What can I get you? An explanation about why Disney can't do what we all want the to do â€¦ and have the folks who made Rogue One go back and remake the super-lame Star Wars prequel trilogy. Would you like the inaccurate explanation or the accurate one? Inaccurate would be lovely, please. It's too soon to remake "Phantom Menace." Plus it'd be confusing. Besides, the prequels were good enough. What're you talking about? It's been 18 years since "Phantom Menace." And movies get rebooted all the time, and no one gets confused. And no, they were most definitely not good enough. Well you asked for the inaccurate version. Oh. Can I try the accurate one, then? Ok. It's because it's just easier to pretend the prequels never existed. But I want them to officially never have existed.
Did you see the "Star Wars" trailer? O … M … G!!! I'm avoiding it like the plague, little buddy. I saw the prequels. I won't get fooled again. You don't know what you're missing! This trailer is like fifty times more exciting and satisfying than all three prequels combined! In fact, I've just posted my own cut of the movie on YouTube. I just copied and pasted the trailer 90 times in Final Cut, so it repeats for two hours. It's already got 7 million views. George Lucas must need a hug right now.