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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about New Years.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-16 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-16 Pub. Date: 2017-10-16
Image Number: 163902
Caption: Do you have any idea how many mass shootings we've had in America this year? In just the first 75 days of the year, we had 273 mass shootings. That's almost one per day. There are more mass shootings than there are days in the baseball season. You know what that means, don't you? It mean mass shootings is America new national pastime. Stop stealing my lines.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-23 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-23 Pub. Date: 2017-06-23
Image Number: 159392
Caption: This just in … Russia has persuaded its ally, the Dictator Santa Claus, to call for a ceasefire. In response, rebel elves have released their hostages and … Click … If passes, millions stand to lose their health insurance. Click … White supremacist activity is on the rise. A years-old report about how they were planning to infiltrate law enforcement is getting ... Click ... Won't you be my neighbor? It's Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, a land of make-believe ...
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-25 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-25 Pub. Date: 2017-02-25
Image Number: 154806
Caption: That astronomer Neil Degrasse Tyson admitted he was wrong about those deflated footballs the Patriots used two years ago. That's proof that the so-called "global warming" thing is a big fat hoax. You're saying that if someone's wrong about one thing. They must have been wrong about anything they've ever said? Hypothetically. I wouldn't know, since I've never been wrong. The Jungle.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-22 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-22 Pub. Date: 2017-01-22
Image Number: 152909
Caption: I'm so over 2017. Dr. Noodle. I was looking forward to it, but now it can't end too soon for me. I thought it was going to be like old times. I thought I'd get to see what she could do. With her talent and strength, there was so much she could have accomplished. Instead, we're left with a lot less light and a lot more darkness. Now who's going to save the republic from that spoiled little angry, narcissistic baby-man? I miss Carrie Fisher too. General Leia Organa was our only hope.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-01 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-01 Pub. Date: 2017-01-01
Image Number: 152168
Caption: Well ... the Great Author in the Sky has given us another year, brotha. What're you gonna do with it? Are you gonna be a more humble person? Are you going to try and figure out why you're here -- what you're supposed to accomplish? Are you going to shed yourself of anyone and anything in your life that doesn't help you fulfill your purpose on earth? Are you going to use every day as a chance to become who you're meant to be? I'ma take a nap. (Sigh) I guess some people are meant to be couches.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-11 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-11 Pub. Date: 2016-12-11
Image Number: 151363
Caption: Grandpa's 97th birthday is coming up. I have no idea how to time my gifts for him. Dr. Noodle. What do you mean "time" gifts? One year, I bought him a new set of dominoes, and he hated it. He gave it to the mailman. The next year, my sister bought him the very same set, and he loved it. He brags about it to me all the time. The next year, I bought him a gold pocket watch. He gave that to the pizza delivery guy. My sister gave him the same one the following year and he loves it so much that he's always putting it in my face and asking me what time it is. Maybe we should talk about the concept of "denial." Ok. But after we talk about why I keep picking the right presents in the wrong years.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-08 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-08 Pub. Date: 2016-12-08
Image Number: 151816
Caption: Three years ago. I had a date last night, but all I could think of was getting back home to tuck in my boy. What's wrong with me, Susan? My mom was a single parent, and I always wished I had my dad, too. Shouldn't I be trying to find a new mom for my son? What are you doing for the next 18 or so years? WASHING MY HAIR!!!
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-18 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-18 Pub. Date: 2016-06-18
Image Number: 144567
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? There's a new Star Trek tv show coming next year. Isn't that a good thing? Star Trek is like a religion to you. Don't you see? When they canceled the first show, I wasn't even born. When they canceled the last show, I was almost thirty. When they cancel this next one, I'll be an old man! So? It happens ... and you, you'll be an old woman, Susan. Never.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-07 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-07 Pub. Date: 2015-11-07
Image Number: 134726
Caption: Processing … Processing … Installing software update that'll consume so many system resources that your two-year-old phone will slow to a crawl and you'll have no choice but to upgrade to the new phone. What was that? Um … I mean … "processing … " (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-10-01).
