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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about parents.

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121. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-01 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-01 Pub. Date: 2016-04-01
Image Number: 141137
Caption: You know what I like best about being a dad? When my little boy curls up in my lap and falls asleep. I hold him tight and know he feels warm and safe, and I feel like I can protect him from anything. Even from time. Because as long as he lives, he'll be able to close his eyes and remember this feeling and be two years old again ... hopefully without the wetting himself part. It's important to know when to stop talking.
     
122. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-31 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-31 Pub. Date: 2016-03-31
Image Number: 141136
Caption: You WANT to sleep, son. You know why? Because your dreams are waiting for you. As soon as you sleep, you'll be running through a big, wide field of grass, playing tag with Kermit the Frog. Then you'll be soaring up in the clouds with the birdies and with a flying unicorn. Then you'll be driving a big red fire truck on the rings of Saturn. Your dreams are the only place you can do these things without the authorities taking you away ... Zzzz ...
     
123. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-30 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-30 Pub. Date: 2016-03-30
Image Number: 141135
Caption: Son, daddy needs to go night-night. Want to help me go night-night? Ok, I'll help you. Thank you. If you climb under your covers and stay very very still and very very quiet … it'll make me go to sleep, like magic. Only you can do that for daddy, Lionel. That makes you important. I can't help you. If I do, you'll never learn to sleep on your own. If you need daddy, he'll be over here curled up in the fetal position.
     
124. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-24 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-24 Pub. Date: 2016-03-24
Image Number: 140811
Caption: Last night, I couldn't wait till my toddler went to sleep so I could relax and watch tv in peace. But once he fell asleep, I missed him so much that I watched his favorite shows till I fell asleep too. I could've watched "Game of Thrones" or a racy movie ... but I watched "Thomas the Train." ... for three hours, Susan. What's wrong with me? Reason #485 why I will never have kids. "Thomas the Train" is actually a pretty subversive show, when you think about it.
     
125. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-01 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-01 Pub. Date: 2016-03-01
Image Number: 139625
Caption: So how's Lionel? Amazing. Guess what happened last night? We were eating dinner. He was playing with his food, so I asked him if he was done, and I reached for this plate. He said "I not done, but you can take it after I done." "Amazing" means something else once you have kids, I guess. He's using compound sentences three years early!
     
126. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-29 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-29 Pub. Date: 2016-02-29
Image Number: 139624
Caption: Goodnight, son. I hafta poop. Are you telling daddy the truth? Yeth. That's the third time you've told me that tonight. And every time, you don't poop. You just sit there and ask me to bring you toys. You're stalling for time, son. I'm on to you. Have you ever heard of "The Boy Who Cried Poop"? I hafta poop.
     
127. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-24 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-24 Pub. Date: 2016-02-24
Image Number: 139562
Caption: What's it like havin' a kid, Big L? I'll put it this way, Clyde … You remember how when we were kids, a single drop of water on a little blade of grass would be amazing to you? No, I don’t remember that. Well … now I do. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-05).
     
128. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-19 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-19 Pub. Date: 2016-02-19
Image Number: 139238
Caption: We had a great day today, didn't we son? Did you have fun? Yes! Tell daddy your favorite part of our day, Lionel. We went to the zoo. We went to the moon. We found a whale on Jupiter. Hith name wath Hub Hub. Close enough. He wiked fwench fwies.
     
129. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-14 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138656
Caption: I put spyware on my son's computer. Last night, I saw what he's been looking at. Now I feel so guilty. He was watching dozens of Youtube videos detailing the theory that Jar Jar Binks was actually the most powerful evil Jedi in all of "Star Wars." I watched them all. They showed clips from the prequels where Jar Jar was clearly using the Jedi mind trick to manipulate everyone around him. Isaac Asimov was a huge "Star Wars" inspiration. These videos pointed out how Binks is eerily similar to a deceptively buffoonish character named "The Mule" in Asimov's "Foundation" series. It's undeniable. Jar Jar was the real "Phantom Menace," and Lucas must've abandoned that whole idea when we all jumped down his throat about the character. So ... you feel guilty for spying on your child since he wasn't doing anything wrong? I feel guilty for giving George Lucas such a hard time about Phantom Menace. The man was a genius.
     
130. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-16 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-16 Pub. Date: 2016-01-16
Image Number: 137668
Caption: Hello, mom, you've reached Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out on a date with a girl other than the one you keep trying to set me up with. Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as she's broken my heart and I'm ready to come to my senses.
     
131. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-31 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-31 Pub. Date: 2015-12-31
Image Number: 137116
Caption: This C-Dog. Whachoo want, fool? Clyde, it's me, Lemont. I just wanna say thanks for watching Lionel for me tonight. Just an FYI: I'm potty training him, so please don't put a diaper on him till bedtime. Also, he's refusing to use the potty, so he may jump up and run around the house in mid-poop. Why you ain't tell me all this BEFORE I agreed to watch him?! No reason.
     
132. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-20 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-20 Pub. Date: 2015-12-20
Image Number: 136218
Caption: See all these millions of people, son? Anything they've earned, you can earn too. Anything they've built, you can build too. Anything they've inherited … Anything they've earned you can earn too. Daddy? Why you always not finishing sentences?
     
133. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-04 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-04 Pub. Date: 2015-12-04
Image Number: 135927
Caption: Son, your daddy met a woman he likes a lot. What would you think if he started bringing her around to meet you? Ith the woman mommy? No, son, she's not mommy. She's someone else. Doth the woman wike to pway cawth? Yes, son. I'm sure the woman would like to play cars. How do you know? Have you pwayed cawth with her? I'll answer that when you're much older. The woman theemth actheptable.
     
134. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-18 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-18 Pub. Date: 2015-11-18
Image Number: 135315
Caption: Whachoo gon' do for Thanksgiving, Big L? Visit momma. Lionel's almost three, and she hasn't seen him in months. She's going to be so surprised when I show up with my boy, a turkey dinner and flowers. She ain't know you comin'? What if she ain't there? Well, then me missing Thanksgiving would be HER fault ... and the only logical thing for Lionel and me to do would be to camp out at the theater and wait 'till "Star Wars" opens. I see what game you runnin' bruh. You ain't slick.
     
135. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-03 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-03 Pub. Date: 2015-11-03
Image Number: 134722
Caption: Hello, Tara: I just want to say … I love my son more than life itself. My love will always be with him, no matter what happens. I've lived a long life. Seen many things. Gone many places. I have no regrets. By the way, I'm having a major medical procedure done tomorrow. But if my son doesn't call me before then, no big deal. I just don't want HIM to have regrets. (Hopefully I don't accidentally send this text to him, totally by mistake.) (Sigh) Better call momma. People have been known to die from tooth-cleanings. Just saying.
     
136. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-21 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-21 Pub. Date: 2015-10-21
Image Number: 133800
Caption: Sometimes I think "baby brain" is a real thing, Susan. Ever since I won custody of my son, I've been forgetting things. I've forgotten what I had for breakfast … I've forgotten whether I took a shower today … I can't believe you're blaming forgetting my birthday on your two-year-old kid. What are we talking about?
     
137. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-16 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-16 Pub. Date: 2015-10-16
Image Number: 133796
Caption: Wanna come over and watch C-Span with Lionel and me? No, I … wait. Wait a second … You and your two-year-old son watch C-Span together? You mean PBS, right? "Sesame Street"? No, I mean C-Span. The channel that shows Congress in action. Why? Just … Why? Because he's too young to watch "The Walking Dead." I can't make it. I'll be busy forgetting this conversation.
     
138. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-12 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-12 Pub. Date: 2015-10-12
Image Number: 133792
Caption: My son needs speech therapy, but I don't have the money. Insurance will cover it, but only once he turns three. Should I wait till he's three … or should I have him lie about his age and risk teaching him it's ok to deceive: which'll possibly lead to a career in politics? Why e'rebody treat "risk" like it a four-letter word? Man up. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice. $2.
     
139. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-24 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-24 Pub. Date: 2015-09-24
Image Number: 132815
Caption: You can jump five more times, or you can jump six more times before going to sleep. It's up to you. How many more times do you want to jump? Five or six? Five-oh-thix. "506" was not one of the options, son. Uh-huh, daddy. You thed it. One! … Two! … Fwee! ... Eight! ... Ten! ... Fouw! ... Eleven! ... This is going to be a long night.
     
140. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-23 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-23 Pub. Date: 2015-09-23
Image Number: 132814
Caption: What're you going to dream about tonight, son? Macawoni an' cheeth. Lionel, you can dream about anything. Big choo-choo trains clickety-clacketying across the countryside … winged horsies flying you high above fluffy white clouds … spaceships flying you way up there beyond the stars! Judging my dweams may give me a compwex. What the -- ? Where do you learn these things?
     
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