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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about murders and murdering.

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Result page:    2  Next  (36 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-19 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-19 Pub. Date: 2017-09-19
Image Number: 162849
Caption: When my little boy got home from day care and found out I'd sold the microwave, he started sobbing. Dr. Noodle. He asked who bought it. I said "a neighbor." He whimpered and blubbered "But I don't want the neighbor to have it! I want us to have it!" M.A ... I tried to make him feel better by telling him it's best not to have one anyway, because all microwaves leak radiation and that can cause cancer ... and that's when your son accused you of trying to murder your neighbor? I never realized how horrible a person I was until my son started asking questions.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-02 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-02 Pub. Date: 2017-06-02
Image Number: 158604
Caption: Murdered 2nd Lt. Richard Collins III visits Lemont's dream. I'm sorry, I've been doing all the talking. Tell me all about you. Tell me who you are. What you wanted to be. In your own words. Ok, sir. I was going to -- Hey! He was just getting started!
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-01 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-01 Pub. Date: 2017-06-01
Image Number: 158603
Caption: Departed 2nd Lieutenant Richard Collins III visits Lemont's dream. Why does my murder affect you so personally? You didn't even know me. M. Maybe that's why. You were graduating from a great school … you were commissioned in the army … By all accounts, you were funny, you were brilliant, you were going to be someone consequential. Someone who could've made history. I SHOULD have someday known you. But now I never will.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-31 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-31 Pub. Date: 2017-05-31
Image Number: 158602
Caption: Departed 2nd Lieutenant Richard Collins III visits Lemont's dream. I'm beyond tired of this. A promising young man, who could've one day been a great general or a president, or a dad … cut down by a white supremacist … or by a cop, or by a thug … I'm tired, tired, tired of this! You're tired of this? Well ... yeah ... I ... guess you're more ... can we start over?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-30 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-30 Pub. Date: 2017-05-30
Image Number: 158601
Caption: Zzzzz. Excuse me, sir, how do I get to the Metro? Zzhuh? We're on a plane. Who are you? Second Lieutenant Richard Collins III, sir. On my way to my graduation. Um … we need to talk, Lt. Collings. How did I get here?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-25 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-25 Pub. Date: 2016-10-25
Image Number: 150195
Caption: This just in: New tapes show Donald Trump boasting about how, when you're a star, you can murder. Click … turns out new Wikileaks emails show Hillary Clinton met for two hours with donors from the barbaric planet Draco IV … Click … meteor heading straight for you. Your only hope at this point is to ... Click ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper too ... the millionaire .... Mun mun mun.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-23 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-23 Pub. Date: 2015-10-23
Image Number: 133802
Caption: We're not done mourning the last mass shooting, so it's inappropriate to talk about gun control. It's too soon. Time. Seriously, we're averaging more than one mass shooting per day. When exactly will it be appropriate to talk about it? I believe there's an opening between 11:58pm and 11:58pm ad 22 seconds.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-22 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-22 Pub. Date: 2015-10-22
Image Number: 133801
Caption: I'm tired of liberals using every mass shooting as an excuse to talk about having more gun regulations. Cars kill far more people than guns! Booze kills more people than guns! Tobacco kills more people than guns! Medical malpractice kills a lot more people than guns! You know that's why we regulate the heck out of all those things, right? I don't wee what that has to do with anything.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-19 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-19 Pub. Date: 2015-10-19
Image Number: 133798
Caption: Do you have any idea how many mass shootings we've had in America this year? According to the Washington Post, in just the first 274 days of the year, we had 294 mass shootings. That's more than one per day. There are more mass shootings than there are days in the baseball season. You know what that means, don't you? It mean mass shootings is America new national pastime. Stop stealing my lines.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-17 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-17 Pub. Date: 2015-08-17
Image Number: 131274
Caption: Bad cops who kill unarmed black men are starting to get fired, and even indicted for murder. I don't think any of that would be happening if it weren't for the fact that all hell broke loose in Ferguson after Michael Brown was killed. Maybe things are actually changing. Maybe cops will even stop persecuting the good officers who report the bad ones. Wait ... are you being sarcastic? Maybe the academies will start weeding out the ones who overreact.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-30 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-30 Pub. Date: 2015-06-30
Image Number: 129037
Caption: An 11-year-old boy was playing in his yard for 90 minutes after the school bus dropped him off because his parents were stuck in traffic and couldn't get home to let him in. They were thrown in jail, charged with a felony, and their kids were taken away. When you have for-profit prisons, there's a lot of incentive to fill them by any means necessary. I still say if your son's never had a peanut butter sandwich, go ahead and make him one. If he turns out to have an allergy, they'd probably charge me with attempted murder.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-18 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-18 Pub. Date: 2014-06-18
Image Number: 112731
Caption: Google. Gmail. Inbox (3). Starred. Sent Mail. Drafts. More. From. Subject. Received. 1. Groupon. Half off at Sofi Greek Massage & Murder Mystery dinner show. 11:43 pm. 2. Groupon. 51% off sausage + beanbag chair combo from Farhad's Megamart. 1:15 am. 3. Groupon. Half off protein shake shots + rooster sauce conditioner. 3:20 am. A deal's a deal. Purchase. (This cartoon was originally published on 5/9/2012).
