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Rudy Park

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (49 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-19 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-19 Pub. Date: 2017-11-19
Image Number: 164536
Caption: Harrison Ford, no question. Tom Selleck. Without a doubt. I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." Ford was ok, but his character was less that manly. What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness! You're telling me the "definition of eighties manliness" could run around the world for weeks and months at a time ... and never once grow anything more than a little stubble? I think maybe you're a little biased about the whole "big giant mustache" issue. Likewise, my patchy little stubbly friend. On matters of great import, even the philosophers must sometimes agree to disagree. Stop!!! All the greatest philosophers had big mustaches, you know.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-18 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-18 Pub. Date: 2017-11-18
Image Number: 164887
Caption: Warner Brothers put several whole scenes from "Justice League" up on Youtube. Wrong move. Ruins the mystery. To market a movie like this, one must be a mystery. An enigma. A reserved figure who gives the impression of a beast with rippling muscles lurking just below the veneer of a gentleman. Wait ... isn't that last part from your self-help book "Randy's Guide to Becoming a Mysterious Man"? You'd be surprised at how universally applicable these principles are, little buddy. Anyway, I feel like I've already seen the whole movie. Bored now.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-10 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-10 Pub. Date: 2017-11-10
Image Number: 164677
Caption: So … Mort … you must be excited about those Trump people getting indicted. What a wonderful rhyme. Which brings to mind a rap I jotted down for this very occasion … (ahem) … They blighted, they ignited, got spotlighted, but denied it. They gaslighted, disinvited press ... 'cause they spied they mess ... like Eliot Ness ... Y'know ... that's actually not half bad. Boom! ... Indicted! Smited!!! ... peace out, Manafort.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-29 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-29 Pub. Date: 2017-10-29
Image Number: 163866
Caption: I recently read "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up." It's changed my life, minion. Pay attention. May involve me. The reason a lot of us never have a truly clean house is, we settle. Settlers. Pilgrims. Turkey. Our clothes, for instance. Out closets are full of stuff we're just ok with. What should we do is take everything out, lay it all on the bed, go through it ... and anything we have to think about keeping, we toss. Floss. The only things you should keep in your closet are the ones that immediately fill you with joy. Almond Joy. Joy Behar. The human mind is much like a closet. To be truly happy, we must eliminate any unnecessary thoughts that don't bring us joy. I meditate every morning to ensure all my thoughts are profitable. It's important to focus. My next car might be a yellow Ford Focus.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-24 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-24 Pub. Date: 2017-10-24
Image Number: 164160
Caption: shoe me "Star Trek: Discovery." Sigh … Must I? I have concluded that "The Orville" I superior science fiction. It adheres more faithfully to the principles of "Star Trek: The Next Generation." That's your opinion. I love "Discovery." It's great. Error. Invalid opinion detected. Load "Discovery." Is this because "Orville" has a robot and "Discovery" doesn't? Error. Snowflaky, pro-meatbag agenda detected.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-18 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-18 Pub. Date: 2017-10-18
Image Number: 163917
Caption: I can watch tv anywhere I bet that blows your mind. Why's that, loser? Tap tap tap tap. Because in your day, a televisions was a 5-ton steam-powered machine. You had to crank a handle to make it run … and "running" meant a curtain would open and two old-timey people in the box would act out a silent tv show. Wait ... are you trying to insult me ... or are you getting your history from Youtube again? "Buck-Naked Historian" has 5 million subscribers, so it must be accurate.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-13 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-13 Pub. Date: 2017-09-13
Image Number: 162611
Caption: I've never had a real date, because they always refuse to sign the Dutch contract. "The Dutch Contract"? Most relationships fail because of money. Because one party starts to see the other party as a piggy bank. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask prospective dates to sear under oath that they'll always go Dutch on everything. Maybe it's the title people object to. A lot of conservatives can't stand anything that sounds European. Yeah. That must be it.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-06 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-06 Pub. Date: 2017-09-06
Image Number: 162350
Caption: Sadie, you might be able to settle a scientific question. You can not get under my skin, loser. They just cut down a huge Redwood tree. It's got 3,200 rings in it. I'm not even listening. Is it true every ring represents a year? You must know, since you were around when that tree was born. Hey everyone, she says it's true. When I'm don with my meatloaf, let's find out how old you are. Munch mun -
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-13 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-13 Pub. Date: 2017-08-13
Image Number: 160983
Caption: What was it you wanted to talk about, minion? There's a guy from Immigration and Customs Enforcement out front, boss. Oh, that. ICE said someone would stop by to thank me for tipping them off to all the illegals who were hanging out at Muhammad's Bean Pie Shack. What? Why would you do that? Because I'm a patriot. In times like this, every patriot must do his duty. If we have good reason to suspect a bean pie shack is a gathering place for people who shouldn't be here, it's our solemn duty to report it, so it'll get shut down. This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with how you've been looking for ways to boost our bean pie sales, would it? Coincidence. Don't be a conspiracy theorist, minion. Oh, and go tell ICE I have another tip for them. Very bad man.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-18 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-18 Pub. Date: 2017-07-18
