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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about parents.

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361. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-26 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-26 Pub. Date: 2009-02-26
Image Number: 30263
Caption: The Dubois Clan was young, as vampire broods went. But dad was even younger. "Too impatient to finish his training. "Thought he could slay the fangs by himself." "Fangs"? Hunter slang for "vampires." Why not "vamps"? Copyright issues. Lawyers would get involved, and... WILL YOU LET ME FINISH MY STORY?! "Fangs." Phsst.
     
362. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-25 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-25 Pub. Date: 2009-02-25
Image Number: 30262
Caption: ARTEMIS Kenchu, my dad, was a vampire hunter. He heard the Dubois Clan had settled in New Orleans. "He tracked the vampires through the swamps… "…across the bayous… "…through the snow…" Snow? In New Orleans? The Kenchus were never great with directions.
     
363. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-21 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-21 Pub. Date: 2009-01-21
Image Number: 29568
Caption: You wanted to see me, Sir? Come in, Brown. As you know, our parent company wants us to cut costs. Fifty reporters, fifty salaries… It all adds up. We've come up with a novel solution. How much do we pay you to write our blog? Nothing. How would you like to double that while doing fifty times as much work?
     
364. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-13 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-13 Pub. Date: 2008-11-13
Image Number: 28013
Caption: …So then I was almost eaten by a man-eating tiger. That's nice. You know what I had to do while you were on vacation? I wasn't on vacation! I was embedded on a dangerous rescue mission in the jungles of Vietnam! I had to explain to our son why you weren't around to teach him to shave. He's one!
     
365. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-26 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-26 Pub. Date: 2008-10-26
Image Number: 27604
Caption: Hello young, low-income, or minority voter. Don't forget to vote this Saturday. You mean TUESDAY. And remember, if you're a student and your parents claimed you as a dependent, you're ineligible to vote… Huh? That's a lie. …And if you do vote, you'll lose your financial aid and health insurance. You're crazy. If you haven't paid your taxes and you vote, you'll be audited. Ok, that's it. Get lost. SLAM! If you have a Spanish surname and you try to vote, you might be deported to Cuba. Millions of minorities, elderly, poor, and injured veterans have been accidentally electrocuted by voting machines. ...Just sayin'. I'M NOT LISTENING!
     
366. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-16 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-16 Pub. Date: 2008-09-16
Image Number: 26779
Caption: Sometimes I think Phil's insulting me, but then he just laughs and says "Can't you take a joke?" I'm not sure I'm a fan of his alleged sense of humor, Lemont. SUSAN, I SAID I THINK SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS MIGHT BE MY SON'S REAL FATHER! Why's it always about you?
     
367. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-30 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-30 Pub. Date: 2008-08-30
Image Number: 26242
Caption: Relax, Mr. Braun. "Brown." What do you mean "relax"?! I caught you sneaking out of my fiancée's house at 2 in the morning! I have a logical explanation: I'm John Edwards. Roxanne's dad was my biggest fundraiser when I ran for president. And, I often pay visits to babies who aren't mine at 2 in the morning. A guy's gotta have a hobby. THAT'S NOT A HOBBY!
     
368. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-29 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-29 Pub. Date: 2008-08-29
Image Number: 26241
Caption: Hold it right there! Wha? Who-- I'm Lemont Brown… ...and that's my fiancée's house you're sneaking out of at two in the morning. That's my son's house you're sneaking out of at two in the morning! I wanna know two things: (a) what are you doing here, and (b) who the @#$% are you?! Wait... John Edwards? (a) I deny everything, and (b), Ok, I confess.
     
369. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-28 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-28 Pub. Date: 2008-08-28
Image Number: 26240
Caption: Clyde, I… I don't think I WANT to ask Roxanne for a DNA test. What if Lionel isn't really my son? What if that guy in there is his real father? What if he's not good to Lionel -- leaves him just like my dad left me? You got any corn nuts? Do you mind? I'm in the middle of a touchingly anguished father/son soliloquy here! So... You ain't got no corn nuts?
     
370. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-27 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-27 Pub. Date: 2008-08-27
Image Number: 26239
Caption: Can't believe there's another man in there right now with Roxanne and my son. Big L, that dude been sneakin' in there for two years. Don't you see? This is probably cause. Probably 'cause what? You know. For you to demand a DNA test. For you to skip out on that evil woman an' her devil child. You mean "probably cause." So you agree.
     
371. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-26 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-26 Pub. Date: 2008-08-26
Image Number: 26238
Caption: This is wrong, Big L. You can't hide in the bushes like this outside yo' woman's house to catch her cheatin'. Dear God, Clyde. You're right. What was I thinking? She's the mother of my child. We're getting married. I should trust her. I should have faith in her. I was gon' say you should call the Maury Show get this @#$% on tape. Good talk, Clyde.
     
372. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-25 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-25 Pub. Date: 2008-08-25
Image Number: 26237
Caption: Big L, you a "sensitive" dude. Uh… Thanks? Say I got this friend named big… Al. Say I saw some dude sneakin' in an' out Big Al's woman's house at 2 AM. Say I got a reason to believe dude is really the father of the kid Big L… AL… thought was his. What's a "sensitive" way to tell big Al? WELL THAT'S NOT IT!!!
     
373. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-01 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-01 Pub. Date: 2008-08-01
Image Number: 25421
Caption: Saxon, what am I going to do if Lemont never comes back? Little Lionel needs a father. Not really I had a father, and-- That's true. And look at you. A 33-year-old loser with no future. You're not an easy person to comfort. Don't sell yourself short, Salmon. I feel MUCH better.
     
374. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-10 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-10 Pub. Date: 2008-06-10
Image Number: 24089
Caption: Where are you taking my son? I'm taking OUR son to the doctor to see why he still isn't talking. No you're not, because that would be the responsible thing to do. I don't care if he never talks, 'cause I'm a bad, bad, BAD mother! I don't believe that happened, Lemont. Well not EXACTLY like that, but...
     
375. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-09 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-09 Pub. Date: 2008-06-09
Image Number: 24088
Caption: Hold him tighter. He's slipping. He's not slipping. Don't squeeze him. I'm not squeezing him. Look him in the eye, so he knows he's loved. I'm doing that. Don't stare at him, he'll get self-conscious. Oh…give him to me. Fine. …(sigh) how come you never want to hold your own son?
     
376. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-23 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-23 Pub. Date: 2008-01-23
Image Number: 21356
Caption: Lionel, Daddy's goin' home now. He's not leaving 'cause of you. If it were up to Daddy, he'd take you with him… …and run away from this crazy house, and it'd be just the two of you. Hanging out, watching Star Trek, drinking cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper... You bugged his diaper again, didn't you? Mother's prerogative.
     
377. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-12-18 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-12-18 Pub. Date: 2007-12-18
Image Number: 20782
Caption: Look, Lionel! Mommy fell down the stairs, but she's fine now! Oh no, what have you done to him?! What do you mean? He's all blurry. Ok, no more painkillers for you. Fiend! You've ruined him for life!
     
378. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-12-17 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-12-17 Pub. Date: 2007-12-17
Image Number: 20781
Caption: What happened? You fell down the stairs last week. You've been hopped up on painkillers ever since. Lionel! Where's Lionel? Our son's fine. Roxanne. I'VE been watching him all week. I’m gonna need more painkillers. Say, where do you keep the diapers.
     
379. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-11-27 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-11-27 Pub. Date: 2007-11-27
Image Number: 19716
Caption: Oh, that's OK, you go ahead and take THAT SUSAN to your school reunion. Even though the mother of your child is deathly ill and might not be able to take care of your son while you're gone. You don't look sick to me. Cough. Cough, I say. Not buying it.
     
380. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-11-26 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-11-26 Pub. Date: 2007-11-26
Image Number: 19715
Caption: Lemont: I think our son's about to say his first word! Hold on. My elementary school reunion's in an hour. Susan's waiting for me at the subway. You're not using our child to keep me from hanging out with Susan, are you? What? How could you even ask me that?! Well... OK. Sorry. I'll get the camera so you can tape him for the next several hours.
     
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