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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about being open and opening.

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (46 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-18 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-18 Pub. Date: 2017-10-18
Image Number: 163917
Caption: I can watch tv anywhere I bet that blows your mind. Why's that, loser? Tap tap tap tap. Because in your day, a televisions was a 5-ton steam-powered machine. You had to crank a handle to make it run … and "running" meant a curtain would open and two old-timey people in the box would act out a silent tv show. Wait ... are you trying to insult me ... or are you getting your history from Youtube again? "Buck-Naked Historian" has 5 million subscribers, so it must be accurate.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-13 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-13 Pub. Date: 2017-10-13
Image Number: 163644
Caption: Go to the History Channel. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you are just pretending to be interested in education programming. There is a 98% probability you will lose interest in less than one minute and change the channel. There is a 2% chance you will fall asleep before then and forget to turn me off. You don't know me! Your webcam tells me your bookcase holds 147 books you have never opened.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-20 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-20 Pub. Date: 2017-08-20
Image Number: 161181
Caption: Get outta here I'm busy! Got outta here I'm busy! Open Mike Night Presents Kids 3-5. Watch what you want! Watch what you want! Got my glock, an' my dollars, got my glock and' my dollars! A got seven baby mamas, I got seven baby mamas! All them (censored) on my (censored). All them (censored) on my (censored). Okay, thank you! Lots of talent here tonight, so let's keep it moving. And parents, pay attention to what your three-year-olds are watching. Okay, who's next?
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-30 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-30 Pub. Date: 2017-07-30
Image Number: 160373
Caption: When mom got sick this day lat year, we knew it weren't the flu. Open Mike Night presents MAGA man. We were just glad that we were here: The land of red … white … blue. Where soon she'd be just right as rain, 'cause we were votin' Trump. Make America Great Again. We knew that soon, there'd be no pain, 'cause 'bamacare'd be dumped. We found out what it was. Cancer ... but guess what, folks, she's fine. I knew Trumpcare would be the answer. "MAGA!" ... he weren't lyin'. I'd like to thank Mr. Trump, the Republican part an' nottobama for saving my momma. Dude ... you still have Obamacare. Obamacare saved your momma. Yeah, right. That's fake news, MAGA! Make it stop.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-12 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-12 Pub. Date: 2017-06-12
Image Number: 159163
Caption: Can I ask you something man-to-man? What's up? Let's say you're delivering your usual enormous campaign contributions to the members of the city zoning board to ensure no potential competitors can open a café within 50 miles of our own. And let's say you realize you've fallen madly in love with one of the cronies you're bribing. Does it violate any sort of guy code to pursue a romance with you own crony? Very long talk ahead.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-07 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-07 Pub. Date: 2017-05-07
Image Number: 157127
Caption: I've traveled back through time to warn: The aliens are here. Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies ... and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain ... the AI ... will arrive ... in 2061. (July 28th to be exact ... that, my crew is a natural fact). I'm warning you this way 'cause it's the only way, you see. For some reason, they get confused by rhymes and poetry. In short, I've come to warn you, evolution's happening. You want your kids to survive it? Teach them how to rap ... pening. That was close. Odd ... my phone lit up for no reason, and then went back to sleep.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-09 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-09 Pub. Date: 2017-04-09
Image Number: 156035
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents the Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm glad.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-24 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-24 Pub. Date: 2017-03-24
Image Number: 155929
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: "Britain." Specifically about how a recent poll shows that nearly half of Britain misses Colonialism. They miss the day when they rounded up natives into camps, massacred them, tortured them into submission, ethnically cleansed whole regions, carved up their lands into arbitrary countries and made them all play cricket. Before I open the line to callers, I'm warning you, there will be a strict limit on the number of "Make Britain Great Again" jokes I will allow.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-22 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-22 Pub. Date: 2017-03-22
Image Number: 155927
Caption: Armstrong told me he's replacing the café's burglar alarm with a string tying the doors and windows to my teeth. It was almost enough to make me quit. "Almost"? Little buddy, if someone opens a door, you could lose all your teeth! Exactly. And then workman's comp would pay for replacement bionic teeth. HOJ. I'm pretty sure that's not how workman's comp wor -- wait ... "bionic teeth"? I just think it'd be cool to be able to chew without moving my jaw.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-20 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-20 Pub. Date: 2017-03-20
Image Number: 155925
Caption: You wanted to see me, boss? Come in, minion. My 13-year contract with Barely Secure Alarm and Donuts is about to expire. I'm tired of paying their exorbitant $7.99 annual fee. From now on, you're going to be the café's alarm system. We'll attach the doors to your eyelids by twine, and if anyone opens a door, you'll know. I'll have to deduct the cost of twine from your check, but I'm sure you can write that off. Very bad man.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-05 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-05 Pub. Date: 2017-03-05
