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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2020-01-14 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2020-01-14 Pub. Date: 2020-01-14
Image Number: 181287
Caption: Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Ohmygosh! What? What? Is a Kardashian here? Major scandal. Epic proportions. Infidelity of the highest order. Sadie Cohen has been cheating on Uncle Mort. Can you believe it? Sadie! The very image of perfection revealed as a fraud! She's not the image of perfection. Stick with me. This is for narrative purposes. Oh, fine. No way! But she's so perfect!
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2020-01-11 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2020-01-11 Pub. Date: 2020-01-11
Image Number: 181140
Caption: Day two of my political diet. I haven't watched FOX, or MSNBC. I haven't read the news pages of the paper. Scribble scribble scribble scribble scrib - I also haven't had any sweats, or racing hearts or hives. Write write write write scribble write. So I can probably start watching Hannity again tomorrow! Absolutely not. Doctor's orders!
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-12-22 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-12-22 Pub. Date: 2019-12-22
Image Number: 180882
Caption: One cup of coffee. Sounds like the order of someone who hates her heart, mind and biceps. Why? Is coffee bad for you? But I love it. Fear not. There's some powerful new research you should know about. It's from CARE - Coffee Assessment Research Enterprises. House of Java.net Cybercafe. The research shows coffee helps blood pressure, mental focus, and biceps: The more you order, the more you carry, so it helps muscles. Hold on. I'm skeptical. What exactly is CARE? Who does the research? Who funds it? Full disclosure. It's an industry group that wants to help people who love coffee justify their habits. You do care. Two cups. Smart. Now, check out the latest on fried apple fritters from FAIR.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-12-08 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-12-08 Pub. Date: 2019-12-08
Image Number: 180668
Caption: Sorry we're a few minutes late this week. You're not sorry. You didn't want to come. Huh? You're so confrontational. See what I'm dealing with? You want to order? No. Nothing for me. Just the counseling. You've confused me with someone else. We were at the cafe a couple weeks ago. we really liked your vibe. Much better than the counselors we've tried. Really? The others pestered us with thoughtful questions and insights. Whereas you are a blank slate. Empty. Did we just agree on something? Nice. Same time next week? Sigh.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-11-24 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-11-24 Pub. Date: 2019-11-24
Image Number: 180491
Caption: One cheese omelette, and I've never cheated on my husband. Um, okay. Anything else? A side of hash browns for this one-man woman! And a chocolate as hot and sweet as my intensely singular love for this phenomenal guy. Chuck? Yes dear? I've been having an affair for the last six months. Oh don't act surprised. One scone, and what the @#$% just happened? The denial and snacks before the storm.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-11-03 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-11-03 Pub. Date: 2019-11-03
Image Number: 180124
Caption: Essential conundrum: Until I've had morning coffee, I lack the strength to order or even open my mouth. Get me the intravenous kit.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-08-13 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-08-13 Pub. Date: 2019-08-13
Image Number: 178935
Caption: Wash your hands, flu boy. I'm not sick. You look peaked. I do? You'll be dead by morning!!!!!!! Latte, extra foam. For goodness sakes.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-08-12 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-08-12 Pub. Date: 2019-08-12
Image Number: 178934
Caption: Mumble. What? Mumble. Can't understand your order. Pandemic! Mumble. You're ordering pandemic?
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-07-06 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-07-06 Pub. Date: 2019-07-06
Image Number: 178362
Caption: I'll have a scone, and some answers. Pardon? My husband's infatuated with Biden. He reads all the political blogs and polls, and can't stop talking about the race. How come he no longer looks at me the way he looks at Biden?! Man crush.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-05-26 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-05-26 Pub. Date: 2019-05-26
Image Number: 177780
Caption: One coffee please. Latte? Regular coffee. Menu. Espresso? Au lait? Mocha? Ice blended half-caf? Hazelnut thai treat? Pumpkin rhubarb spiced banana organic beef au gratin mashup latte? Regular coffee. Please, I'm begging … Almost got her. I'll pay extra. One regular coffee. Coming up.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-05-12 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-05-12 Pub. Date: 2019-05-12
Image Number: 177608
Caption: What can I get you today? I'll have a latte and … don't be rude, Jill. Pardon? I'm speaking to my little one. Jill, say hello to this nice man and introduce yourself properly. Hello. Properly. Hand him your card. Jill Johnson, CTO? Chief Toddler Officer. The apocalypse cannot be far off. I wanted Sans-Serif!
