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Candorville

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-16 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-16 Pub. Date: 2017-10-16
Image Number: 163902
Caption: Do you have any idea how many mass shootings we've had in America this year? In just the first 75 days of the year, we had 273 mass shootings. That's almost one per day. There are more mass shootings than there are days in the baseball season. You know what that means, don't you? It mean mass shootings is America new national pastime. Stop stealing my lines.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-13 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-13 Pub. Date: 2017-10-13
Image Number: 163632
Caption: Rosencrantz, do you believe every exit is an entrance to somewhere new? I once believed such a thing, until I encountered a revolving doorway and realized it was possible for me to both exit and enter the same place at once. My eyes were suddenly opened to the thought that opposites are the same. Entering, exiting ... action, inaction ... Forgetting your companion's birthday and remembering it ... I'm still hurt, Tyrone.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-26 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-26 Pub. Date: 2017-09-26
Image Number: 163098
Caption: Did you hear me on the radio today, Clyde? The whole world heard you, Big L. You said eretime anyone mentions the new Star Trek show Discovery … and army of mindless drones reply "The Orville look more like Star Trek than Star Trek do." Yeah, but I was making a larger point about how the internet encourages groupthink. You just mad the group don't think like you.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-23 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-23 Pub. Date: 2017-09-23
Image Number: 162853
Caption: If I promise to get you a new book tomorrow, will you go to sleep? Ith that a bwibe? Awe we cowooding? What do you mean "are we colluding?" Where did you hear language like that? Are you listening at my door while I'm watching the news again? You know you're not supposed to do that. If you'we impeached, do I become the new daddy? Go ... to ... sleep.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-16 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-16 Pub. Date: 2017-09-16
Image Number: 162602
Caption: Everyone goes through this at one time or another, Lemont. It's important not to worry about what other people think of you, if you know you're doing the right thing. It's important to get to a place of self-confidence. Self-assurance. Peace. Whatever. I still think your new "get your 10th psychosis treated free" punchcards make you look tacky. And yet I'm at peace with that.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-27 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-27 Pub. Date: 2017-08-27
Image Number: 161361
Caption: Excuse me, sir, if it's not too much trouble … Hi, Democrats. What can I get you? Coffee Sandwiches? An explanation. We introduced our bold new plan last month: "A Better Deal," but the progressives still aren't impressed. What more could they ask for? We focus-group tested the heck out of the slogan. It was the least objectionable and least un-inspiring of the bunch! It evokes FDR's "New Deal" and LBJ's "Fair Deal" without over-promising. We don't want to risk over-promising. It even sounded progressive! We mentioned tax credits to retrains workers, a $15 minimum wage (eventually), regulating prescription drug prices, and busting monopolies, maybe. We even said we'd think about forming a committee to consider considering sing-payer health care, among many other more corporate-donor-friendly options that aren't single-payer. And we introduced it with an editorial vowing not to expand government or move our party in one direction or another along the political spectrum. Bold! So why didn't that fire up the progressive base? ... Hello?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-21 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-21 Pub. Date: 2017-08-21
Image Number: 161800
Caption: You remember that racist KKK/Nazi/White-supremacist rally in Charlottesville? 'Course, bruh. I think I may have really touched all those people I usually argue with online. Ever since that terrorist rally, every time I write that there's nothing wrong with having lots of women and minorities on the new Star Trek show, not a single person has dismissed me as a "cuck" or a "beta" or a "virtue-signaller" or a "social justice warrior." You think maybe because of Charlottesville, all the social injustice warriors have had an awakening? Nah, they probably just on vacation, like Congress.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-15 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-15 Pub. Date: 2017-08-15
Image Number: 161532
Caption: Guess what? My iPhone 7 just started slowing down. Just a month or so before the iPhone 8 comes out. Remember when my iPhone 6 started slowing down? That was just about a month or so before the iphone 7 came out. You know … Apple lawyers can hear erethang you sayin' through Siri, bruh. *I am not necessarily implying any trickery or intentional wrongdoing on the part of Apple. I wasn't never here.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-16 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-16 Pub. Date: 2017-07-16
Image Number: 159772
Caption: Cool shirt. You gonna watch the new Star Trek tv show? No way! It's a horrible show and it's going to fail! What? Why? All the angriest people on the internet agree with me. It looks to much like J.J. Abrams' J.J. - Trek nonsense … It's a scam to distract from CBS suing fan film creators ... O ... K ... it looks too advanced to be a prequel, the bridge is on the bottom of the saucer and not the top, the Klingons look stupid ... O ... K ... I guess I can ... There are too many minorities on it ... it's on CBS All Access instead of on broadcast or Netflix ... Wait ... What?! I shouldn't have to pay $6 month and watch it where they want me to watch it. They should give it to me how I want it! Didn't you just get all racist for a second? It should be free. It shouldn't force "diversity" down my throat. I should be able to see it on the channel I want to see it on. There! Right there! You just did it again!
