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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-02 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-02 Pub. Date: 2018-09-02
Image Number: 173682
Caption: It doesn't reflect poorly on us. We're going gangbusters. We're vibrant. And spicy, like jalapenos. We are fresh as the Kennedys in 1950s springtime!! Wrinkle-free!! Let's jump rope. I would most certainly enjoy hang gliding. What's going on with the geezers? The LK Effect. What? Ever since Larry King announced his retirement, they've been overcompensating. But first a nap. With vigor. I'll retire when they pull the microphone from my dead ... zzzzz.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-03 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-03 Pub. Date: 2018-08-03
Image Number: 173261
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Most people mellow with age. So what's your problem? -Baldwood. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. I'll handle this one. She has mellowed. You’re witnessing a watered-down Sadie Cohen. He's right. Five years ago, I'd have found the person who wrote this letter and beaten him silly with tree branches. Not a bad plan. Is there a return address? I stand corrected. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-11)
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-15 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-15 Pub. Date: 2018-07-15
Image Number: 172922
Caption: Rudy Park Enterprises is proud to announce its own Sadie Cohen has been selected as most obnoxious and caustic radio host of the year. Speech, speech!!! You're too kind. Obviously, every girl dreams of getting this kind of recognition. I'm well aware it's customary to thank everyone who made this moment possible. It's true. I might not have won if it weren't for the lifeless jerks imbeciles who listen to the show and write in with their stupid email questions. But you are all beneath contempt. The only person I want to thank is Rudy Park. Your shallow and insipid existence inspired m every single day. Can I tweet that?
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-14 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-14 Pub. Date: 2018-07-14
Image Number: 172764
Caption: I really wish Mort was here to share my award. I'm the most obnoxious talk show host of the year and there's no one to share it with. Mort is so selfish. He's probably partying it up out there with the boys. We could eat our owns kin. Delirious. My iPhone looks like mint jelly.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-13 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-13 Pub. Date: 2018-07-13
Image Number: 172763
Caption: As you may have heard, I have won the award as Most Obnoxious and Caustic Radio Host of the Year. I bet out Hannity, Dr. Laura, that jerk on MSNBC. Olbermann. YOU'RE ALL TOO NICE. IT SICKENS ME! I'd like to thank all the losers that listen to the show and have no lives.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-12 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-12 Pub. Date: 2018-07-12
Image Number: 172762
Caption: Sadie was nominated as Most Obnoxious And Caustic Talk Show Host of the Year. She's so anxious about winning (Which she wants) she's asked Armstrong to open the envelope. What's it say? It says. Wait for it. Congratulations. WOOHOO SUCKERS!!! You're the biggest jerk on radio.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-11 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-11 Pub. Date: 2018-07-11
Image Number: 172761
Caption: Open it for me. For $5. I've asked you to do the honor of opening the envelope that says whether I've won the award for Most Obnoxious Talk Show Host and you're going to charge me?! I am duly impressed. YOU @#$% CHEAPSTAKE!!! You have to have won.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-10 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-10 Pub. Date: 2018-07-10
Image Number: 172760
Caption: I wish Mort were here. I need help with this. You can't open an envelope. It's the national radio society's annual prize results. Someone nominated me as Most Obnoxious and Caustic Talk Show of the Year. Great honor. I need Mort's moral support if I don't win. Naturally.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-30 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-30 Pub. Date: 2018-05-30
Image Number: 171959
Caption: I've been playing around with deep fake technology. I took photos of everyone who ever bullied me … and I mapped them onto the little Sims in Simcity. Well, that's only the second most disturbing thing I've heard people doing with that tech. Every time they try to go home, I demolish their homes. Then they drive around in circles wondering what happened. HOJ. You don't think that's strange, do you? I don't judge.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-24 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-24 Pub. Date: 2018-05-24
Image Number: 171809
Caption: Boss … I just got a memo saying you want me to work longer shifts. But I already work 18 hours a day. I need to sleep. Traitor. Spain is considering doing away with the siesta. No more mid-afternoon naps or three-hour lunch breaks. Spain is the most valuable ally we've ever had in the history of our country. We've got to stand by them by eliminating our own unnecessary frivolities. Very. Bad. Man. Also, Spain's minimum wage is about $5.87. e must stand with Spain.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-21 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-21 Pub. Date: 2018-05-21
Image Number: 171806
