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Rudy Park

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Result page:    2  3  4  5  Next  (84 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-11 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-11 Pub. Date: 2017-10-11
Image Number: 163642
Caption: Today's alpha-lesson is called "Always Jujutsu the Suspense." If someone says "I've got a great idea" and then pauses to create suspense, that's a power-move. They want you to beg them to continue. The alpha counter-move in this case is simple. Use the suspense-monger's suspense against them: say absolutely nothing.* *This move should never ever be applied in the boudoir.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-06 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-06 Pub. Date: 2017-10-06
Image Number: 163386
Caption: Do you remember your early childhood, Randy? Of course, little buddy. I come from a long line of Randies who have photographic memories. It's an evolutionary trait that enabled early Randies to survive despite being connoisseurs of the female form. "Evolution"? Doesn't that mean some of them didn't make it? Overly long stares lead to nothing but trouble.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-05 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-05 Pub. Date: 2017-10-05
Image Number: 163385
Caption: Do you remember your early childhood, Randy? Of course, little buddy. I come from a long line of Randies who have photographic memories. It's an evolutionary trait that enabled early Randies to survive despite being connoisseurs of the female form. "Evolution"? Doesn't that mean some of them didn't make it? Overly long stares lead to nothing but trouble.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-01 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-01 Pub. Date: 2017-10-01
Image Number: 162744
Caption: Ask Sadie. Our resident surly lass answers actual reader questions sent to rudy@rudypark.com. Dear Sadie, My husband forgot my birthday. There was no cake, no trip, no party, no nice little gift, no card, no "happy birthday" whispered in my ear … NOTHING. How do I let him know how deeply that hurt me? - Hurt in Harford. Excellent question. It reminds me of the time I hunted down a wild boar in the Serengeti in 1951. Decades earlier, when I was but a young lass, nobody remembered my birthday, or so I thought. that night, dear old Grandmother Cohen surprised me with a loaf of bread topped with a flaming licorice stick. Just as I blew out the licorice, it happened: A young wild boar came out of nowhere, darted across our shack, grabbed my loaf in its slobbery may and escaped into the dark, stormy night. I tracked that boar for twenty years across seven continents before I finally caught him. Speaking of which, it's time for my daily ham sandwich. Anyway, what were we talking about? Ask Sadie, baby!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-10 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-10 Pub. Date: 2017-09-10
Image Number: 161928
Caption: My uncle keeps sending me crazy, paranoid conspiracy theories he hears on Youtube. Dr. Noodle. It all started a few years ago when he sent me an email about how the victims of the Hindenburg crash were all crisis actors. These same victims died on the Titanic! He wrote. Then he told me President Obama was setting up Femur Camps, where he'd be letting the Illuminati harvest our femur bones for voodoo incantations to turn all our frogs into insomniacs. When I asked him why on earth would anyone want to do that? he said I had been brainwashed by the cabal that runs both the fake news and the pepperoni industries. So I replied why would they waste their time brainwashing me? What would they gain from that? Does your uncle have a hobby? Get him to refer uncle!!! $$$$$$$ ... because it's possible that you're his hobby. He said they've brainwashed me into thinking there's nothing to gain from brainwashing me.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-28 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-28 Pub. Date: 2017-08-28
Image Number: 162099
Caption: Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast. We settled out of court for a pair of Bee Gees tickets.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-14 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-14 Pub. Date: 2017-08-14
Image Number: 161543
Caption: If there were one place on earth you'd never visit, where would that be, Randy? Easy: That would be McMurdo Station, Antarctica, little buddy. Nothing encourages hot snuggling more than being marooned in an icy wasteland. That would be a total waste of my skills of seduction. No challenge. I'd never visit the Mariana Trench. People don't live anywhere near there, and it's the deepest spot in the ocean ... so there'd be no wifi and not even satellite internet could reach it. We should have our own travel show.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-04 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-04 Pub. Date: 2017-08-04
Image Number: 161040
Caption: Don't be alarmed. I'm not falling for it, loser. You can't make Sadie Cohen worry about nothing by uttering three dumb words. It's probably nothing. Those three won't work either! Nobody panic. Two words won't work either! Munch mun -
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-21 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-21 Pub. Date: 2017-07-21
Image Number: 160523
Caption: Armstrong, did you feel that earthquake a few minutes ago? I felt nothing, minion. I haven't felt an earthquake since I was a small child. Probably because of the full-body money-clip I've carried ever since then. The wads of bills layered about my body serve to absorb vibrational and impact forces. I once fell out of a fourth-story window and didn't even notice it. The one percent are different from you and me.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-17 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-17 Pub. Date: 2017-07-17
Image Number: 160519
Caption: This Russia story is one big nothing burger. Tap tap tap tap tap. Stop it I hate that phrase. That's because you're just a big hate-burger. And in any case, stop yapping. I'm tired of listening to your word-burgers. Stop it or I'll pound you into ground loser-burger. Your threat-burgers don't impress-burger me.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-04 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-04 Pub. Date: 2017-07-04
Image Number: 159992
Caption: This is Dr. Sadie. What's your question, caller? How can I tell if my cold is really bronchitis? Stop yer sniveling. In my day, a body would hope it was bronchitis. It gave you a chance to prove your grit! Nothing like a touch of burning pain, wheezing, and crackling in the chest to separate the women from the girls. What kind of doctor are you, again?
