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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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Result page:     (16 images)


1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-07-10 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-07-10 Pub. Date: 2017-07-10
Image Number: 160451
Caption: Assad, after nearly half a million killed, agrees to a cease-fire. Cease-fire ... That doesn't mean cease-gas does it? No. Gas. Made in Russia.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-07-09 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-07-09 Pub. Date: 2017-07-09
Image Number: 160406
Caption: Donald Trump Jr Was Lured by Russian Agents' Promise of Hillary Clinton Dirt. He negotiated? He wanted a Happy Meal, too. Find McDonald's near Trump Tower.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-07-05 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-07-05 Pub. Date: 2017-07-05
Image Number: 160198
Caption: The North Korean Situation. As you can see, gentlemen, the splooshes are getting closer. North Korea. Sploosh. Sploosh. Sploosh. Sploosh. Sploosh. Sploosh.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-18 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-18 Pub. Date: 2016-08-18
Image Number: 147585
Caption: Mr. Giuliani Out in Front of a Car Wash Near You There were no terror attacks until Obama became president There were no terror attacks Off switch.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-02-24 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-02-24 Pub. Date: 2016-02-24
Image Number: 139810
Caption: Raoul Castro Will See Obama, but Fidel Won't. Designated Cigar Smoker. That bastard Nixon don't let him near me. Uh ok. Hotel Moscow. Fidel. Ron.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-09-14 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-09-14 Pub. Date: 2014-09-14
Image Number: 116645
Caption: Palin Family Fights Its Way Our of Snowmobile Club Brawl. Amazingly no video available. Left to right more or less, Todd, nearly vice-president Sarah, Pistol, Jello, Flack, and at top, that turkey guy. (Missing, John McCain). Arctic Cat. Yamaha. Kawasaki. Polaris. $ Mom. Kilroy was here. Ed's Snow Machines. Ski-Doo.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-10-30 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-10-31 Pub. Date: 2013-10-30
Image Number: 103469
Caption: Celebrations at Bar Near Fenway. We won! We're winners again! What's the matter? Good God ... I feel like a Yankee fan. Left to right: Shawn from Dawchestih, Maureen from Southy, Valerie from Riveah, Tawmy from JP, Mary Margarit from Cape Cawd, and the Micawthy brothiz from n'Hampshih, not from heah.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-01-29 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-01-30 Pub. Date: 2013-01-29
Image Number: 92980
Caption: Straight Express. To nearest GOP office. Bienvenidos amigos a los estados unidos! McCain.
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-11-20 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-11-20 Pub. Date: 2012-11-20
Image Number: 90269
Caption: New Tasty Treats to Replace the Lost Twinkies! New Stinkies! Just like the Twinkies that never went bad, except these have no preservatives so they go bad almost immediately. Contains sugar, and some sort of yellow moldable compound. Corn may be involved. Sugar flavored. Stinkies. Cream-filled extrusion. Real organic odors. No preservatives! For that natural smell. Stinkies. Contains sugar, yellow material. Wink-winks and Nudge-Nudges! Wow, it's a Little Debbie all growed up. Wink-winks are pure white. Nudge-nudges are sort of fudge colored. A social lesson in each pack. Made of sugar colored sugar and brown colored sugar. Say no more. Wink-winks. Nudge-nudges. No more Ho-ho's these days. New Uh-Ohs! Dad gets laid off down at the mud mine the last thing he wants in his lunch box is a snack that laughs at him. Tasty cupcakes that say - hey, loser, we understand. And they taste that way, too. Uh-ohs. Great for Kids! Little Dippie Mini Donutz. Named after Little Debbie's not-so-bright sister, the who - well, never mind. Sugary snack globs covered with sugar, with a rich sugar taste that will remind you of sugar. And note the new funny spelling! You'll go nutty for donutz. Little Dippie. Direct from New York! Don-Dons! Inspired by the famous real estate and television personality. Don-Dons are topped with shredded cocoanut. Pigeons love 'em! Don-Dons. Formerly Ding-Dongs. Cocoanut topping. Wonder Stuff. Handy around the house 12 ways! Soaks up spills. Replace oil filters. Keep loose patio tiles in place. Temporary tooth filling. Stops drafts under doors. Start charcoal fires. Stop charcoal fires. Real bread taste! Real bread shade! And that old favorite Wonder Bread (crossed out) stuff. More nutritious that a roll of paper towels, and more absorbent! Baked using natural materials fairly near a field of wheat.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-13 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-13 Pub. Date: 2011-11-13
Image Number: 73111
Caption: Chinese Industry and Chinese Government Working Together. It's nearly Christmas. Better give the workers a little something extra. Be Happy in Your Work. Or Else.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-09-27 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-09-27 Pub. Date: 2011-09-27
Image Number: 66174
Caption: Koch Brothers Worth Nearly Twice As Much Now as When Obama Elected ($25 Billion Each - Forbes List). Ask how much your country can do for you. And how little you can do in return.
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-04-20 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-04-21 Pub. Date: 2011-04-20
Image Number: 60058
Caption: Look, mom, there's the first lady.
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2010-10-12 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-10-12 Pub. Date: 2010-10-12
Image Number: 53117
Caption: Meanwhile, trapped in cave-in somewhere near Washington. We're fine, Mr. President, we're all fine No No Don't try to rescue us No Emphasize that! You wanna come over for Thanksgiving? Let me get back to you on that.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2010-08-26 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-08-26 Pub. Date: 2010-08-26
Image Number: 51349
Caption: Free hot dog. If you have anything new or intelligent to say about the mosque near Ground Zero. Ed's franks. $2.00. You may already be a wiener.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2010-07-13 near 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-07-13 Pub. Date: 2010-07-13
Image Number: 50491
Caption: Having Trouble Getting a Call Through with Your New IPHONE 4? Well, you can try holding it out in front of you with two fingers. Hello, ma? Or holding it over your head with your hand on your heart. Ma! Can you hear me? Or holding it near and open window. Can you hear me now? Of holding it over your heart with your hand over your head. How about now? Or wrapping it in duct tape. Wait a minutes, ma ... Or wrapping yourself in duct tape ... Hello? Or, if all else fails, and the call absolutely has to get there ... Ma? It's me. You need anything? Milk, butter, eggs? Telephone. Watson! Come here, I want you. AGB.
     
Result page:     (16 images)