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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

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Result page:     (16 images)


1. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2018-08-06 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-08-06 Pub. Date: 2018-08-06
Image Number: 173445
Caption: Give and Let Die. What are you up to? Crowdfunding healthcare. But I can't decide which projects to back. Survivalstarter. Why you should help me live. $14,580 of $150,000 goal. 124 backers. This one has a compelling storyline and a strong disease brand. Malignant Cowpox is hot right now. But this other one has an amusing video on the absurdity of life and randomness of tragedy. I might throw a few bucks her way. Now, this person has a boring illness and only three backers. I'm not getting on that loser train. Wouldn't it just be simpler if we had Universal Health Care? Look, this one is offering tote bags!
     
2. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2015-10-12 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-10-12 Pub. Date: 2015-10-12
Image Number: 133958
Caption: Obama Apologizes for Bombing of Mayo Clinic. A U.S. AC-130 gunship shelled The Mayo Clinic for over an hour today. Dozens of doctors, patients, and staff were killed. Live: Rochester, Minnesota. Breaking: Mayo Mayhem. The military issued this statement: Sorry about the collateral damage. Our bad. If you can prove it, that is. Many Americans are outraged. This isn't like killing peasants and do-gooders in a foreign country. These are real people! Obama offered an apology. My fellow Americans, I'm deeply sorry for giving you a glimpse of what we put innocent civilians in other countries through every day. This will NOT be tolerated inside our borders.
     
3. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-06-17 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-06-17 Pub. Date: 2013-06-17
Image Number: 98368
Caption: Surveillance Bait. National Security Agency. "We see what you did there." We understand people are angry about our data collection methods. So we're changing the way we do things. Privacy now! Introducing a new company: SPOOKLE. Spookle. Offering everything from a search engine to a lightning fast browser! Upload your adorable cat videos - or calls for a holy war - to SNOOPTUBE! SnoopTube. Sign up for a free spookmail account! Snooptube, that sounds sketch - hey, check out this video of a rapping penguin! Yeah, I don't trust them not to - wow, this browser is really fast! It at first you don't succeed, spy spy again!
     
4. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-01-21 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-01-22 Pub. Date: 2013-01-21
Image Number: 92735
Caption: Lance's Harsh Landing. What if Lance Armstrong's troubles forced him to live like the rest of us? I don't care how fast you can bike up the Pyrenees - How fast can you process customer service calls? I'm sorry, sir, but with your history of drug use, I'm afraid we can't offer you health insurance. Well, without any sponsorships, it looks like you can only afford this used Schwinn fixie. On the bright side, you'll be a total hipster! Guess it's back to just watching Oprah on tv like everybody else ...
     
5. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-06-01 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-06-01 Pub. Date: 2012-06-01
Image Number: 86649
Caption: Slowpoke. The O'Reilly Method. Bill O'Reilly had this to say about law student Sandra Fluke, who testified before Congress about her friend needing birth control for ovarian cysts. So let me get this straight, Ms. Fluke … You want me to give you my hard earned money so you can have sex. Since O'Reilly is so concerned about paying for birth control, we at Slowpoke helpfully offer a cheaper alternative. For just $9.95, you can own an audio-recording of O'Reilly's sexual advances, as found in the harassment lawsuit filed against him by a female employee.* O'Reilly's Juiciest Phone Sex Bits. As ready by Henry Kissinger. Works faster than a cold shower ... Almost instantly! I Vonce received a message Een a cabana een Bali, and ze little brown voman vas amazed at ze size of my penis. You should buy a vibrator and name eet. I can show you how to use eet. Who needs an aspirin between the knees when you have this? ... Den I vould take ze other hand vith ze falafel thing and I'd put it on your ... AAGH! That does it! I'm never shtupping again! WARNING: Money saved on contraception may be offset by money spent on therapy. * www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/o reilly.
     
6. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-30 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-30 Pub. Date: 2011-10-30
Image Number: 89002
Caption: Slowpoke. Red White & Blue Light Special. Instead of, say, taxing billionaires, the U.S. is considering selling off government assets to raise money. Here's a peek at items to be offered. Fracking rights to Mt. Rushmore. Gerald Ford's mysteriously-awesome record collection. Ohio Players. Property of Jerry F. Com Funk Shun. Found in the White House basement. Who knew the former prez like to go to Funkytown? Pentagon rented out for private parties. Hallways ideal for roller derbies. Presidential sperm bank. Have a baby with real Commander-in-Chief DNA.
     
7. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-09-19 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-09-19 Pub. Date: 2011-09-19
Image Number: 89295
Caption: Slowpoke. LADIES! Come on down to … Unplanned Parenthood. Pregnancy Centers, GOP-Style. Pregnant Teen? We've got … So you had a happy accident! Helpful Pamphlets. Coupons for maternity-sized prom dresses. Free lollipops! Sexual Assault Victim? Let our counselors help! Eggs fertilized by a rapist's sperm are people too! You were probably showing a little thigh, weren't you? We don't provide cervical screening ... But we DO offer Lesbian Screening! Do you find Rachel Maddow hot? I ... I kinda DO! And don't forget to check out our store! We've got books .. The Rhythm Method Cookbook. Recipes for Enormous Families. And emergency contra-contraception - if you've taken Plan B but changed your mind! Plan C.
     
8. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-01-01 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-01-01 Pub. Date: 2011-01-01
Image Number: 86600
Caption: Slowpoke. Need an abortion in South Dakota? Thanks to a new law, you'll have to get anti-abortion counseling first. You DO realize that at nine weeks, a fetus is fully capable of filing taxes and solving quadratic equations, don't you? BABY YES! Coming soon: More conservative counseling! Before you buy a fuel-efficient car: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I know gas is high, but you must realize that real men have a big carbon footprint! At the health food store: Before you buy that brown rice and tofu, I should advise you that there's a McDonalds across the street offering lovely All-American Big Macs. Kelp Krunchies. Spelt Zings. When you get a passport: But why would you WANT to leave the greatest nation on Earth, even for a week?
     
9. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-01-01 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-01-01 Pub. Date: 2011-01-01
Image Number: 86645
Caption: Slowpoke. GOP Presidential hopeful Ron Paul recently offered his idea for helping those without health insurance. Neighbors and friends and churches will do it for us! Yes, there's nothing a church bake sale can't fix! Our Lady of Infinite Confection Church of God. "The Lord works in delectable ways." Why do we need a national health care plan when our neighbors can simply pitch in? I came to this city for my job, and then got laid off. Now my community is the cast of "Boardwalk Empire." I wonder if they'll chip in for my surgery. It's life as it should be: Survival of those with the most Facebook friends! Hey everyone, please contribute to my new Kickstarter project, "Dave's bone marrow transplant." If you cough up $1000 for my hip replacement! WARNING: May lead to mutually-assured destitution.
     
10. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-05-10 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-05-10 Pub. Date: 2010-05-10
Image Number: 90118
Caption: Slowpoke. Lots of public service ads use scare tactics to discourage teen pregnancy. We at Slowpoke suggest a positive approach … Welcome, everyone, to the first annual THANK-A-CONDOM FEST! With me is Jim E. Hatt, who will accept the honors on behalf of all prophylactics! Hi, kids! Thanks! Speakers would share inspirational stories ... I'm about to graduate from college std-and-baby-free, and I owe everything to Mr. Hatt and his rubbery ilk! Aw, shucks! An award would be given ... Without you, my night with that hot piece of Italian beefcake would not have been possible. Please accept this golden booty for all your hard work. Just doing my job. ... Followed by a keynote address. As one of our great forecondoms once said, ask not what protection your partner can offer you ... But what you can offer your partner! Thanks!
     
11. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-08-03 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-08-03 Pub. Date: 2009-08-03
Image Number: 90704
Caption: Slowpoke. Hey, outdoor adventure hounds! Don’t head into the woods without this season's HOT COLORS from … Mr. P's Wilderness Wear Wagon. You simply must own our expedition shirt in HOPI BLUE.* Ideally paired with a CAROB AND CILANTRO* waterproof shell. *Actual colors from a real catalog. Drooly here is sporting a pair of cargo shorts in a lovely shade of BIODEGRADEABLE TP. They make me feel like a sustainable woman! Also for ladies, we offer a variety of moisture-wicking tees. Mung Bean. Pine Nut. Heirloom Tomato. Banana Slug. But men, fear not! We have hues for you sensibilities too! From ECO-DUDE TM. The Cap-And-Trade Cap. Travel shirt in biodiesel. The Igneous Series TM. Cinder Cone. Lava Bulge. Plus - Active underwear in tentpole gray!
     
12. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-04-13 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-04-13 Pub. Date: 2009-04-13
Image Number: 91011
Caption: Slowpoke. Small Business Meets The Virtual Vortex. In the beginning, you did your work, and it was good. 4-course meals on a stick. A dozen by noon? You got it. Then you needed a website. Ta-da! 4-course-meals-on-a-stick.com. But that wasn't enough. You needed a blog. This week I'm offering two meals on a stick for the price of one! PUBLISH! Blogger. Next, you needed to join social networking sites to point people to your blog. New blog post about my big sale! http://tinyurl.com/ctd9dq. Then - how to find new friends to follow your social networking feeds? Join UBERFRIENDER, of course! Add uberfriend? Yes. No. With web 2.0 getting so crowded, a new site allows you to post "PLORKS" linking only to your most important updates. Don't miss my tweet from 11:27 today! Plorker. Eventually ... Wait a minute ... I forget what I do for a living!! Meanwhile, in a spacecraft hovering above Earth: HA HA! The humans will soon cease all productive activity and then we can invade!
     
13. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-01-01 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-01-01 Pub. Date: 2009-01-01
Image Number: 86639
Caption: Slowpoke. Did you know 3/4 of people who go bankrupt from medical bills had health insurance? Don’t let your plan stiff you … … Get HEALTH INSURANCE INSURANCE! Attractive salesladies are standing by! Blue Cross Blue Shield! tm. How can I help you? Actual customer testimonial: I used to get panic attacks worrying about losing my coverage. Now that my insurance is insured, I can relax! Actually, we exclude panic attacks. You do? ... But we can offer you HEALTH INSURANCE INSURANCE INSURANCE! Attractive salesladies are standing by! Press 1 for health insurance insurance, 2 for health insurance insurance insurance, 3 for health insurance insurance insurance insurance, 4 for ...
     
14. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-01-01 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-01-01 Pub. Date: 2009-01-01
Image Number: 86642
Caption: Slowpoke. Teabagger Ironies. Their biggest fears about health care reform are already happening. Bureaucrats will decide who gets care and who is left to DIE! No. WellNexus tm. Health Insurance. De-nied! Stamp. They despise "big government" but had no problem with Bush as an all-powerful "unitary executive." Wiretap all you want, but DON'T TREAD ON ME by offering me a competing insurance plan! They claim to care about saving taxpayers money while fighting a bill that would save everyone money. I don't get this "stealth tax" idea about runaway health care costs. Waste of money can only come form th' guv'mint! Skritch! Skritch! They talk about "individual empowerment" but would leave the self-employed individual powerless. WellNexus tm. Health Insurance. Your application has been DENIED due to your pre-existing condition of existing. Should've gotten a salaried job with bennies!
     
15. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-05-12 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-05-15 Pub. Date: 2008-05-12
Image Number: 91236
Caption: Slowpoke. The prevailing trend in business is paying nothing for online content. The Nothington Post. Ad Revenue. Pay contributors to our site? How very web 1.0! Meanwhile, oil is hitting record prices. Barrel of dead dinosaurs: $110. What if this were reversed? Oil barons struggle for survival. Gasoline only 15 cents a gallon! Well, I cant pay for it, but I'll give it some exposure in my weed whacker! ... While cartoonists are treated like Saudi royalty. $5,000 per strip! That is my final offer! Solid gold drawing board. Rare octopus ink. PLEASE! You must drop the price, or you will destroy the global economy! Government policy would be written my cartoon industry lobbyists. I've got some cartoon content for your campaign, Senator, if you'll support renaming Reagan National as B. Kliban National Airport! Right away, sir! And I want tax breaks for word balloons while you're at it!
     
16. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2007-01-01 offer 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2007-01-01 Pub. Date: 2007-01-01
Image Number: 92339
Caption: Slowpoke. Drooly Julie's Culture Corner. Welcome to "The Lust Lab," the pave to find those with the grind on their mind! Today's topic is REPUBLICAN SEX SCANDALS! First caller, you're on the air. ON AIR. Hi, Drooly! So what's up with all these closeted Republicans who oppose gay marriage? They're trying to protect hot, closeted boffing, of course! The Democrats would usher in an age of boring, married, Norman Rockwell boinking! Next caller! Love the show, Drooly! How about that Bernie Kerik? You mean Rudy Giuliani's Chief of Police and business partner who used an apartment donated for ground zero rescue workers as his own personal nookie nest? the crucial question is: Did Kerik give his mistress mustache rides? Rudy could lose the female vote if he didn't! Bernie's Love Lair! Also, don't forget Bob Allen of Florida who offered a cop a BJ, or Senator David Vitter, who had a thing for whores! So ... Is there anything they Haven't done? I don't think they've been caught at a Trekkie convention in a Klingon circle jerk ... But I'm sure they'll have that covered by next week!
     
Result page:     (16 images)