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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about money .

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-17 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-17 Pub. Date: 2018-10-17
Image Number: 174493
Caption: You wanted to see me, boss? House of Java Café. Grand Opening! That's right, minion. My sources tell me a journalist has been looking into your new café's financing. My café? What do you mean? This is your café. Well, it is now, after you sold it to me for $1. but before that, you bought this building using money funneled to you through a shell company traced back to a Russian oligarch ... That's what the paper trail will show, anyway. How could you? Should've known he would never have given me that dollar without strings attached.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-02 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-02 Pub. Date: 2018-10-02
Image Number: 174289
Caption: I'm the one who brought in all our dark money accounts, sir. Especially Judicial Jerkpac. They hired us to create ads polishing off the rough edges of their favorite judicial nominees. But Judge Groperman is accused of sexual assault. I'm not sure you're the right man for this one, Garcia. I'm just as capable as any man of abandoning my principles to defend lowlife scum. It's called being a professional You mean alleged lowlife scum.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-01 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172353
Caption: I'm not happy. I think I married the wrong person. Dr. Noodle. But I can't leave. Leaving is too hard. I mean, we've got all the same friends. They'd hate me. And she's got complete control of the bank accounts. What would I do for money? But maybe I could just start all over. Who needs any of that stuff? There's a whole world out there. Maybe it's not too late to explore the world, wrestle and alligator, move to Jamaica, change my name, and meet the woman I was really meant to be with. Sometimes it actually is too late. Zzzzzzzz.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-02 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-02 Pub. Date: 2018-05-02
Image Number: 171054
Caption: How long you think it be till unaccountability trickle down to the rest of us? The Democrats got Debbie Wasserman Shultz' people destroying ballots before they can be recounted. That ain't legal. But nothin' happen to them. The president use his office to make money e'reday. That ain't legal. But nothin' happen to him. What did you do, Clyde? Don't matter. That's my point.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-01 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-01 Pub. Date: 2018-04-01
Image Number: 169546
Caption: I made some Kraft mac & cheese the other day. Why you ain't called me, bruh? I'da ate some. That's not the point, Clyde. The point is, it didn't taste anywhere near as delicious as it did when I was a kid. Serves you right. You think maybe they changed the formula? Did they find out something in it was dangerous? Did they do it to save money? The thought kept me up all night. Finally, at 3 a.m., I tweeted Did Kraft change it's formula ... or have I gone crazy ... or is nothing ever as delicious as it was when you were a six-year-old child? You really tryin' hard to find somethin' to be upset about that ain't Trump. I spent all morning taste-testing Froot Loops, KFC, Funyuns, Jell-o pudding pops, etc ... They must've changed their formulas too!
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-28 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-28 Pub. Date: 2018-03-28
Image Number: 169887
Caption: I started using the Amass Loot app to invest money. Say what? It's like Stash and Acorns. It automatically withdraws money form my checking account and buys stocks. Just one day after starting, I lost 48 cents. The app told me that meant it was the perfect time to invest even more. I could get you in on Big Oatmeal's craps game in the alley. I go just like that. How much does he charge per trade?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-18 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-18 Pub. Date: 2018-02-18
Image Number: 167988
Caption: When I was a youth, I dreamt of becoming a gangsta rapper who'd someday go legit and found a major record label and sell it for billions to Apple. Dr. Noodle. I never did it, though. I didn't know that career path was really possible. But then Dr. Dre came along and he did it. That's an awfully specific dream you had. And then there was my Russian dream. I always dreamt of striking out in real estate, then catching the eye of Russian mobsters and foreign banks who'd bail me out if I agreed to launder tons of loot for them ... and then maybe I'd run for high office so I could repay the bank by giving it a waiter exempting it from paying some huge fine, and maybe be able to use my office to repay the mafia somehow too. Y'know ... sometimes when we're jealous, we rewrite history and actually believe I thought of that first. Oh, no, I've been laundering money for year - wait, this whole thing is confidential, right?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-11 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-11 Pub. Date: 2017-12-11
Image Number: 166001
Caption: Have you ever been to thetruesize.com? No. What's that? The maps we all use distort the sizes of the countries. The sizes are way off. That site lets you drag countries around to see how big they really are. Turns out Japan's as big as the entire east coast of the U.S. Brazil is almost as big as the United States. All of Africa is bigger than the U.S., India, Western Europe, Argentina and China combined. Same principle works for money. If you drag my seemingly tiny bank account around the globe, I'm actually super rich. Dios mio.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-09 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-09 Pub. Date: 2017-10-09
Image Number: 163628
Caption: I was part of the press pool covering the president's visit to Puerto Rico. I covered the whole thing. The part where he gave his own response an A+ … the part where he threw supplies as if they were prizes at desperate survivors … the part where he told Puerto Ricans they were costing us a lot of money ... the part where he said it wasn't a "real" catastrophe like Hurricane Katrina ... the part where he said that finger the crowd used must be the Puerto Rican equivalent of a "thumbs-up" ... How come the article you wrote about it was called "Nailed It."?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-06 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-06 Pub. Date: 2017-10-06
Image Number: 163374
Caption: I want apple juice. I can't give you any. Oh … why? Are you poor? You can't afford apple juice? No, it's that I'm not your dad. I'm a stranger. It's not my place to go giving you drinks. You need money, don't you? You can say so. I have seven moneys I could give you. Where are your parents?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-01 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-01 Pub. Date: 2017-08-01
Image Number: 161031
Caption: No, Lemont, I'm not going to tell you how much I earn. But why not? We're friends. I'll tell you how much I earn. It's not the same thing, Lemont. Why? Because you earn more than I do? Susan, why would you be worried about that? I wouldn't get all jealous or insecure about it or anything. How much money someone has says nothing about them. I'm glad you feel that way. How much nothing are we talking about?