Image Number: 154655
Caption: Who do I speak to if I have a complaint? You meant "with," right? Pardon? If you want to speak "with" someone, that means you're open-minded. It means you'll actually listen to what that person has to say and consider his point of view. I see. And what would "speak to" someone mean? That would mean you're really just interested in hearing yourself talk. Option B sounds quite lovely. In that case, he's not here right now.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-17 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-17 Pub. Date: 2016-11-17
Image Number: 151039
Caption: Boss, I've got a new idea. I think it'll quadruple our sales. Not again. I've come up with several action items that efficiently right-shore unique relationships and globally cloudify timely ideas. Speaking in business jargon doesn't disguise the fact that all your ideas are horrible. But this idea assertively exploits open-source leadership skills. You can assertively exploit that door over there.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-30 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-30 Pub. Date: 2016-10-30
Image Number: 149731
Caption: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-02 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-02 Pub. Date: 2016-10-02
Image Number: 148594
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen in: "The Difference Between Us". You're all half a century younger than me which makes me so very aflutter with glee. YOU think a smartphone makes you a big champ but I saw Muhammad Ali. You think reading tweets lets you know somebody ... but each letter I read was caressed and indented and scented and carried the essence of whoever sent it. I'm trying to wake you from a "life" that's too thin! ... or, barring that, break you. Either way, win-win. Can you repeat that? I was watching Youtube. What's a "letter"?
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-24 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-24 Pub. Date: 2016-06-24
Image Number: 144913
Caption: Today's alpha-lesson is "Become a Vapor." Wherever you are, be it a broom closet or a baseball stadium, carry yourself as if your body fills the entire place. Greet people with you arms out wide. Have a wide stance. A booming laugh. A wide-open smile. Becoming a vapor is the best and most legal way to mark your territory.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-22 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-22 Pub. Date: 2016-05-22
Image Number: 142840
Caption: Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, I have encountered a "close-talker" at work who always stands about five or six inches from my face while talking to me. Unfortunately, this close-talker is my boss. How can I get her to stop doing this without shooting my career in the foot? - Charlotte in Austin. Excellent question. It takes me back. The year was 1938. I spent months tracking down the elusive grizzly bear of the Ozarks. There was no proof he existed. But there were tales told by the campfire of a hapless lumberjack cornered in his tent one night by a ten-foot tall beast. He was awakened by a blood-curdling growl. When he opened his eyes, he was peering deep into the wide-open, razor-fanged yap of the grizzly, just two inches away. The grizzly inhaled and as luck would have it, the lumberjack's enormous beard was sucked into the monster's gaping maw and tickled the roof of its mouth. As the grizzly giggled uncontrollably, the lumberjack made his escape. And what were we talking about? Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-13 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-13 Pub. Date: 2016-03-13
Image Number: 139688
Caption: Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My best friend chews, loudly, with his mouth open. It embarrasses me every time we eat out. I'm afraid if I point it out, it'll ruin our friendship. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can get the point across without hurting his feelings? - Andrea in Anaheim. Excellent question. Here's what you do ... Next time you eat lunch with your friend, bring a newspaper. Every time he chews with his mouth open, roll up the newspaper and swat him on the nose with it. Then say "it works for my poodle." If he laughs instead of pressing charges, you'll know you've got a real friend. *MGMT accepts no responsibility for the possibly horrendous consequences of Sadie Cohen's advice, use at your own risk.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-05 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-05 Pub. Date: 2016-03-05
Image Number: 139847
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 a.m., minion. I try not to wonder. After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7. We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep. Not true. By being closed at 3a.m., we're missing out on the potentially lucrative Igor the Wino clientele. Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon. Very bad man.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-07 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-07 Pub. Date: 2016-02-07
Image Number: 138065
Caption: I'm thinking of open-carrying. Forget it, little buddy. The last thing anyone needs is for you to be running around armed. You don't know the first thing about firearm safety. Who said anything about firearms? I'm talking about open-carrying my iPad. STOP! There's nothing more disgusting than a geek who thinks he's a technology cowboy wearing his gadgets like they're weapons. Stop the madness! What do you think, Randy: Hip holster, thigh holster, or shoulder sling? STOP!!! A real man would just dangle it from his belt.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-28 open 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-28 Pub. Date: 2016-01-28
Image Number: 138316
Caption: I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper. What's that? It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves. I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything. They say if you love your work, you never "work" a day in your life. HOJ. To each his own, I guess. I love everything about shopping. From the seductive "open" sign, to the supple checkout lines.
     
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