Frank and Ernest
Comics and cartoons
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Meet Santa. In this age of rampant corruption and worldwide terrorism, I can't believe you're still hung up on naughtiness! Views on naughtiness aside, Santa's a twenty-first century businessman. He's outsourced lots of his production to the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Yeah, and he also used his high volume to get a great rate on overnight shipping. But I don't get it --- He's still gotta get revenue from someplace! Are you kidding?! He gets letters from millions of kids -- I'll bet he sells his mailing lists!
Today we visit Ernie von Shoot, to talk about some of his recent films. First was the one with Tom Hanks, as a man who trashes a forest preserve. Yes. I called that "Forest Dump." Then, Marlon Brando as an uncoordinated dad trying to teach sports to his son. Yes -- "The Clodfather." A documentary with two cosmetic surgeons battling to be the best. "Scar Wars." And now you're planning an Arnold Schwarzenegger film in which his job gets outsourced! Yes. I'll call it "The Terminated."