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-05 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-05 Pub. Date: 2017-07-05
Image Number: 159981
Caption: Lemont interviews California Assembly Speaker Anthony Rendon (D). You single-handedly blocked SB-562, the popular single-payer bill that had already passed the state Senate. That's right. It lacked specifics. I refused to allow the assembly to consider it because it was woefully incomplete. Well ... why didn't you just complete it? Isn't completing it something the assembly can do, Mr. Assembly Speaker? Bsssht ... Bsssht... You're breaking up ...
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-21 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-21 Pub. Date: 2017-04-21
Image Number: 157016
Caption: Y'know, this world could be a paradise. For the amount of money the world spends on war … We could pay people to leave the rainforests alone. We could feed everyone. We could give everyone health care and an education. We could plant gardens everywhere. The big flower industry would hire armed goons to protect the roses.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-20 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-20 Pub. Date: 2017-04-20
Image Number: 157015
Caption: You know why 'Star Trek' is off the air? Because no one wants to see the liberal Communist utopian propaganda. Think about it: Nobody needs money. Everyone's basic needs for food and shelter are met by the government. What incentive does anyone have to accomplish anything if they're not scared about ending up hungry and homeless? Well ... Boredom's an incentive. Notice how they all wear pajamas all day long. They're work pajamas.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-18 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-18 Pub. Date: 2017-04-18
Image Number: 157013
Caption: List of places a brotha ain't gotta visit before he die be getting' longer, Big L. Florida, 'cause of "Stand Your Ground" … Chicago 'cause of all them gunfights … the whole Middle East 'cause of Isis 'n' them … I should name the list an' trademark it. Lotta people be leavin' money on the table when they don't trademark. "Bucket List" would've been worth millions. Whachoo got that rhymes with "Bucket List"?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-06 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-06 Pub. Date: 2017-04-06
Image Number: 156468
Caption: Do you have the time? How much is it worth to you? Colorblinded. What? I had to pay for this watch. And then there's the time it takes me to glance at my wrist … and time is money. I have to pass all those costs along to the time-asker. Not everything in life has to turn a profit, you know. Socialist.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-05 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-05 Pub. Date: 2017-03-05
Image Number: 154597
Caption: I just read that Bill Gates is set to become the world's first trillionaire by the year 2042. Which proves this is the greatest country on earth. Where else could one person amass more hundred dollar bills than there are people on earth? You know what I think? I think we should confiscate everything anyone earns over $1 billion and redistribute it. You what? It's only fair, when you think about it. Our billionaires became billionaires by automating and outsourcing and doing all sorts of things that put millions of Americans out of work. Redistributing the excess would give all those people a decent basic income, so they would never have to starve and die just because millionaires wanted to be billionaires. I'm practicing for April Fools. How'd I do? I didn't buy it for a second. Color-blinded.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-04 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-04 Pub. Date: 2017-03-04
Image Number: 155071
Caption: What's life all about? Death. Erethang we do be about getting' what we can while we can. We ain't got but seven, eight decades to get all the naps, all the money, all the lovin', all the eatin', an all the tv-watchin' we can. I think we can do more that that in eight decades, Clyde. Life's about findin' five things you good at an' explorin' them to they fullest. You can't "explore" napping.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-23 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-23 Pub. Date: 2017-02-23
Image Number: 154804
Caption: So, I won the American Press Foundation's Ambrose Award for Snarky Journalism. That's awesome, Lemont! Does it come with any prize money? Yeah, $2500! But I had to travel cross country to accept it in person. The plane tickets for Lionel and me were $600. The attire was "short-sleeved tuxedo," so I had to have one custom made for over $1000. Well, still ... prestigious. And you scored $900! Lionel's tux was $950.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-31 money 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-31 Pub. Date: 2016-12-31
Image Number: 152629
Caption: 2016 wasn't no joke, bruh. Hundreds of unarmed people shot by police didn't even make the news … Thousands of unarmed people shot by civilians didn't make the news. You know what made the news? Rich people an' racists exploit the fears of average people to seize power. How that news, bruh? That's how it always been, ev'r since the Egyptians invented money. You're totally wrong. It was the Phoenicians.
     
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