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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-30 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-30 Pub. Date: 2018-05-30
Image Number: 171959
Caption: I've been playing around with deep fake technology. I took photos of everyone who ever bullied me … and I mapped them onto the little Sims in Simcity. Well, that's only the second most disturbing thing I've heard people doing with that tech. Every time they try to go home, I demolish their homes. Then they drive around in circles wondering what happened. HOJ. You don't think that's strange, do you? I don't judge.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-24 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-24 Pub. Date: 2018-05-24
Image Number: 171809
Caption: Boss … I just got a memo saying you want me to work longer shifts. But I already work 18 hours a day. I need to sleep. Traitor. Spain is considering doing away with the siesta. No more mid-afternoon naps or three-hour lunch breaks. Spain is the most valuable ally we've ever had in the history of our country. We've got to stand by them by eliminating our own unnecessary frivolities. Very. Bad. Man. Also, Spain's minimum wage is about $5.87. e must stand with Spain.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-21 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-21 Pub. Date: 2018-05-21
Image Number: 171806
Caption: I have an idea for a new app: It'll tell you what your dog is thinking. What? How? Through a sensor planted in the dog's collar. Every time it barks, whines or sighs, the sensor will beam an English translation to your phone. It'll either say feed me, walk me, I need to potty, or leave me alone, or a random combination of those. That sounds like the most useless app ever. It'll also shout I'm running! when the dog is running.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-19 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-19 Pub. Date: 2018-05-19
Image Number: 171512
Caption: What's your question for Ask Sadie? Should I invest in crypto? Only if you're a nincompoop who can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Besides I was always more partial to Comet the Horse, Streaky the Cat and Beppo the Monkey. Krypto was the most unimaginative pet Superman ever had!!! What? What?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-19 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-19 Pub. Date: 2018-04-19
Image Number: 170595
Caption: The March Kaiser Family Foundation study showed that 59% of Americans now favor Medicare-for-all. That's almost 60%! When asked if they'd favor it if people were still allowed to buy private supplemental insurance, the number skyrocketed to 75%. This ruins everything. I was used to calling it a leftist position. But if most people want it, isn't it now the centrist position? Don't panic, little buddy. Political labels are about mockery, not accuracy. That sounds awfully leftist of you.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-08 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-08 Pub. Date: 2018-04-08
Image Number: 169775
Caption: Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard his computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he'd discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said Things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-23 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-23 Pub. Date: 2018-03-23
Image Number: 169642
Caption: What's your question for Ask Sadie? What's the most humane way to get squirrels out of my garden? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time one of my ancestors had a similar question. Ironically, she was a spunky flying-squirrel-like creature who prayed to the great acorn to do something about the triceratops that kept stomping her magnolias. My advice: Go great-acorn on those squirrels!!! Did that really happen? It's family lore! I don't question it!
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-02 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-02 Pub. Date: 2018-03-02
Image Number: 168937
Caption: I'm trying to pinpoint the exact moment in history when me were at their most manly. There are hundreds of variables to consider. My initial calculations showed it was the "Greatest Generation" circa 1945 in all the Allied countries. But then I realized I'd forgotten about the high-waisted pants. When I factored that in, they fell a few decimal points behind Genghis Khan's Mongol horde. But then I realized I'd forgotten to carry the "1." Never forget to carry the "1."
