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Result page:    2  Next  (34 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-16 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-16 Pub. Date: 2017-10-16
Image Number: 163902
Caption: Do you have any idea how many mass shootings we've had in America this year? In just the first 75 days of the year, we had 273 mass shootings. That's almost one per day. There are more mass shootings than there are days in the baseball season. You know what that means, don't you? It mean mass shootings is America new national pastime. Stop stealing my lines.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-29 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-29 Pub. Date: 2017-09-29
Image Number: 163101
Caption: How 'bout that Chokers game? The Candorville Chokers might go all the way this year. Whachoocare? What do you mean "What do I care?" Haven't you got any civic pride, son? They're our hometown team. They're our boys. They a bunch of grown-!@#$ men runnin' 'round in a circle for millions of dollars. Ain't nary a one of them even from here. That pitcher Fernando Maldonado only speak German. In the winter we play for Cameroon. If you don't like small talk, just say so!
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-27 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-27 Pub. Date: 2017-07-27
Image Number: 160760
Caption: Hey, Lionel, it's daddy! You ready to go home? Everyone hazta go through me. Day Care. What? Who are you, little big man? Themz callz me "Bulldogz." Are you one of Lionel's little friends? Aren't you cute. Anyway, Lionel, let's go home. Dinner's waiting. did you tell my boy to deal with a bully by hiring a 4-year-old bodyguard? No. Ahmz only threeez.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-23 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-23 Pub. Date: 2017-05-23
Image Number: 158341
Caption: Note to self: Call lawyer, ask if he has any experience with charges of treason. What's lawyer got to do … got to do with it … What? What are you doing? Tina Turner. My second favorite singer, after Clay Aiken. She's amazing. I investigated every single one of her concerts. Good times. Wanna see my Tina Turner tattoo? I'm not a Russian spy!! What is this, 1985?! Good year. Tina was in "Mad Max" that year.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-05 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-05 Pub. Date: 2017-03-05
Image Number: 154597
Caption: I just read that Bill Gates is set to become the world's first trillionaire by the year 2042. Which proves this is the greatest country on earth. Where else could one person amass more hundred dollar bills than there are people on earth? You know what I think? I think we should confiscate everything anyone earns over $1 billion and redistribute it. You what? It's only fair, when you think about it. Our billionaires became billionaires by automating and outsourcing and doing all sorts of things that put millions of Americans out of work. Redistributing the excess would give all those people a decent basic income, so they would never have to starve and die just because millionaires wanted to be billionaires. I'm practicing for April Fools. How'd I do? I didn't buy it for a second. Color-blinded.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-11 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-11 Pub. Date: 2016-12-11
Image Number: 151363
Caption: Grandpa's 97th birthday is coming up. I have no idea how to time my gifts for him. Dr. Noodle. What do you mean "time" gifts? One year, I bought him a new set of dominoes, and he hated it. He gave it to the mailman. The next year, my sister bought him the very same set, and he loved it. He brags about it to me all the time. The next year, I bought him a gold pocket watch. He gave that to the pizza delivery guy. My sister gave him the same one the following year and he loves it so much that he's always putting it in my face and asking me what time it is. Maybe we should talk about the concept of "denial." Ok. But after we talk about why I keep picking the right presents in the wrong years.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-01 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-01 Pub. Date: 2016-12-01
Image Number: 151553
Caption: 2016 turned out to be our best year in recorded history. Well … American history, anyway. We still have a ways to go before we match what the German branch did back in the '30s. Fear, Inc. But still … we convinced half the country that savages were either coming to kill them or take their jobs. And we convinced the other half that most of the country is racist and hateful. We also got Kanye West to completely flip out onstage. I'm proud of that one. Fear, Inc.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-04 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-04 Pub. Date: 2016-11-04
Image Number: 150475
Caption: 1982. What do you think life'll be like in, say … 2012? Well if you look at the arc of mankind's progress, it'll be very different. We went from the Wright Brothers to the moon in just 66 years! At this rate, we'll have colonized Alpha Centauri and the Klingons by 2012. Plus, we'll all be rich. Momma says every generation does better than its parents. I'll probably be the first one in my family to ever own a home. Not on Mars, though, that'd just be ghetto. Wow, I can't wait till 2012!
