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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-17 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-17 Pub. Date: 2017-10-17
Image Number: 164071
Caption: Mike Pence Spots Some People Kneeling! Oh, Dear! But dear! They might be praying! Praying for what? Puerto Rico? We can't take that chance!
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-06 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-06 Pub. Date: 2017-10-06
Image Number: 163578
Caption: The Croupier. Place your bets … NRA. Live. Die. Wounded. Disabled. Your age at death. 9 15 21 35 51 62 71. Stay round. Accident. Police shooting. Insanity.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-05 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-05 Pub. Date: 2017-10-05
Image Number: 163557
Caption: Just Keep Your Head Down. For god's sake, congressman, a bunch of people killed, a bunch more wounded, so what … we've been through worse than this before … I'll be a little late, dear. NRA.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-09-28 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-09-28 Pub. Date: 2017-09-28
Image Number: 163285
Caption: Mom! He called me a song of a bitch! Censored. He's just quoting the president.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-09-25 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-09-25 Pub. Date: 2017-09-25
Image Number: 163251
Caption: The Bomb. Do not overinflate.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-06-14 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-06-14 Pub. Date: 2017-06-14
Image Number: 159332
Caption: Did Jared Set Up Back Channel to Russians? Knock & give password. Forgot password? Hmm … Backski doorski. No menus. Were you followed? Deals.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-05-30 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-05-30 Pub. Date: 2017-05-30
Image Number: 158784
Caption: Jared and Vladimir. It's a little tricky, Vladimir, my father-in-law gave me a top secret clearance. No problem, Jared, he gave me one, too.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-04-12 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-12 Pub. Date: 2017-04-12
Image Number: 156933
Caption: In Other News, Steve Bannon Removed from Air Force One. Security.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-04-08 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-08 Pub. Date: 2017-04-08
Image Number: 156903
Caption: Jared Kushner in Charge of Lots of Stuff. War. Hey, it's gonna be great working with you, Jarry … benefitting from your wealth of experience. And you went to Harvard. Well, well … Say, my old friend went to Harvard. Ever know him? Henry Kissinger? Mom. H.
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-20 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-20 Pub. Date: 2017-03-20
Image Number: 156126
Caption: Know your enemy. Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis explains that global warming is a national security issue. Flooding and desertification which leads to … poverty and destabilization which leads to … starvation and want which leads to … War. Trump: More arms - bombs - planes - walls.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-26 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-26 Pub. Date: 2017-02-26
Image Number: 155229
Caption: Mr. Trump Swaps War Stories with General McMaster and General Mattis. I'll never forget when New York Military Academy was attacked by St. Hepzibah's Academy for Girls. The enemy came at me! Fearlessly I grabbed her by …
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-25 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-25 Pub. Date: 2017-02-25
Image Number: 155228
Caption: Jeff Sessions - National Sex Checker in Chief. Girls.
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-23 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-23 Pub. Date: 2017-02-23
Image Number: 154986
Caption: National Guard Troops May Be Used to Round Up Aliens. Never thought I'd be doing this in the guard … We're just following orders.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-18 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-18 Pub. Date: 2017-02-18
Image Number: 154792
Caption: The Manchurian Candidate. Have you seen the Red Queen yet, Mike? Note: Telescreen does not shut off. Flynn, Mike.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-17 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-17 Pub. Date: 2017-02-17
Image Number: 154720
Caption: Auntie Em! Auntie Em! I know nothing! You are not locked in.
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-16 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-16 Pub. Date: 2017-02-16
Image Number: 154707
Caption: General Flynn's Job Said To Be in Jeopardy. Heil! Maybe Stephen Miller has the right idea … It worked for Goebbels. Who?
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-01-31 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-01-31 Pub. Date: 2017-01-31
Image Number: 154141
Caption: Mr. Trump and Mr. Bannon on National Security. What d'ya think, Steve? Terrorist …
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-01-21 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-01-21 Pub. Date: 2017-01-21
Image Number: 153859
Caption: Suicide is Painless. Thank you for calling the National Suicide Hotline. All our counselors are busy helping other Americans. Your waiting time is approximately three years …
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-12-03 national 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-12-03 Pub. Date: 2016-12-03
Image Number: 151954
Caption: For flag burners - loss of citizenship or year in jail! Eh … it's made in China.
     
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