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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-09-19 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-09-19 Pub. Date: 2017-09-19
Image Number: 163073
Caption: Off to Afghanistan. How do you feel? Like a campaign worker. US.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-04-12 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-12 Pub. Date: 2017-04-12
Image Number: 156933
Caption: In Other News, Steve Bannon Removed from Air Force One. Security.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-12 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-12 Pub. Date: 2017-03-12
Image Number: 155828
Caption: Wall Street Toasts Trump's Firing of Prosecutor Preet Bharara. Gentlemen, let's make Wall Street great again! The lid's off … Wall Street.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-18 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-18 Pub. Date: 2017-02-18
Image Number: 154792
Caption: The Manchurian Candidate. Have you seen the Red Queen yet, Mike? Note: Telescreen does not shut off. Flynn, Mike.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-12-06 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-12-06 Pub. Date: 2016-12-06
Image Number: 152020
Caption: Get Ready! Ok, you birds! Better enjoy the free handout while you can. Come January there's gonna be a new crowd in. NO more spongin' off the government. No more free anything. Bird seed. Gas.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-27 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-27 Pub. Date: 2016-08-27
Image Number: 148088
Caption: Democracy. Well, we're off to vote! International. Trump. Kean.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-18 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-18 Pub. Date: 2016-08-18
Image Number: 147585
Caption: Mr. Giuliani Out in Front of a Car Wash Near You There were no terror attacks until Obama became president There were no terror attacks Off switch.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-07 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-07 Pub. Date: 2016-08-07
Image Number: 147283
Caption: Obviously this is all the fault of the unfair press H
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-06-23 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-06-23 Pub. Date: 2016-06-23
Image Number: 146007
Caption: Back in the sack race. Right then, love, off we go. Europa.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-04-12 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-04-12 Pub. Date: 2016-04-12
Image Number: 142026
Caption: Candidate Kasich. Cleveland. 2016.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-02-23 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-02-23 Pub. Date: 2016-02-23
Image Number: 139757
Caption: The Brothers Bush. What did I tell you? Smirk! Smirk your ass off! But did you listen? Noooooo! Not you and you see what happened. W. Jeb! Jeb! Jeb!
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-11-15 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-11-15 Pub. Date: 2015-11-15
Image Number: 135484
Caption: Liz Cheney Decides to Run (Again) for Congress. Well, I'm off to fulfill the Cheney Destiny. You wanna li'l quick one f'th' road? What? Oh Yes Well good luck, dear. She's gone you can come over now. Remember, we never tortured anyone, an' if we did it was Bush's fault ... Office of the Vice President. Liz!
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-11-04 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-11-04 Pub. Date: 2015-11-04
Image Number: 134931
Caption: British Worry About Sending Military to Syria. Of course I blame the Americans for not finding this blighter Assad and dropping a bomb on his head. Don't be daft woman, obviously it was Tony Blair, keeping his Shiite sympathies a well-guarded secret. Don't any of you read the Daily Mail? I blame the Russians. Bloody Communists always doing the dirty, innit? I blame my second husband. Well, I'm off then ... Royal Moat Cleaners. Keep Calm and Have a Drink. Rupert. Horror horror horror etc.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-07-17 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-07-17 Pub. Date: 2015-07-17
Image Number: 130081
Caption: Texas is ready for any attempt by US forces to take guns or some sorta lib'rel stuff, you know .... Lone Star Laundromat Whacko, Texas. Ah'l bloy yer dayum head off. Whut? You spotten 'em comin' 'cross the border? From Oklahoma? Yup! Obama is comin'! But they ain't getting in here! Not unless they got some quarters!
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-06-10 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-06-10 Pub. Date: 2015-06-10
Image Number: 128239
Caption: Justice Roberts and the Obamacare Case. What? It's about the Obamacare case I thought Republicans wanted me to kill Obamacare Heh, yes, well, um you see If millions of people on Obamacare get thrown off they might blame us So? So then they'd vote against us. Good Lord. But if you could uphold Obamacare ... Then Republicans wouldn't blame us ... They'd ... um ... blame you ... Which would be better.
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-05-13 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-05-13 Pub. Date: 2015-05-13
Image Number: 127353
Caption: Our Boys at War - Then and Now. Then. ... grab what sleep you can on the hard cold ground ... breakfast is coffee and a c-ration biscuit ... a long miserable march to the front ... incoming fire! Charge! Now. Sorry I'm late. I had to drop the kids off for preschool. No problem. Drone Command. People on the other side of the world to kill today.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-04-20 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-04-20 Pub. Date: 2015-04-20
Image Number: 126761
Caption: The Trans Pacific Partnership. Shake! China.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-03-24 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-03-24 Pub. Date: 2015-03-24
Image Number: 124795
Caption: We're Still Talking Race at Starbucks. So who do like for the third exacta at Aqueduct? Racing form. Parimutual. Expensive. Very expensive. Crazy expensive. Nutsoflex.
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-12-17 off 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-12-17 Pub. Date: 2014-12-17
Image Number: 121638
Caption: Rubles as fuel. Russian Economy. How about all those pictures of Putin with his shirt off? They''ll burn.
     
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