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-27 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-27 Pub. Date: 2016-07-27
Image Number: 146472
Caption: Lionel was reading "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." You know everyone on earth takes that line out of context? Frost is actually expressing regret there. He's torn about it. Just like everyone else, Lionel wrongly though Frost was expressing pride. Nobody ever pays attention to the context of anything anymore. Wait ... your two-year-old is reading Robert Frost?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-04 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-04 Pub. Date: 2016-07-04
Image Number: 145502
Caption: I'm tired of liberals talking about that outspoken gun advocate who used her gun to shoot her own daughters. One little thing she did wrong doesn't change the fact that she was right when she used to say she needed guns to protect her family Are you serious? And I'm tired of libs trying to create some "pattern" from the 30,000 isolated incidents that happen every year.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-18 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-18 Pub. Date: 2016-06-18
Image Number: 144567
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? There's a new Star Trek tv show coming next year. Isn't that a good thing? Star Trek is like a religion to you. Don't you see? When they canceled the first show, I wasn't even born. When they canceled the last show, I was almost thirty. When they cancel this next one, I'll be an old man! So? It happens ... and you, you'll be an old woman, Susan. Never.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-26 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-26 Pub. Date: 2016-05-26
Image Number: 143640
Caption: The National Cartoonists Society is meeting in Memphis right now for the Reuben Awards. The what? It's like the Oscars for the cartooning industry. They give out awards for best comic strip, best animated movie, etc What is it with people? In every single industry there is, you've got people hoping and dreaming for years that one day they'll be handed a rectangle with their names written on it. You're only saying this because you didn't win the Pulitzer this year. Mankind's rectangle fetish is beyond disturbing when you think about it.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-19 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-19 Pub. Date: 2015-10-19
Image Number: 133798
Caption: Do you have any idea how many mass shootings we've had in America this year? According to the Washington Post, in just the first 274 days of the year, we had 294 mass shootings. That's more than one per day. There are more mass shootings than there are days in the baseball season. You know what that means, don't you? It mean mass shootings is America new national pastime. Stop stealing my lines.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-10 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-10 Pub. Date: 2015-07-10
Image Number: 129285
Caption: I've known you were brilliant from the moment I met you, son. I bwilliant fwumma moment you met me. You've always done everything at least a year before you're supposed to. I alwayth done evwything a peath a yeaw befowe I thpth too. Watching you develop is like watching a computer boot up much faster than it ordinarily would. You lotht me on that one.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-30 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-30 Pub. Date: 2015-06-30
Image Number: 129037
Caption: An 11-year-old boy was playing in his yard for 90 minutes after the school bus dropped him off because his parents were stuck in traffic and couldn't get home to let him in. They were thrown in jail, charged with a felony, and their kids were taken away. When you have for-profit prisons, there's a lot of incentive to fill them by any means necessary. I still say if your son's never had a peanut butter sandwich, go ahead and make him one. If he turns out to have an allergy, they'd probably charge me with attempted murder.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-23 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-23 Pub. Date: 2015-04-23
Image Number: 125857
Caption: Dang, bruh American Idol be really, really bad this year. Where they be findin' all these mediocre singers? I can't picture not a one of them bein' on the radio. This is the best they can find in a country of 320 million people? If I were a conspiracy theorist, I'd say it's no coincidence they're getting us used to voting for mediocre talent just as the presidential election season starts. When "Gilligan Island" be on?
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-15 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-15 Pub. Date: 2015-02-15
Image Number: 122416
Caption: This just in: According to scientists, it is not yet 2016. Hold on Yes, ok Sources are telling us that if this turns out to be true, it could have profound implications. Theoretically, it would mean that our leaders could spend this year actually accomplishing things. Wait, I'm being told ... Ok, sources claim it would also mean politicians don't have to demonize people on the other side of the aisle yet. Congress is already weighing in on this stunning development. They've issued a joint statement saying "We're not scientists, so we don't know one way or another if this crazy 'theory' is true." We at the nightly news should stress that the theory is so far unconfirmed. And frankly we're not sure we buy it either.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-09 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-09 Pub. Date: 2014-12-09
Image Number: 119934
Caption: Have I ever told you what happened at a party when my baby boy was just one year old? Lionel saw a huge baby push a smaller baby away from a toy. Lionel toddled over to the huge baby, put his hand on his chest, stared him straight in the eye and the bully hung his head, turned around and gave the toy back to the smaller baby. Lemont, you've been trying to convince me "the force" is real since we were four. I'm just saying. We don't know it's not.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-29 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-29 Pub. Date: 2014-10-29
Image Number: 118203
Caption: Want me to go with you to Comic Con this year, Lemont? You mean "Candor-Con." They're not allowed to call it Comic Con anymore. Comic-Con sued them because the name's too similar. Candorville's Comic Con argued that the names are totally different because the one in San Diego uses a hyphen. I didn't realize geeks were so litigious. The subpoena was written in Klingon.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-23 one year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-23 Pub. Date: 2014-10-23
Image Number: 117917
Caption: I have a two-year-old. How do I make sure he never chooses to fight in our country's endless war? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice. $2. What's that? I wrote your boy a prescription. "Take one six-pack of coke, a bag of Doritos an' a Happy Meal daily." Army fatigues don't come in XXXXL. He'll get diabetes by 18. All treatments have side effects.
     
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