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-19 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-19 Pub. Date: 2015-10-19
Image Number: 133798
Caption: Do you have any idea how many mass shootings we've had in America this year? According to the Washington Post, in just the first 274 days of the year, we had 294 mass shootings. That's more than one per day. There are more mass shootings than there are days in the baseball season. You know what that means, don't you? It mean mass shootings is America new national pastime. Stop stealing my lines.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-20 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-20 Pub. Date: 2015-09-20
Image Number: 132207
Caption: Kelly texted me again the other day. I hadn't heard from her in two years. I thought I'd never hear from her again. What did she want? To see if I was still madly in love with her. She wanted to see if I would still be willing to run away with her and start a new life, no matter the consequences. She wanted to see if her voice was still the air I breathe, and if I still saw moonlight when I gazed into her eyes. She said all that? Not in so many words. She just said "hi," but I knew what she meant. I'm going to schedule you for some extra sessions. I think I'm over her, doc. I didn't answer her at all, for five whole minutes.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-14 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-14 Pub. Date: 2015-06-14
Image Number: 127781
Caption: Nobody could've known, back in 2003, that invading Iraq would be a bad idea. What're you talking about? Millions of people knew it. Millions of us. Millions of us said the reasons the Bush administration gave for invading sounded like flimsy nonsense. Not having WMDs was Saddam's plot to embarrass us. Daily Nutjob. Obama wet bed as child, covered it up. Goodnight Grandpa. Millions of us said it would cause a lot of unnecessary death, totally wreck the balance of power, cost us money we couldn't afford, create new enemies, and be a huge unmitigated disaster. It was entirely possible to know. Millions of us knew. General: Iraq would be stable if we had occupied it for only 75 more years. Well, nobody knew the people who knew were right to know what they knew. You know? No. ISIS destroys ancient ruins, erect statue of founding father Dick Cheney.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-07 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-07 Pub. Date: 2015-01-07
Image Number: 121078
Caption: We're several different people, Clyde. Say what? When I was a kid, I hated wheat bread. When I was a teen, I hated jazz. When I was 25, I hated "Star Trek: Enterprise." Now I love all that stuff. I'm not the same person I was 30, 20 or even 10 years ago. You need me to get you a new ID? I know a guy.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-05 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-05 Pub. Date: 2015-01-05
Image Number: 121076
Caption: What's your New Year's resolution, Lemont? To stop answering personal questions. We've gotten too used to answering personal questions. "What's your address?" "What's your phone number?" "What's your Social Security number?" We fill out "fun" surveys online, without even thinking about who's collating our answers and why. In fact, forget I said all that. My New Year's resolution is none of your business. Dios mio.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-22 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-22 Pub. Date: 2014-09-22
Image Number: 116761
Caption: Zombiac … Truman speaking. Hi, Truman, it's Lemont Brown. I was in a couple years ago. I brought you a new iMac and asked you to take out its guts and squeeze them into my beautiful old 2004 iMac's chassis. Well it just died, Truman. If I bring it in, you will fix it free of charge, right? Sir, do you still have a copy of the warranty I gave you? I thought I did, but I just have a paper with "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha" written over and over in tiny print. No, that's the one.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-11 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-11 Pub. Date: 2014-08-11
Image Number: 114925
Caption: I had a date last night, but all I could think of was getting back home to tuck in my boy. What's wrong with me, Susan? My mom was a single parent, and I always wished I had my dad, too. Shouldn’t I be trying to find a new mom for my son? What are YOU doing for the next 18 years or so? WASHING MY HAIR!!!
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-13 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-13 Pub. Date: 2014-07-13
Image Number: 113038
Caption: Do you remember those five black and latin brothas from New York who was put in jail for assaulting a lady they never met? They sat in jail for years for that 'cause the NYPD was so sure it had to be some brown kids that they didn't bother lookin' no further. The city just had to pay those brothas $40 million 'cause of the injustice of it all. $40 million! Can you beleedat, Big L? They only one thing that would make this story better ... If somebody would pay the lady that got attacked $40 million, too. Who are you and what have you done with the real Clyde? They could also pay me $2 mil for havin' to watch it all on tv back when it happened.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-10 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-10 Pub. Date: 2014-01-10
Image Number: 105923
Caption: Remember the New Year's party? Yeah, I do. That means I'm getting old, Susan. When we were in college, New Year's parties were really wild. Cops had to be called. Everyone drank way too much to remember anything. It was really rowdy. … Theoretically speaking. You didn't do any of that stuff, Lemont. Not technically. But I was the same age as people who did, so it's like I did.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-08 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-08 Pub. Date: 2014-01-08
Image Number: 105921
Caption: You know how I resolved to be nice to strangers? THAT didn't last long. Some fool asked me "Nice day, isn't it?" That's my pet pea. What kinda corny-$%@ question is that? It's "my pet peeve," Clyde. Yours too? What? What?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-06 New Year 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-06 Pub. Date: 2014-01-06
Image Number: 105919
Caption: 2015 gonna be a busy year, Big L. I resolve to wake up earlier, hit the gym e'reday, be nice to strangers … Thug 4 Life. … Get outta debt, start goin' to the dentist, an' really get it all together. It's 2014, Clyde, not 2015. I know. This year I gotta rest up for all that.
     
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