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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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Result page:    2  Next  (33 images)


1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-09-28 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-09-28 Pub. Date: 2017-09-28
Image Number: 163285
Caption: Mom! He called me a song of a bitch! Censored. He's just quoting the president.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-04-30 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-30 Pub. Date: 2017-04-30
Image Number: 157723
Caption: Ivanka Clothes Being Rebranded by Chinese Manufacturer. Now, ladies, we can't use my name anymore, so we* are all going to have to work harder. *actually you … Mao says: Serve the rich people.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-01-10 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-01-10 Pub. Date: 2017-01-10
Image Number: 153292
Caption: Julian Assange Calls. Julian! Buddy! My man! You still in the Ecuadorian embassy? Hey! Do you a favor? Just name it! Can I talk to the prime minister to get you out of there? You bet. Not a problem, pal. Done! For you, anything! You just pack up your stuff and walk out the front door. And if anyone tries to stop you, punch 'em in the face. I guarantee it. What are friends for? Attention! Julian Assange escapes! May be armed and dangerous. Shoot on sight. Yes. What are friends for?
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-05-06 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-05-06 Pub. Date: 2016-05-06
Image Number: 143185
Caption: Trump and Ryan. Insults, name-calling, etc. Presidential. Speakeritial.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-09-01 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-09-01 Pub. Date: 2015-09-01
Image Number: 132045
Caption: Alaska's Mt. McKinley Renamed. McCain Palin. ? Juneau What's goin' on? Klondike Well Drillers. Of all the nerve! That's it! I'm never climbing that mountain again! Poor old Fred McKinley Den Ali? $
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-08-12 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-08-12 Pub. Date: 2015-08-12
Image Number: 131219
Caption: Megyn Kelly Getting Death Threats Over at Fox News. Look at this, Mr. Ailes, another death threat! And Roger you spelled my name wrong. Megan, Leave Trump alone or die.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-06-24 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-06-24 Pub. Date: 2015-06-24
Image Number: 129240
Caption: The Suth. Ah figger if the president kin use the N-word, ah kin too. Yew got a future in Suthen politics, bubba. Suth Clina.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-05-07 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-05-07 Pub. Date: 2015-05-07
Image Number: 127350
Caption: Things Looking Doubtful for the House of Assad. You think you've won? You just wait 'til my friend Vladimir Putin hears about this! Hello! You've reached the office of Vladimir Putin. Your call is very important to us, but all our operators are busy helping other murdering bastards. So if you leave your name someone will get back to you, one of these days, some day, sooner or later ....
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-03-14 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-03-14 Pub. Date: 2015-03-14
Image Number: 124461
Caption: Recently Retrieved Yoga Positions on Hillary Clinton's Personal Phone. The Downward Peeking Dog or the Modified Chappaqua. The Flying Mortal Triangle or Who Whacked Vince? The Boat or Floating Down Whitewater. The Cat-Cow Position or the Benghazi Hairball. Clinton 2016. The Caucus Twist or Aid to Iowa Farmers, Yes! The Bird of Paradise or Biden Who? The Reverse Logic or Next Question. The Secret Phone Call or My Name is Hillary and I'll Be Your Server.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-02-26 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-02-26 Pub. Date: 2015-02-26
Image Number: 123617
Caption: My name is Benjamin Netanyahu. I am an Israeli. But I caucus with the Republicans.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-10-01 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-10-01 Pub. Date: 2014-10-01
Image Number: 117281
Caption: New Waiter from Beijing. New Hong Kong. My name is Xi Jinping. Please listen carefully because our menu has changed No MSG?
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-06-19 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-06-19 Pub. Date: 2014-06-19
Image Number: 113029
Caption: Proposed Name Change. Washington Blackjack Dealer. Property of Washington Redskins.
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-05-11 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-05-11 Pub. Date: 2014-05-11
Image Number: 111421
Caption: Major IPO Planned on Chinese Telecom e-Commerce Giant Named Alibaba. Alibaba. The Forty Thieves. Wall Street. Made in China.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-03-27 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-03-27 Pub. Date: 2014-03-27
Image Number: 109679
Caption: Court Says College Football Players May Be Able to Unionize. Just so youse knows, if the talks fail we may have to strike in solidarity with the Philosophy Department. Da Yoonyon. Unfair to your name here.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-01-13 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-01-13 Pub. Date: 2014-01-13
Image Number: 106380
Caption: Bob Gates Gets Some Early Advice from His Publishers. Now remember your audience out there. You have to take some shots at the president, call everyone at the White House names, re-write some history, get all Reagan-happy. We need something shocking to get through the aluminum foil! Barely and Hanginon Publishers.
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-10-30 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-10-31 Pub. Date: 2013-10-30
Image Number: 103469
Caption: Celebrations at Bar Near Fenway. We won! We're winners again! What's the matter? Good God ... I feel like a Yankee fan. Left to right: Shawn from Dawchestih, Maureen from Southy, Valerie from Riveah, Tawmy from JP, Mary Margarit from Cape Cawd, and the Micawthy brothiz from n'Hampshih, not from heah.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-10-31 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-10-31 Pub. Date: 2013-10-31
Image Number: 103668
Caption: The New Rhino. The Far Right.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-09-21 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-09-21 Pub. Date: 2013-09-21
Image Number: 102082
Caption: Some Catholics Want the Old Pope Back. You gotta come back! Theesa new guy. Heesa give away the store! Alla the rules? Outa the window. Leesseena to thees: The church gonna be a home for all! What? Thees eesa crazy talk! So you come back! Put back the rules! Kick-a some assa! Take-a some names!
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-08-28 name 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-08-28 Pub. Date: 2013-08-28
Image Number: 101041
Caption: Trump University. 2014 course catalogue. Look! Faculty meeting. Classes - schmasses. Send in the money - you're a graduate! Ba-boom! Selection of Courses for the Upcoming Year. "These courses are really great. The university is great. It's all really, really great!" President D. Trump. Whoopee 101 - How to Pickup Young Stuff Even if You're Old and Fat and Full of Crap. Hairdressing 401 - That Windblown Look. Prerequisite - Hair. Architecture 102 - Frank Lloyd Wright "Y'Fie-ed!" Psychology 207 - How to Lose Your Friends and Arouse the Animosity of Strangers. Literature 105 - From B. Traven to D. Trump. History 505 - From A. Lincoln to D. Trump. BUSINESS SCHOOL. Business Management - The Enterprises of D. Trump - How to Succeed in Hotel Management, Airline Management, Casino Management, Apparel Design and Sales, Cosmetics, Wine, Perfume, Politics, and let's see, what else? Oh, yes, Higher Education. MEDICAL SCHOOL. Special Courses - Ivanaectomy, Marlaectomy, Melaniaectomy (TBA). Attn: Admissions Office: yes! Sign me up. My check is enclosed. Please send diploma to Name (blank). Address (blank). (Include self-addressed stamped envelope.)
     
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