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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about parents.

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261. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-01-19 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-01-19 Pub. Date: 2013-01-19
Image Number: 92334
Caption: You don’t need a woman, Big L. You smart. You work hard. You honest. You a good man. You can raise your son on your own. That's not why I'm desperately looking for a woman! Maybe not "honest."
     
262. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-01-12 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-01-12 Pub. Date: 2013-01-12
Image Number: 91988
Caption: Say what? I bought Lionel his first iPad. But since he's only two, he's not allowed to use it on his own. I read him stories on it once a day for about an hour. The rest of the day, I keep it with me to make sure he doesn't get online or anything. In other words, you bought yourself an iPad. I'd never spend that much money on myself.
     
263. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-24 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-24 Pub. Date: 2012-12-24
Image Number: 91452
Caption: Hi, momma, did you get the Christmas card I sent you? No, I sent it through email. No … On the computer. You just click on the link. No … … You just plug it into the wall. Sometimes I think old people are just pulling my leg.
     
264. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-06 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-06 Pub. Date: 2012-12-06
Image Number: 90580
Caption: I'm sick of liberals saying we should raise taxes to help pay off the national debt. If the government were a household that spent more than it took in, the parents would do the ONLY THING they could and cut back on unnecessary expenses. Um … They could also look for higher-paying jobs that brought in more revenue. What'd you say? I was on the phone canceling my electricity and my phone. The Starbucks at the End of the World.
     
265. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-11-27 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-11-27 Pub. Date: 2012-11-27
Image Number: 90358
Caption: Hi, momma. I'm sorry I didn’t come over for thanksgiving. The custody arrangement is really strict. I'm not allowed to take Lionel out of the state … … Or out of the county. Or out of the city. Or out of the neighborhood. But other than that, we can go anywhere. Do Not Lean On Door. ... Between 7th and 8th streets. ... Hello? Do Not Lean On Door.
     
266. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-10-27 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-10-27 Pub. Date: 2012-10-27
Image Number: 88840
Caption: Will listen to you talk about the "funny thing" your kid said for $.
     
267. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-10-11 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-10-11 Pub. Date: 2012-10-11
Image Number: 88328
Caption: Where your kid at, Big L? I thought you was bringing him over to watch TV. He was tired so I put him to sleep in your bedroom. Oh. Another stereotype bites the dust. Thug 4 Life. Say, does Lionel know how to snoop through closets and report people to police? Another stereotype bites the dust. Thug 4 Life. Why do you ask? Just making conversation. Another stereotype bites the dust. Thug 4 Life.
     
268. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-04 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-04 Pub. Date: 2012-09-04
Image Number: 87120
Caption: You did what? Took Lionel to his first town hall meeting. He's only two, but it's never too early to teach him he's a member of society and everyone values his opinions. He asked if the President would consider replacing the "bald eagle" as the national mascot. People with kids ... He made a great, 18-minute long case for "Big Bird."
     
269. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-12 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-12 Pub. Date: 2012-08-12
Image Number: 84692
Caption: Case #17700503-F Lionel Brown. Compiled by Federal Agent Eugene O. Murphy. 2:17 am - Refuses to stop bouncing even after father warns him this will do down on his permanent record. Almost potty trained. Muppet.
     
270. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-09 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-09 Pub. Date: 2012-08-09
Image Number: 85362
Caption: Every parent goes through this, Lemont. When a child surpasses the parent at math, that parent feels obsolete. Dumb. Useless. Pathetic. Old. Fraudulent. Disgraceful. I was gonna say I felt proud of my kid. Oh. Never mind, then. M.A.
     
271. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-07 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-07 Pub. Date: 2012-08-07
Image Number: 85360
Caption: Lionel's some kind of prodigy. He's only two and he's already multiplying and dividing. He asked me "What's five divided by seven," and I realized … I forgot how to do that. Admitting I didn’t know would've wrecked his image of me. So I said "Pancakes" and pretended to fall asleep.
     
272. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-27 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-27 Pub. Date: 2012-07-27
Image Number: 84531
Caption: I hate to admit it, but sometimes I can't stand talking to my kid. Dr. Noodle. Sometimes I'm actually bored, 'cause all we talk about is happy kid stuff. Lately I've been calling my creditors in the middle of the night and asking them to lower my APR … ... Just to have some adult recrimination. Totally normal. Ph.D.
     
273. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-26 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-26 Pub. Date: 2012-07-26
Image Number: 84530
Caption: Why won't you go to sleep. Cuth I don’t want to. That's circular reasoning, son. It's one of the most common logical fallacies. And every time a child utters a logical fallacy, a Muppet dies a horrible death. Are you thtill talking?
     
274. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-29 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-29 Pub. Date: 2012-06-29
Image Number: 82892
Caption: Dear Voter: As you know, there have been almost no incidents of voter fraud in the state. In response, we have purged tens of thousands of suspicious voters, such as yourself, from voter rolls. To be reinstated, you must schedule a hearing to provide us with a valid ID, birth certificate, and third grade report card. If you're a 93-year-old minority without a birth certificate, simply have a parent verify your citizenship.
     
275. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-09 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-09 Pub. Date: 2012-06-09
Image Number: 81662
Caption: What do you mean Lionel already bought your Father's Day gift? He's two, Lemont. He doesn’t have any money. I know he'd be sad about that … So I used his college fund to get myself the complete Doctor Who DVD set. You're very thoughtful. You have to put the children first.
     
276. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-06 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-06 Pub. Date: 2012-06-06
Image Number: 81659
Caption: If I ask you to pick up Lionel from day care while I am at the job agency … Time. … Will that end in disaster? Time. How could you ask that? We best friends. Sorry, Clyde. I forgive you. … Who's Lionel? Time.
     
277. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-25 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-25 Pub. Date: 2012-05-25
Image Number: 81181
Caption: So what happened when you took Lionel to visit his mom? I don't know. For some reason, I never remember what happens with her. What? If I were a superhero, my power would be forgetting bad experiences. Dios mio. I wonder if I can sell "Forget-Man" to Hollywood.
     
278. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-16 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-16 Pub. Date: 2012-05-16
Image Number: 80977
Caption: So how's Lionel? No, I don’t think I should take him to Roxanne's. After all, I sued to share custody 50-50, because I was raised by a single mom and I know how important a mom is to a son. Not my fault the court gave me sole custody. Um … Ok. I resent your insinuation that I'm doing something wrong.
     
279. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-14 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-14 Pub. Date: 2012-05-14
Image Number: 80981
Caption: … And then, on his way out the door, the father turned and said … " … I would think you'd offer a discount of at least 10% … " … So even broke people could honor him by buying the book." I don’t think thith ith "Where da Wild Things Are."
     
280. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-17 parent 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-17 Pub. Date: 2012-04-17
Image Number: 79548
Caption: People keep coming to my Facebook page to have conversations with each other. … What? Every time I turn on the Facebook, there are people talking about Lord knows what. WHY ARE THEY ON MY FACEBOOK? That's just your news stream, momma. WHAT? WHAT IS THAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? Want me to stop the world so you can catch up? Does this mean someone's been on my computer machine?
     
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