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-02 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-02 Pub. Date: 2017-06-02
Image Number: 158616
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? I'm -- Don't pussyfoot around the issue. Get to the point! I don't have all day! I'm -- GET ON WITH IT, ALREADY! Next caller. You're on. What's your problem? Um … Nothing. I'm good.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-31 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-31 Pub. Date: 2017-05-31
Image Number: 158614
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! I'm thinking of moving to Canada. Nothing in this country ever goes my way. We have no national health insurance, no gun control, no high-speed moose network … Go to Canada, then! Who needs you, you whiner? America's national pastime is complaining. If you don't want to stay and enjoy the game, who needs you?! I've never been into sports.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-20 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-20 Pub. Date: 2017-05-20
Image Number: 158093
Caption: On today's Ask Sadie Radio Hour, we discuss one topic: The constant flirtation with fleeing to Canada. Canada has universal health insurance, far fewer killings, much less bigotry, more social mobility, better schools, less obesity, 50 weeks' maternity leave, blah blah blah. But that means nothing, because you know what they don't have? Panicky media telling you who to blame for the sky falling! We'll be back, after this message from Depends undergarments.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-19 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-19 Pub. Date: 2017-05-19
Image Number: 158092
Caption: Where's my nephew? I haven't seen Rudy in days. He's running an errand for Armstrong. I'm not supposed to say. You're not supposed to say what? Exactly. You're not supposed to say "exactly"? … or vaguely. Well … you do realize you just said both "exactly" and "vaguely." No I didn't. I said nothing. You did not say "nothing.: I'd have noticed.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-17 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-17 Pub. Date: 2017-05-17
Image Number: 158090
Caption: I hear you're sending Rudy to a clandestine meeting with Russian agents for the purpose of coordinating the blackmailing of the American president. What?! I am not! What ever gave you such an outlandish idea? I overheard Rudy asking Siri "How do I say 'hello' in Russian?" That proves nothing. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'my boss wants your boss to blackmail our president' in Russian?" That could mean anything. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'that means exactly what it sounds like it means' in Russian?"
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-13 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-13 Pub. Date: 2017-05-13
Image Number: 157824
Caption: Any news on that star that might have a Dyson sphere around it? Nothing new. I mean, they discovered the star's probably been dimming ever since 1890, which could lend credence to the notion an alien race has been building a Dyson sphere. By they discovered that a few months ago. There's been nothing since then, so ... whatever. Must be nothing there. They should do a study to see how long it takes your attention span to dim. What? Why? What're we talking about?
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-12 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-12 Pub. Date: 2017-04-12
Image Number: 156748
Caption: Is that a … um … never mind. Forget I said anything. What? Nothing. It must've just been a trick of the light. Or maybe a stray hair. It certainly couldn't be the faint imprint of a wrinkle beside you eyes. My life is over. On the bright side, maybe a web of wrinkles lining your face will make you look less dopey.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-29 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-29 Pub. Date: 2017-03-29
Image Number: 156205
Caption: I heard the world has entered the sixth great extinction. So what?! Well, I was just thinking maybe you should go on tv and share your wisdom. Tell us all how you survived the last great extinction. You've got nothing to worry about. 65 million years ago, an asteroid wiped out almost all the majestic life on earth ... but the apocalypse didn't bother with the tiny wimpy protomonkeys. So you'll be fine. Tell us how the mean-o-sauruses survived.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-26 nothing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-26 Pub. Date: 2017-02-26
Image Number: 154365
Caption: Hi Darlene. Was that me you were waving at? Yes. Step half an inch closer, Rudy. This is a courtesy reminder of our upcoming midlife crisis appointment. Our what? I have you booked for "mad passionate fling with someone my friends and family would disapprove of," for March of this year through February of 2018. We start next month. That's enough time for you to firm your chest and arms up to a semi-acceptable level of near-manliness. It's also enough time for you to tattoo-up. I just emailed you an autocad blueprint with the designs and the specific locations on your body where they're to be scrawled ... and then she gave me a list of sweet nothings to whisper to her. My advice is to be very indignant about all this, beginning after February of 2018.
     
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