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-11 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-11 Pub. Date: 2017-07-11
Image Number: 160220
Caption: Meanwhile, on Divided Airlines flight 86 out of Moscow … Excuse me, please. Aren't you American journalist? Yes, I am. How's you know? Fearless leader told me … I mean, I recognize you from tv. You say me debate Sean Hannity? No. I once saw Trump press conference. You asked him why would KKK support him so much. Then we have goon pick you up by underpants and hurl you out window. Divided Airlines. Thanks. It took me a year to successfully repress that memory. You welcome. Was big thing in Russia. I bought t-shirt with freeze-frame of it.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-23 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-23 Pub. Date: 2017-06-23
Image Number: 159392
Caption: This just in … Russia has persuaded its ally, the Dictator Santa Claus, to call for a ceasefire. In response, rebel elves have released their hostages and … Click … If passes, millions stand to lose their health insurance. Click … White supremacist activity is on the rise. A years-old report about how they were planning to infiltrate law enforcement is getting ... Click ... Won't you be my neighbor? It's Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, a land of make-believe ...
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-03 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-03 Pub. Date: 2017-04-03
Image Number: 156465
Caption: So what if you can't get a mortgage to buy a house? If you really want to move to Canada, why not just rent? Because I've live in the same tiny $600 rent-controlled apartment my whole adult life, I've saved every month for decades, and I haven't bought a new computer since 2003. I've done all this so that one day I could afford to buy a house and have something to leave my son. Spending fifty billion dollars a month on rent might make that a little hard to do. You're exaggerating ... a little.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-30 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-30 Pub. Date: 2017-03-30
Image Number: 156200
Caption: I'm coming out with a new book, Clyde. It's called "I Have Over 1,000 Facebook Friends and Only 50 of Them Bought My Latest Book … I have 257,000 Twitter Followers, and Only 5,000 of Them Bought My Latest Book … and I Have One Allegedly Close Friend Sitting Right Next to Me and He's Never Bought Any of My Books." That's 'cause you titles be way too long, bruh. Colorblind Ed.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-07 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-07 Pub. Date: 2017-03-07
Image Number: 155380
Caption: Did you see Trump's address to Congress last week? Nah, bruh. Did you catch the "Gilligan's Island" marathon on channel 32 last night? . I don't watch broadcast tv. I only watch Netflix and Hulu. You wanna catch a movie? Watched them all off bittorrent for free already, bruh. You get Kanye new album? I only download songs I like and make my own playlists. Read any good books? C-Dog only read tweets.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-25 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-25 Pub. Date: 2017-02-25
Image Number: 154806
Caption: That astronomer Neil Degrasse Tyson admitted he was wrong about those deflated footballs the Patriots used two years ago. That's proof that the so-called "global warming" thing is a big fat hoax. You're saying that if someone's wrong about one thing. They must have been wrong about anything they've ever said? Hypothetically. I wouldn't know, since I've never been wrong. The Jungle.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-08 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-08 Pub. Date: 2017-02-08
Image Number: 154239
Caption: There's a new Star Track tv show coming. Want to come over and watch it with me once it's on the air? Wait … What? You hate Star Trek. What happened to "Lemont, all they do is stand around in their pajamas and talk for 45 minutes"? The other day, I told you the lady I'm seeing watches Star Trek with me over Skype. Does this have anything to do with that? Don't be silly. I've just developed a real appreciation for Star Track recently. "Trek."
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-05 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-05 Pub. Date: 2017-02-05
Image Number: 153474
Caption: Larry Wilcox ain't happy 'bout that new Chips movie, dawg. Larry who? Larry Wilcox, bruh. Can't believe you ain't remember "Jon" from Chips. Ponch & Jon, bruh, you know. Anyway … I saw the trailer, I laughed, ain't gonna lie. But then I checked his Facebook, like I often do. You do? Often? He pointed out this ain't nothin' like the show he was on. The one we watched when we was kids. An' he right. An' it got me thinkin' about all these reboots. Why they always takin' serious shows an' rebooting them as comedies? Why can't they go the other direction? I think I speak for us all when I say I wanna see a dark, gritty remake of Mr. Belvedere. I'm not sure "us all" means what you think it means.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-23 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-23 Pub. Date: 2017-01-23
Image Number: 153701
Caption: I sense the tides have shifted, Rosencrantz. The pendulum has reversed its swing. A page has been turned. A new character has entered stage left. And nothing will ever, ever be the same. The tale has been sent down a fateful path, which ends either in exaltation or oblivion, we know not which. Oh ... wait ... perchance I just have gas. Served you right for stealing my week-old sandwich.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-22 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-22 Pub. Date: 2017-01-22
Image Number: 152909
Caption: I'm so over 2017. Dr. Noodle. I was looking forward to it, but now it can't end too soon for me. I thought it was going to be like old times. I thought I'd get to see what she could do. With her talent and strength, there was so much she could have accomplished. Instead, we're left with a lot less light and a lot more darkness. Now who's going to save the republic from that spoiled little angry, narcissistic baby-man? I miss Carrie Fisher too. General Leia Organa was our only hope.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-04 new 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-04 Pub. Date: 2017-01-04
Image Number: 152857
Caption: I need some new pants. Want to come shopping? I'll pretend you ain't asked me that, Big L. Bruthas don't "shop" together. That's what women do. What, you need me to tell you if them jeans make you look fat? You need me to tell you how pretty you is? Get outta here with that #$%@. Clyde, a man who's secure in his own sexuality isn't afraid to go shopping with another man. I'll pretend you ain't said "sexuality" to me.
     
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