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-24 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-24 Pub. Date: 2018-02-24
Image Number: 168671
Caption: Do you believe the world is all an illusion? I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon. Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet it's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies. If the entire hive mind of earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true. I hope not. I'd hate for you to end up being the most important person in history.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-06 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-06 Pub. Date: 2018-02-06
Image Number: 168187
Caption: I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy. Which part do you miss most? Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what tv shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission? Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-25 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-25 Pub. Date: 2018-01-25
Image Number: 167659
Caption: Rudy, it's come to my attention you were talking to patrons about "Star Wars" again. I don't think so … I did talk about Star Trek. Oh … I see. I love Star Trek. I'm not ashamed to admit that I've looked up to its main characters my whole life. Really? Which ones, Kirk? Spock? Picard? Data? Sisko? Who? No, I mean the Ferengi. The most greedy businessmen in the galaxy. In a whole galaxy of Communists, they kept the predatory capitalist torch burning. Unsung heroes. Very bad man.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-21 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-21 Pub. Date: 2018-01-21
Image Number: 166993
Caption: Tonight on The Price is Right! Three people compete … to the death. Animal Planet brings you the gruesome mating dance of the preying … CNBC stock analysts, Jane Ponziskeem and Chuck Boughtman. You two both see, to agree the President's tax … Calamity was the most apocalyptic thing that ever happened in the history of the inner solar system. The devastating impact blew much of the earth's crust into orbit. After millions of years, it all coalesced to form ... Disney. The company now owns much of our popular culture. Aside from its catalogue of Disney films, the behemoth now owns the rights to Star Wars, the rights to X-Men, the rights to the Fantastic Four, and the rights to - you're behind. But you can catch up easily! You can get your revenge, with Montezuma energy drink! Side effects may include projectile hurling, incontinence, colorectal warming, and -- Whales! Admiral, there be whales here! Well done, Mister Scott. How soon can we be ready for warp speed?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-30 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-30 Pub. Date: 2017-12-30
Image Number: 166544
Caption: John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-16 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-16 Pub. Date: 2017-12-16
Image Number: 166034
Caption: Most Millennial want a third major party to challenge the Republicans and Democrats. The last time a third party rose up and toppled a big-two party was when the Republicans supplanted the Whigs. What do you think that generation was called? Google says they were the "Progressives," but that doesn't sound old-timey enough to be right. I'm not sure what they should be named, but I'm pretty sure it should include the word "falutin." You should have your own political show.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-07 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-07 Pub. Date: 2017-12-07
Image Number: 165718
Caption: You've been glaring at me all morning, Sadie. You're imagining things, cretin. It's not as if I'm calculating the optimal strategy for turning your friends against you, destroying your reputation, and making you the most despised cretin in town. It's not as if I've already set my plan into motion, and now I'm gleefully imagining the tears raining from your eyes as you spiral downward into an abyss of disgrace. I said I was sorry there was a hair in your oatmeal. Too late! Your demise is already trending.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-06 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-06 Pub. Date: 2017-12-06
Image Number: 165717
Caption: Rudy, how come you're not wearing the new uniform? You were serious? You seriously want me to dress like a robot? Of course I do, minion. My nightly perusal of customers' web searches indicates most of them are feeling a bit antisocial lately. They'd probably buy more coffee from a robot than a human. Oh wait ... new web searches coming in. I'm going to need you to dress like a sexy robot. Very bad man.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-05 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-05 Pub. Date: 2017-12-05
Image Number: 165716
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. Weepy in Wisconsin, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java.net cybercafe. I just read the most beautiful poem ever. It's called On Children, by Kahlil Gibran. I have two babies myself, and after reading that, I just can't stop weeping. When your babies are teenagers they'll wreck your car, steal your watch, and be ashamed to be seen with you. There. Have you stopped crying yet, loser? Still crying. Different reason. You're welcome. Next caller!
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-05 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-05 Pub. Date: 2017-11-05
Image Number: 164017
Caption: What can I get you? The pumpernickel sriracha margarita mocha sounds good. Ok. Can I get you anything else, ma'am? Yes. An explanation of the Fermi paradox. Would you like the most common explanation, or the latest explanation? The latest would be lovely. Despite knowing there are trillions of planets out there, we haven't seen any evidence of alien life because we're part of a simulation. We exist on the computer of someone living in a higher reality. The limits of our knowledge are dictated by the sophistication of the guy's program. He's been steadily upgrading the program. That's why the Hubble telescope "discovered" all those "old" galaxies, and that's why we've "discovered" thousands of new planets. We'll "discover" aliens as soon as the guy running our simulation gets around to installing the "alien life" expansion pack. I meant to ask for that "to go."
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-13 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-13 Pub. Date: 2017-09-13
Image Number: 162611
Caption: I've never had a real date, because they always refuse to sign the Dutch contract. "The Dutch Contract"? Most relationships fail because of money. Because one party starts to see the other party as a piggy bank. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask prospective dates to sear under oath that they'll always go Dutch on everything. Maybe it's the title people object to. A lot of conservatives can't stand anything that sounds European. Yeah. That must be it.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-22 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-22 Pub. Date: 2017-07-22
Image Number: 160524
Caption: You know why most political comic strips are leftist? Wait … is that your own observation, or did you overhear it somewhere? I'm shocked, Randy. Haven't you heard of morphic resonance? If a few members of a species learn something, then pretty soon it's inbred knowledge in the rest of the species. As proof: I don't even recall reading about morphic resonance. I just know about it. Obviously because someone else read about it. So I think you'll agree, first-person observation is highly overrated. I'm pretty sure you meant "inborn" knowledge, not "inbred." See? You're "pretty sure" because morphic resonance. More proof.
     
Result page:    2  3  4  5  Next  (96 images)