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-02 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-02 Pub. Date: 2014-06-02
Image Number: 112087
Caption: That deranged guy in Santa Barbara killed all those people to get revenge on women for not being attracted to him. That makes me feel guilty for ever complaining about being in a girl's "friend zone." It's like "sexual partner" is the default purpose of a woman, and if you end up her friend instead, you must've done something wrong. There's something wrong with you if you think "friend" is a bad word. Wait, which mass shooting you talkin' 'bout? Hard to keep track.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-02 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-02 Pub. Date: 2013-08-02
Image Number: 99764
Caption: If you want to make sure no one can identify it, I suggest using a chain saw, that you can get from Home Depot. Pardon me, I couldnt help overhearing. "That" is a restrictive pronoun. You're basically saying the ONLY place she could get a chain saw is Home Depot. You should say, "which," not "that." Which way would you like to die? Perfect!
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-10 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-10 Pub. Date: 2013-07-10
Image Number: 99040
Caption: Tap tap tap tap tap. Twitter. TWITTER.COM/CANDORVILLE. Zimmerman trial's a Rorschach test dividing those who think they know 4 SURE what happened from those who know what "Rorschach test" means.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-10 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-10 Pub. Date: 2013-03-10
Image Number: 93969
Caption: Why have you come to Therapy, Mr. Lapew? "Mr. Lapierre." Wayne Lapierre, of the NRA. Dr. Noodle. I see. And what brings you to therapy? I'm afraid I may be paranoid, doctor. Last month I said on TV that the reason we need more guns is because Americans will SURELY find ourselves in a post-apocalyptic "hellish world ... " ... Filled with hurricanes, tornadoes, gangs and criminals, euro-style debt riots, and looters who'd murder you over a box of Pampers. I can see why you think you may be paranoid. So you agree. The thought that nobody's taking me seriously is all in my head. What? What?
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-09 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-09 Pub. Date: 2012-05-09
Image Number: 80533
Caption: Google. Gmail. Inbox (3). Starred. Sent Mail. Drafts. More. From. Subject. Received. 1. Groupon. Half off at Sofi Greek Massage & Murder Mystery dinner show. 11:43 pm. 2. Groupon. 51% off sausage + beanbag chair combo from Farhad's Megamart. 1:15 am. 3. Groupon. Half off protein shake shots + rooster sauce conditioner. 3:20 am. A deal's a deal. Purchase.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-18 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-18 Pub. Date: 2011-07-18
Image Number: 63360
Caption: Mainstream Media. Can't I just say one more thing about Casey Anthony? I said NO!
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-12 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-12 Pub. Date: 2011-05-12
Image Number: 60780
Caption: Osama Bin Laden visits Lemont's dream. The real reason I caused so much pain and suffering is because I was I don't care. What? Infidel! Im the most important figure of the century. I changed the course of history. I Bore me. When you murder innocent people, you make yourself a two-dimensional mustache-twirling villain. You make your ideology irrelevant. You make yourself a mosquito that needs swatting. Mosquitoes kill hundreds of thousands of people. I hate mosquitoes ... Yet don't particularly care about their motivations.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-17 murder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-17 Pub. Date: 2011-01-17
Image Number: 56433
Caption: A judge was killed. A Congresswoman was shot. This isn't a time to point fingers. It's not the time to look at how our leaders' increasingly violent language has fomented a violent political climate. It's not the time to look at how people think it's ok to bring guns to political events. Well, when would be a good time to ... Sorry, gotta run, I'm outta time.
     
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