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-11 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-11 Pub. Date: 2019-03-11
Image Number: 176736
Caption: What're you doing? Watching tv. On your computer? Sure. There are tons of shows available for streaming over the internet. Let me rephrase. Why aren't you getting me the coffee I ordered?! When this season of Lost is over.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-10 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-10 Pub. Date: 2019-03-10
Image Number: 176439
Caption: Un croissant, s'il vous plait. Not following This does not count. I'm not done. Also deux espresso. For ma belle femme, une omelette avec fromage. No. No. No. No. No. You said you'd take me on a trip. This is just a stupid café! Sweetie, use your imagination. Inhale the scent of French food. Picture quaint architecture. Think of this strange little waiter as a colorful street performer. Practice speaking in the local tongue. Le petit man is quite strange. Leave me out of this! Monsieur, where is your - how do you say? - toilettes?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-08 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-08 Pub. Date: 2018-07-08
Image Number: 172381
Caption: Halt! What? What'd I do? Did you order a non-fat latte? Yeah, so? Then you poured in a heap of half-and-half. Well, I … You're lying to yourself. You fashion yourself a heart-healthy consumer then give in to your debased nutritional habits and tastes. you probably hate big government but like pork projects in your district or favor states' rights but want courts to ban gay marriage at the federal level. What? Coffee habits as prism into a moral hypocrisy!!! Plus, that drink just sounds like it tastes terrible. I absolutely need a huge dollop of sugar.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-08 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-08 Pub. Date: 2018-07-08
Image Number: 172758
Caption: HALT! What? What'd I do? Did you order a non-fat latte? Yeah. So? Then you poured in a heap of half-and half. Well, I - You're lying to protect yourself. You fashion yourself a heart-healthy consumer then give in to your debased nutritional habits and tastes. You probably hate big government but like pork projects in your district or favor states' rights but want courts to ban gay marriage at the federal level. What? COFFEE HABITS AS PRISM INTO MORAL HYPOCRISY!!! Plus, that drink just sounds like it tastes terrible. I absolutely need a huge dollop of sugar.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-18 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-18 Pub. Date: 2018-06-18
Image Number: 172382
Caption: Quadruple shot and four donuts. Are you serious? I'm going to the post office. Oh no. Not again. Yep. And I'm going to set a personal record. I beg you not to do this. Throw in a red bull. I cannot be party to this! To what? Stay tuned for madness …
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-29 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-29 Pub. Date: 2018-05-29
Image Number: 171958
Caption: I did some research. I read the respected New England Journal of Astrophysics, and it looks like you're right … Gamma ray bursts have to come from pretty close by in order to fry all life on earth. So we won't die. Their calculations showed that the worst a gamma ray burst could do is turn us green and make us very, very angry. Might want to doublecheck to make sure you weren't reading their April 1st edition. It's not all bad. They found it may also boost stamina and strength.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-27 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-27 Pub. Date: 2018-05-27
Image Number: 171404
Caption: What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it sounds iffy. Just give me the usual aspartame-trans fat medley.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-04 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-04 Pub. Date: 2018-05-04
Image Number: 171062
Caption: Hey little buddy, the pizza delivery guy's out there in the café looking for you. I told him where I was … please … please tell me you didn't order a pizza and tell them to deliver it to the men's room. Please tell me that. The bathroom is not a sanctuary. Ask him how badly he wants his tip.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-20 order 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-20 Pub. Date: 2018-04-20
Image Number: 170596
Caption: How come when I ordered my coffee, you told me the deep state is out to get our president? Because it is, Randy. Also, all news about dear leader is fake, except for the news that tells you about how all the news is fake. What? What are you doing? Did the boss put you up to this? That's fake news. Did your boss happen to strike a deal with Sinclair Broadcasting? Also, white supremacists aren't all that ba -- Oh, I just can't do it.
     
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