Caption: I have an idea for a new app: It'll tell you what your dog is thinking. What? How? Through a sensor planted in the dog's collar. Every time it barks, whines or sighs, the sensor will beam an English translation to your phone. It'll either say feed me, walk me, I need to potty, or leave me alone, or a random combination of those. That sounds like the most useless app ever. It'll also shout I'm running! when the dog is running.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-19 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-19 Pub. Date: 2018-05-19
Image Number: 171512
Caption: What's your question for Ask Sadie? Should I invest in crypto? Only if you're a nincompoop who can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Besides I was always more partial to Comet the Horse, Streaky the Cat and Beppo the Monkey. Krypto was the most unimaginative pet Superman ever had!!! What? What?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-19 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-19 Pub. Date: 2018-04-19
Image Number: 170595
Caption: The March Kaiser Family Foundation study showed that 59% of Americans now favor Medicare-for-all. That's almost 60%! When asked if they'd favor it if people were still allowed to buy private supplemental insurance, the number skyrocketed to 75%. This ruins everything. I was used to calling it a leftist position. But if most people want it, isn't it now the centrist position? Don't panic, little buddy. Political labels are about mockery, not accuracy. That sounds awfully leftist of you.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-08 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-08 Pub. Date: 2018-04-08
Image Number: 169775
Caption: Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard his computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he'd discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said Things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-23 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-23 Pub. Date: 2018-03-23
Image Number: 169642
Caption: What's your question for Ask Sadie? What's the most humane way to get squirrels out of my garden? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time one of my ancestors had a similar question. Ironically, she was a spunky flying-squirrel-like creature who prayed to the great acorn to do something about the triceratops that kept stomping her magnolias. My advice: Go great-acorn on those squirrels!!! Did that really happen? It's family lore! I don't question it!
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-02 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-02 Pub. Date: 2018-03-02
Image Number: 168937
Caption: I'm trying to pinpoint the exact moment in history when me were at their most manly. There are hundreds of variables to consider. My initial calculations showed it was the "Greatest Generation" circa 1945 in all the Allied countries. But then I realized I'd forgotten about the high-waisted pants. When I factored that in, they fell a few decimal points behind Genghis Khan's Mongol horde. But then I realized I'd forgotten to carry the "1." Never forget to carry the "1."
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-24 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-24 Pub. Date: 2018-02-24
Image Number: 168671
Caption: Do you believe the world is all an illusion? I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon. Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet it's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies. If the entire hive mind of earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true. I hope not. I'd hate for you to end up being the most important person in history.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-06 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-06 Pub. Date: 2018-02-06
Image Number: 168187
Caption: I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy. Which part do you miss most? Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what tv shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission? Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-25 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-25 Pub. Date: 2018-01-25
Image Number: 167659
Caption: Rudy, it's come to my attention you were talking to patrons about "Star Wars" again. I don't think so … I did talk about Star Trek. Oh … I see. I love Star Trek. I'm not ashamed to admit that I've looked up to its main characters my whole life. Really? Which ones, Kirk? Spock? Picard? Data? Sisko? Who? No, I mean the Ferengi. The most greedy businessmen in the galaxy. In a whole galaxy of Communists, they kept the predatory capitalist torch burning. Unsung heroes. Very bad man.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-21 most 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-21 Pub. Date: 2018-01-21
Image Number: 166993
Caption: Tonight on The Price is Right! Three people compete … to the death. Animal Planet brings you the gruesome mating dance of the preying … CNBC stock analysts, Jane Ponziskeem and Chuck Boughtman. You two both see, to agree the President's tax … Calamity was the most apocalyptic thing that ever happened in the history of the inner solar system. The devastating impact blew much of the earth's crust into orbit. After millions of years, it all coalesced to form ... Disney. The company now owns much of our popular culture. Aside from its catalogue of Disney films, the behemoth now owns the rights to Star Wars, the rights to X-Men, the rights to the Fantastic Four, and the rights to - you're behind. But you can catch up easily! You can get your revenge, with Montezuma energy drink! Side effects may include projectile hurling, incontinence, colorectal warming, and -- Whales! Admiral, there be whales here! Well done, Mister Scott. How soon can we be ready for warp speed?
     
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