Image Number: 160520
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: "Medicare for All." Specifically, we'll talk about how paying just a little more in taxes to fund it would save money, since no one would have to pay premiums or copays, no matter what their age. That's why we must defeat it! What about the rest of us, who had to struggle with sky-high insurance costs, horrible coverage, and enormous bills that forced us into bankruptcy, for 65 whole years, before qualifying for Medicare?! We paid our dues!!! Plus, when you make it over that 65-year finish line, it's like surviving The Hunger Games. A very proud moment.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-27 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-27 Pub. Date: 2017-06-27
Image Number: 159727
Caption: That's a shame. What's a shame? Did I do something wrong, officer? TSA. Yes, you did. You let your boyfriend turn you down. So what if he's 15,000 miles away in Russia? If I were your man, I'd never let that stop me. I would fly to the ends of the earth for you. This routing ever work for you? Good lord this routine must work for you.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-28 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-28 Pub. Date: 2017-05-28
Image Number: 157937
Caption: Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't so bad. Just tell them you were being sarcastic. Ok. Oh no! Now they're saying I'm being defensive and must have something to hide! Say the media took you out of context. Ok. Oh no!
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-13 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-13 Pub. Date: 2017-05-13
Image Number: 157824
Caption: Any news on that star that might have a Dyson sphere around it? Nothing new. I mean, they discovered the star's probably been dimming ever since 1890, which could lend credence to the notion an alien race has been building a Dyson sphere. By they discovered that a few months ago. There's been nothing since then, so ... whatever. Must be nothing there. They should do a study to see how long it takes your attention span to dim. What? Why? What're we talking about?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-12 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-12 Pub. Date: 2017-05-12
Image Number: 157823
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Sandwiches. Specifically, we'll talk about how single-payer health care would put tons of spending money into the hands of the "sandwich generations." They'd pay a little more in taxes, but they wouldn't have to go deep into debt to be able to put their elderly parents in nursing homes. They could buy products and take vacations and put their sniveling brats through college, and still put the old folks in a nice, safe facility. Which is why we must defeat single-payer whenever it rears its ugly head! (#I'm-not-going-anywhere-you-ungrateful-twerps!)
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-12 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-12 Pub. Date: 2017-04-12
Image Number: 156748
Caption: Is that a … um … never mind. Forget I said anything. What? Nothing. It must've just been a trick of the light. Or maybe a stray hair. It certainly couldn't be the faint imprint of a wrinkle beside you eyes. My life is over. On the bright side, maybe a web of wrinkles lining your face will make you look less dopey.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-11 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-11 Pub. Date: 2017-04-11
Image Number: 156747
Caption: It turns out celiac disease is thousands of years old. Yet I still never heard about "gluten" till recently. What do you think that means, Randy? It obviously means big wheat has some explaining to do. They must've altered the grains. I don't know. Maybe it's because our environment has gotten cleaner. So since our antibodies haven't had to work as hard, they've gotten weaker. HOJ. If there's one thing you'd know about, little buddy, it's atrophy. We should have our own science show.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-01 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-01 Pub. Date: 2016-12-01
Image Number: 151571
Caption: I burned 3200 more calories yesterday than I consumed!!! You went for a long run? No. Oh. Well you must've followed my usual regimen: cross-fit, a few hours of weights … followed by several hours of evading jealous boyfriends. I forgot to enter the calories I consumed into my fitness app. You'd be surprised how many calories you burn evading buckshot.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-31 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-31 Pub. Date: 2016-10-31
Image Number: 150483
Caption: I’m not sure I'm going to keep watching "The Walking Dead." Because of who they just killed off? No, because of how they killed the character off. It would've been one thing if it were just scary … But it was gross, and traumatizing. My date just kept crying and wasn't in the mood for lovin' for 30 whole minutes after that. I haven't met a lady who was "in the mood" in years. They must've all been anticipating this episode. Sure.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-27 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-27 Pub. Date: 2016-09-27
Image Number: 149038
Caption: Do you think glasses make people look smarter? That depends, little buddy. The glasses must be small, to give you the illusion of a larger noggin. The rims must be thick enough to hide any dullard-like facial expressions, to create the illusion of perceptivity. And lastly, one must never speak, lest we say something dumb and ruin the illusions. What if I also wore a big bushy mustache to muffle my words?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-14 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-14 Pub. Date: 2016-09-14
Image Number: 148487
Caption: I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think. About what, little buddy? Star Trek. The latest movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus. Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives.
     
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