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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-20 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-20 Pub. Date: 2018-03-20
Image Number: 169627
Caption: I'm starting to feel like nothing really matters anymore. Dr. Noodle. I remember just ten years ago, I'd spend hours online arguing with random strangers about important things. M.D. We all seemed to take plenty of time back then to listen to each others' points. We'd research our counter-arguments and present them. Sometimes we'd actually change each others' minds. I see. So when you tweeted all that last night, how did people respond? Some said I was being a snowflake, other said that was fake news.
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-26 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-26 Pub. Date: 2018-02-26
Image Number: 168927
Caption: Did you know that while nobody was paying any attention, evil neo Nazis have overrun Ukraine? And our military industrial complex is sending them weapons? Wait ... what? But it's ok, because when they become a big enough threat, our military industrial complex will also get to send weapons to their enemies. So it'll all even out. Sarcasm Monday strikes again. It's nice to see our defense contractors finally making a profit.
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-09 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-09 Pub. Date: 2018-02-09
Image Number: 168184
Caption: Daddy, why did the moon go away? Well, it's simple, son. You know about the sun? Uh huh. And the earth? Uh huh. Just as earth orbits the sun, the moon orbits the earth. When it's on our side of the planet, we can see it, but when it dips below the horizon, or when there's a total lunar eclipse or cloud cover, we can't. The moon's sleeping. Oh.
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-06 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-06 Pub. Date: 2018-02-06
Image Number: 168181
Caption: I wrote an article about how people are purchasing followers for their social media accounts. There are bot factories that grab selfies we post to social media, along with out names and email addresses … and they use all our info to create and sell these fake follower accounts. A lot of famous people with millions of followers actually bought most of them. Did you write that 'cause President Trump mocked you for only having 20,000 Twitter followers? Totally unrelated.
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-04 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-04 Pub. Date: 2018-02-04
Image Number: 167354
Caption: More than 170 million of us might have radium in our tap water, Clyde. Radium. Do you have any idea what this means? What it mean, Big L? Canada or Bust! It means we may be drinking radioactive water. It could cause all sorts of things: anemia, bone cancer, cataracts, fractured teeth, death ... invisibility, super speed, wings, teleportation, mind-reading, laser eyes, crime-fighting, and a spandex-and-cape fetish. I'm just trying to look on the bright side of living in a country where the White House keeps nominating a person who's known for falsifying data to get around water safety regulations to be head of the White House Council of Environmental Quality. I don't drink nothin' but Pepsi, bruh, so I don't care 'bout none of this. I'm gonna have to start working out if I have to wear spandex.
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-15 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-15 Pub. Date: 2018-01-15
Image Number: 167355
Caption: Let's take a moment for a brief interlude, between what was, and what will be. All the days in all the years we've been partnered have been the same, Tyrone. Wake up. Scrounge. Reflect on our dire circumstance but do nothing to change it. And then drift back to sleep. But it occurred to me today, in every story I've ever read, there's been an interlude between the status quo and the big change. I feel interludy. Do you feel interludy? Not even a little bit. (This cartoon was originally published on 2015-12-28).
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-06 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-06 Pub. Date: 2017-12-06
Image Number: 165705
Caption: Of course they gon' kill net neutrality, Big L. So what we won't be able to visit any site we want to online anymore. Nothin' good last forever, bruh. It's like that old Doctor Zeus book said … Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. I don't think Doctor Seuss meant we should apply that to our freedom. Freedom just an illusion, bruh, like parking tickets.
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-05 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-05 Pub. Date: 2017-12-05
Image Number: 165704
Caption: Am I paranoid, doc? I interviewed FCC Chairman Ajit Pai the other day … Dr. Noodle. I asked why he's so bent on killing net neutrality when it's the only thing stopping internet service providers from picking and choosing which websites we see. He said there's no evidence they do that. I said "Yeah, that's because net neutrality rules have forbidden them from doing that." All of a sudden our Skype conversation slowed to a crawl. First we should examine the possibility he was talking in slow motion just to mess with you.
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-02 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-02 Pub. Date: 2017-12-02
Image Number: 165422
Caption: There's a lot of bad news. It's making me a little depressed. C-Dogs Incredibly Bad Advice $2. That one easy, bruh. Ere'time you hear news you don't like, call it "fake." They say someone you like did wrong? Must be fake. They say your car cause pollution? Must be fake. They say you got cancer. Fake fake fake. The ancient Buddhists say reality all in our heads, or some spit like that there. I'll give it a try.
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-22 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-22 Pub. Date: 2017-11-22
Image Number: 165149
Caption: Where do you think we'll be 3,000 years from now, Susan? Do you think we'll even be recognizable as human beings? Will we all have nanites coursing through our bodies repairing any damage and connecting us all to a hive mind? Will we have no bodies at all, and instead be sentient programs we uploaded to the cloud to escape some global catastrophe? Will we still like pizza? Pizza is eternal.
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-19 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-19 Pub. Date: 2017-11-19
Image Number: 164467
Caption: Great-looking hair, made easy. Just dye. We now return to our program. How much time do I have to save the kitten, bring Timmy his inhaler, and defuse the nuclear bomb? You have a lot less time than you did before you started that sentence. We'll be back after these messages ... I'm rally psyched Little Tyrant Pizza's bringing the flavor with its new pecan guacamole dipping sauce! A guy, a beach, a skateboard. A girl bouncing in slow motion. And these corn chips that have nothing to do with any of that. Buy them. Six other commercials that go on so long that you don't remember what show you're watching. Going back to Netflixing everything. And now back to our show ... What were we doing? Defusing something or other, I think.
