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Rudy Park

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (43 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-13 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-13 Pub. Date: 2017-09-13
Image Number: 162611
Caption: I've never had a real date, because they always refuse to sign the Dutch contract. "The Dutch Contract"? Most relationships fail because of money. Because one party starts to see the other party as a piggy bank. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask prospective dates to sear under oath that they'll always go Dutch on everything. Maybe it's the title people object to. A lot of conservatives can't stand anything that sounds European. Yeah. That must be it.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-06 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-06 Pub. Date: 2017-09-06
Image Number: 162350
Caption: Sadie, you might be able to settle a scientific question. You can not get under my skin, loser. They just cut down a huge Redwood tree. It's got 3,200 rings in it. I'm not even listening. Is it true every ring represents a year? You must know, since you were around when that tree was born. Hey everyone, she says it's true. When I'm don with my meatloaf, let's find out how old you are. Munch mun -
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-13 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-13 Pub. Date: 2017-08-13
Image Number: 160983
Caption: What was it you wanted to talk about, minion? There's a guy from Immigration and Customs Enforcement out front, boss. Oh, that. ICE said someone would stop by to thank me for tipping them off to all the illegals who were hanging out at Muhammad's Bean Pie Shack. What? Why would you do that? Because I'm a patriot. In times like this, every patriot must do his duty. If we have good reason to suspect a bean pie shack is a gathering place for people who shouldn't be here, it's our solemn duty to report it, so it'll get shut down. This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with how you've been looking for ways to boost our bean pie sales, would it? Coincidence. Don't be a conspiracy theorist, minion. Oh, and go tell ICE I have another tip for them. Very bad man.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-18 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-18 Pub. Date: 2017-07-18
Image Number: 160520
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: "Medicare for All." Specifically, we'll talk about how paying just a little more in taxes to fund it would save money, since no one would have to pay premiums or copays, no matter what their age. That's why we must defeat it! What about the rest of us, who had to struggle with sky-high insurance costs, horrible coverage, and enormous bills that forced us into bankruptcy, for 65 whole years, before qualifying for Medicare?! We paid our dues!!! Plus, when you make it over that 65-year finish line, it's like surviving The Hunger Games. A very proud moment.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-27 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-27 Pub. Date: 2017-06-27
Image Number: 159727
Caption: That's a shame. What's a shame? Did I do something wrong, officer? TSA. Yes, you did. You let your boyfriend turn you down. So what if he's 15,000 miles away in Russia? If I were your man, I'd never let that stop me. I would fly to the ends of the earth for you. This routing ever work for you? Good lord this routine must work for you.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-28 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-28 Pub. Date: 2017-05-28
Image Number: 157937
Caption: Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't so bad. Just tell them you were being sarcastic. Ok. Oh no! Now they're saying I'm being defensive and must have something to hide! Say the media took you out of context. Ok. Oh no!
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-13 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-13 Pub. Date: 2017-05-13
Image Number: 157824
Caption: Any news on that star that might have a Dyson sphere around it? Nothing new. I mean, they discovered the star's probably been dimming ever since 1890, which could lend credence to the notion an alien race has been building a Dyson sphere. By they discovered that a few months ago. There's been nothing since then, so ... whatever. Must be nothing there. They should do a study to see how long it takes your attention span to dim. What? Why? What're we talking about?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-12 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-12 Pub. Date: 2017-05-12
Image Number: 157823
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Sandwiches. Specifically, we'll talk about how single-payer health care would put tons of spending money into the hands of the "sandwich generations." They'd pay a little more in taxes, but they wouldn't have to go deep into debt to be able to put their elderly parents in nursing homes. They could buy products and take vacations and put their sniveling brats through college, and still put the old folks in a nice, safe facility. Which is why we must defeat single-payer whenever it rears its ugly head! (#I'm-not-going-anywhere-you-ungrateful-twerps!)
