
Image Number: 134469
Caption: Open mic night presents Meleogris Gobbler. 'Tis the story of a woeful refugee … whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he … but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended his land. When Redcoats invaded over land and sea, he's peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No. You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do to redeem your traitorous heart ... if you grant all my brethren refugee status, before these holidays start. Anyone have any gravy?
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-21 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-21 Pub. Date: 2015-09-21
Image Number: 132888
Caption: How do I find true love, Randy? You really want my advice? Of course. I'm not getting any younger. My business empire is performing beyond expectations … so I figure now would be a good time to expand my portfolio and acquire a love interest. I don’t think you're ready for my advice on that. I expect at least a 120% return on my affection.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-20 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-20 Pub. Date: 2015-09-20
Image Number: 131973
Caption: Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over … baseball season's nearly done. The time is growing short to see the man-meat hit home runs. Their rippling biceps swinging wooden bats hard through the air … their quadriceps pump, unbridled, while I sit there and stare. And when they slide into home plate, there's always a slim chance ... that if they slid in wrong, they're a-gonna split their pants! I don't think I'll ever be able to un-hear that.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-26 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-26 Pub. Date: 2015-08-26
Image Number: 131659
Caption: What're you reading? You've been reading that all day. Oh, nothing much … Just a printout of all your most humiliating Facebook posts, "likes" and conversations, which have all become exposed to the world because you never updated your privacy settings. I'll be performing a dramatic reading of the most damaging ones on my radio show. I'll begin with the bed-wetting status update. Yes! I've gone multimedia!
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-01 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-01 Pub. Date: 2015-02-01
Image Number: 121465
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents: The Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm glad.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-01 perform 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-01 Pub. Date: 2014-06-01
Image Number: 111310
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents The Poetry Stylings of Rudy Park. O tardigrade, o tardigrade, o microscopic tardigrade … Invulnerable invertebrate you disapprove those who venerate … Nay, consecrate the vertebrates. Your tiny size cannot negate - in any way invalidate ... Depreciate ... Eliminate your innate state of "great." Almost all life thou doth predate. Mass extinctions? ... You tolerate. While dinosaurs, they meet their fate, you propagate and populate. You survive almost anyplace ... from deepest seas to outer space. To those who try to make a case that having 'no backbone's" disgrace, I point you out, o tardigrade and say ... IN ... YOUR ... FACE! See, Claire?! I'm not the only one who thinks backbones are overrated! Shut up, dear. Ok.
     
Result page:     (16 images)