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-02 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-02 Pub. Date: 2017-11-02
Image Number: 164418
Caption: All this talk about "Mars" is so stupid. We should fix the planet we already have before we go somewhere else. Talk about "stupid." Going to Mars could be the only thing that'll enable us to "fix" earth, because "necessity is the mother of invention." The technologies we develop to keep a Martian colony habitable could be applied here to clean up our own environment ... Um ... I lost you at "talk about stupid," didn't I? I'm warming up to the thought of going to Mars.
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-28 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-28 Pub. Date: 2017-10-28
Image Number: 164152
Caption: I've read that by the time I'm an old man, we may be able to upload our consciousness into the cloud. Do you know what this means, Clyde? It means our generation may be the first to become immortal. We'd also become the first post-human generation. "Cloud-o-Sapiens" doesn't have the same ring to it, though. Wait ... me dyin' someday anyway is what make it easy to not care 'bout nobody opinion of me. Ain't this a blip.
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-30 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-30 Pub. Date: 2017-09-30
Image Number: 163102
Caption: Dear Lemon Brown: Unfortunately, we at Equifax must inform you that hackers breached our security weeks ago. Your social security number, address, credit history, and pants size may have been compromised. It appears the only personal information of yours that wasn't compromised was your signature. To sign up for our credit monitoring service, please sign here.
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-29 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-29 Pub. Date: 2017-09-29
Image Number: 163101
Caption: How 'bout that Chokers game? The Candorville Chokers might go all the way this year. Whachoocare? What do you mean "What do I care?" Haven't you got any civic pride, son? They're our hometown team. They're our boys. They a bunch of grown-!@#$ men runnin' 'round in a circle for millions of dollars. Ain't nary a one of them even from here. That pitcher Fernando Maldonado only speak German. In the winter we play for Cameroon. If you don't like small talk, just say so!
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-28 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-28 Pub. Date: 2017-09-28
Image Number: 163100
Caption: … So anyway, I had to fire an art director, a copywriter, a designer, a production artist and our web designer because of that donkey incident. That's too bad. But you did the right thing … you made the tough decision … "Always do what's best for the donkey," that's my motto. You know, I can tell when you haven't really been listening. What? I was totally listening! Then tell me what happened with the donkey. It's too atrocious for words. Nice try.
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-10 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-10 Pub. Date: 2017-09-10
Image Number: 161858
Caption: My uncle keeps sending me crazy, paranoid conspiracy theories he hears on Youtube. Dr. Noodle. It all started a few years ago when he sent me an email about how the victims of the Hindenburg crash were all crisis actors. These same victims died on the Titanic! He wrote. Then he told me President Obama was setting up Femur Camps, where he'd be letting the Illuminati harvest our femur bones for voodoo incantations to turn all our frogs into insomniacs. When I asked him why on earth would anyone want to do that? he said I had been brainwashed by the cabal that runs both the fake news and the pepperoni industries. So I replied why would they waste their time brainwashing me? What would they gain from that? Does your uncle have a hobby? Get him to refer uncle!!! $$$$$$$ ... because it's possible that you're his hobby. He said they've brainwashed me into thinking there's nothing to gain from brainwashing me.
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-08 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-08 Pub. Date: 2017-09-08
Image Number: 162346
Caption: Dick Fink, come in here for a second, will you? Ok, Ms. Garcia. The CEO called me into his office today to ask why our nemesis, McMahon, Tate, Stephens and Evans, called him for a reference. He was furious. Almost fired me. Apparently someone sent them my resume, and said the best time to call would be 3 a.m. Do you know anything about this? No. But I'll prevaricate ... I mean, investigate ... this thoroughly.
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-31 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-31 Pub. Date: 2017-08-31
Image Number: 162090
Caption: I got into a Twitter feud wit @joanwalsh. @davidshuster asked her and @joyannreid to apologize for using the term "alt left." I backed him up. When they and @govhowarddean used the term against progressives, they helped validate it. And that helps @realdonaldtrump neutralize the toxicity of the term "alt right" ... which makes it harder to fight white supremacy. I think I won. I'm going to give @govhowarddean a piece of my mind too. Are you @trying to @change-the-subject because you're @losing the @argument about @josswhedon's @divorce? It's just @joss. And I'm @changing-the-subject because it's @none-of-our-business.
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-27 our 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-27 Pub. Date: 2017-08-27
Image Number: 161361
Caption: Excuse me, sir, if it's not too much trouble … Hi, Democrats. What can I get you? Coffee Sandwiches? An explanation. We introduced our bold new plan last month: "A Better Deal," but the progressives still aren't impressed. What more could they ask for? We focus-group tested the heck out of the slogan. It was the least objectionable and least un-inspiring of the bunch! It evokes FDR's "New Deal" and LBJ's "Fair Deal" without over-promising. We don't want to risk over-promising. It even sounded progressive! We mentioned tax credits to retrains workers, a $15 minimum wage (eventually), regulating prescription drug prices, and busting monopolies, maybe. We even said we'd think about forming a committee to consider considering sing-payer health care, among many other more corporate-donor-friendly options that aren't single-payer. And we introduced it with an editorial vowing not to expand government or move our party in one direction or another along the political spectrum. Bold! So why didn't that fire up the progressive base? ... Hello?
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