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-12 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-12 Pub. Date: 2017-04-12
Image Number: 156748
Caption: Is that a … um … never mind. Forget I said anything. What? Nothing. It must've just been a trick of the light. Or maybe a stray hair. It certainly couldn't be the faint imprint of a wrinkle beside you eyes. My life is over. On the bright side, maybe a web of wrinkles lining your face will make you look less dopey.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-11 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-11 Pub. Date: 2017-04-11
Image Number: 156747
Caption: It turns out celiac disease is thousands of years old. Yet I still never heard about "gluten" till recently. What do you think that means, Randy? It obviously means big wheat has some explaining to do. They must've altered the grains. I don't know. Maybe it's because our environment has gotten cleaner. So since our antibodies haven't had to work as hard, they've gotten weaker. HOJ. If there's one thing you'd know about, little buddy, it's atrophy. We should have our own science show.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-01 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-01 Pub. Date: 2016-12-01
Image Number: 151571
Caption: I burned 3200 more calories yesterday than I consumed!!! You went for a long run? No. Oh. Well you must've followed my usual regimen: cross-fit, a few hours of weights … followed by several hours of evading jealous boyfriends. I forgot to enter the calories I consumed into my fitness app. You'd be surprised how many calories you burn evading buckshot.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-31 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-31 Pub. Date: 2016-10-31
Image Number: 150483
Caption: I’m not sure I'm going to keep watching "The Walking Dead." Because of who they just killed off? No, because of how they killed the character off. It would've been one thing if it were just scary … But it was gross, and traumatizing. My date just kept crying and wasn't in the mood for lovin' for 30 whole minutes after that. I haven't met a lady who was "in the mood" in years. They must've all been anticipating this episode. Sure.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-27 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-27 Pub. Date: 2016-09-27
Image Number: 149038
Caption: Do you think glasses make people look smarter? That depends, little buddy. The glasses must be small, to give you the illusion of a larger noggin. The rims must be thick enough to hide any dullard-like facial expressions, to create the illusion of perceptivity. And lastly, one must never speak, lest we say something dumb and ruin the illusions. What if I also wore a big bushy mustache to muffle my words?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-14 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-14 Pub. Date: 2016-09-14
Image Number: 148487
Caption: I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think. About what, little buddy? Star Trek. The latest movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus. Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-13 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-13 Pub. Date: 2016-09-13
Image Number: 148486
Caption: You're doing too much, Mort. I don't know what you mean. Optimum scruffiness is a delicate balance. One cannot have both wild hair and a wild mustache. It must be one or the other. What about Einstein? He was behaired all over the place. The only exceptions are for hobos, bikers and the big-brained. I rode my Huffy here, does that count?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-12 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-12 Pub. Date: 2016-09-12
Image Number: 148485
Caption: Have you even thought of having children, Randy? Of course. I come from a long line of perfect specimens. Each successive generation is more charming, more virile, more irresistible than the last. HOJ. Logic dictates that I am not the end result, I am but a link in the evolutionary chain of Randies. I must reproduce eventually, for the sake of all mankind. How about you? I come from a long line of corporate overlords, each greedier than the last ...
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-23 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-23 Pub. Date: 2016-08-23
Image Number: 147675
Caption: Sadie, they just found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets weve discovered in my lifetime. It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are unless they've got telescopes. It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus. I see you're bringing what passes for your A-game today.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-13 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-13 Pub. Date: 2016-07-13
Image Number: 145830
Caption: Bill Clinton keeps doing strange things. like meeting with the attorney general in private while his wife's under investigation. What was he thinking? It's as if he's trying to sabotage Hillary's campaign. He must've never read my book: The Alpha Male's Guide to Not Lousing Everything Up. Is that your book that just says "go home" on every page?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-29 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-29 Pub. Date: 2016-06-29
Image Number: 145236
Caption: I have a coupon for a free Moroccan Wasabi Mochaccino. You already used that coupon last week. I dont think so. You must be thinking of another customer. No, I remember handing you the drink, you showing me the coupon and then when I tried to take if from you, you pushed aside a table, a boy scout and a nun as you fled. I don't think so. Get out.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-09 must 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-09 Pub. Date: 2016-05-09
Image Number: 143039
Caption: I bet you've filled your head with so many tweets and Instagrams that you've crowded out all your actual memories of your own life. Nonsense. I remember way back, all the way to well let's see oh, I've got it My earliest memory was opening an America Online cd, putting it in our old PC, and seeing that symbol. You do realize that was the 1990s don't you? You must have already been in your teens. You are a very sick generation! I get misty-eyed when I think back to "you've got mail!"
     
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