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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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Result page:    2  Next  (24 images)


1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-05-01 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-05-01 Pub. Date: 2017-05-01
Image Number: 157724
Caption: The Good Old Days. I miss my old life … Don't we all … Happy Hour is over.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-20 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-20 Pub. Date: 2017-02-20
Image Number: 154967
Caption: Nixon in the Underworld. It's the Republican party … they miss you. DNR. Add oil daily.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-01-04 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-01-04 Pub. Date: 2016-01-04
Image Number: 137525
Caption: Bill Is Back. Hey! I'm back! Didja miss me? Um yes and I never thought I would. Hey! It's me. The big dog! I'm back! Whoopee! Parrrteee!
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-12-31 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-12-31 Pub. Date: 2015-12-31
Image Number: 137510
Caption: The Secret Service and It's Discontents. Aw come one don't tell me somebody stole my badge and ID again! These terrorists gotta be stopped! And my liberry card, too? Aw, come on I'd like to report a missing gun. The owner is a secret, and the type of gun is a secret, and could you please keep this a secret, too? Ok, so, we are guarding the ... uh ... the president of ... well, you know, and we are prepared to throw our bodies into the line of fire as soon as we figger out where he is. Shhh ... that's a secret, too.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-10-22 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-10-22 Pub. Date: 2015-10-22
Image Number: 134325
Caption: Paul Ryan Extracts Promises from Fellow Republicans. I believe I distinctly said I wanted a three-minute egg every morning. This is a two-minute egg! Take it back or suffer the consequences. Yessir, Mr. Ryan, sir, yessir God, I Miss Boehner I know. A pack of Camels, and a bottle of Two Buck Chuck, and he was happy ... Ryan says oh, ok ... Romney (crossed out). Ryan.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-07-18 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-07-18 Pub. Date: 2015-07-18
Image Number: 130107
Caption: Trump on McCain. Nah, McCain is not a hero! He's a freakin' failure. Got his plane shot down. He's a loser. He's fired. What I woulda done? I woulda had my best negotiators in there. Sold these gooks a $25 million apartment, then done a deal for a freakin' golf course. Why? Because I'm smart, see? Yeah, and people love me. The freakin' gooks love me ... Etc. Hi, everybody! Miss Green Card 2005. Hanoi Hilton.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-03-17 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-03-17 Pub. Date: 2015-03-17
Image Number: 124553
Caption: Putin Returns After Being Missing for Over a Week. Look mother, it is our beloved Pootin, come back to us! Pooty-cat! We were so worried! Where have you been? Shut up you peasant swine. Where's my food?
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-09-14 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-09-14 Pub. Date: 2014-09-14
Image Number: 116645
Caption: Palin Family Fights Its Way Our of Snowmobile Club Brawl. Amazingly no video available. Left to right more or less, Todd, nearly vice-president Sarah, Pistol, Jello, Flack, and at top, that turkey guy. (Missing, John McCain). Arctic Cat. Yamaha. Kawasaki. Polaris. $ Mom. Kilroy was here. Ed's Snow Machines. Ski-Doo.
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-03-24 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-03-24 Pub. Date: 2014-03-24
Image Number: 109382
Caption: Where's the Plane? I think the crew must have had something to do with the disapperaance. I think the engines fell off. It must have been terrorists. I think somebody was trying to steal the plane. I think it was a bomb. Why are we trying to figure this out? We don't know anything ... Nobody knows anything ... Lost plane mystery?
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-12-17 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-12-17 Pub. Date: 2013-12-17
Image Number: 105360
Caption: Oh, No! Traffic Jam from Jersey to the George Washington Bridge. Some are Blaming Hey, hey! What're you lookin' at? You lookin' at me? Huh? Hey? Christie 2016. Merge. Squeeze left. GW Bridge. Miss McGreevy yet?
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-11-14 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-11-14 Pub. Date: 2013-11-14
Image Number: 104033
Caption: Driving Miss Lindsey. Oh, ah do declayuh drivuh, some of your nominations give me a profound case of the vapors. Especially in ma delicate electoral condition. GRAHAM for SENATE. DC Limo.
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-06-02 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-06-02 Pub. Date: 2013-06-02
Image Number: 97809
Caption: Anti-Gun Control Fellers Down South Send Rice in an Envelope to Michael Bloomberg. Stayumps. Wanted fer Drivin' Crazy. Wanted fer Wisin' Off. Wanted fer Stealin' Stuff From the Walmart. Wanted fer Puttin' Miss Emily Sue in the Family Way. Uncle Ben's Rice. Priority Mail Thet No-Good Bloomberg. The New York.
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-12-06 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-12-06 Pub. Date: 2012-12-06
Image Number: 90979
Caption: In Cairo. Is it possible ? I miss Mubarak.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-08-26 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-08-26 Pub. Date: 2012-08-26
Image Number: 86884
Caption: Mr. Romney and Mr. Trump Admire Junior. What a cute little fella, are you bringing him to the convention? Yeah Wouldn't miss it for the world. Birther issue.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-08-02 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-08-02 Pub. Date: 2012-08-02
Image Number: 85496
Caption: Record Violence in Baghdad. Miss me yet? Saddam.
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-03-06 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-03-06 Pub. Date: 2012-03-06
Image Number: 77573
Caption: Newt Expects To Do Better in the Southern Primaries. General Store. East Hamhock, Miss. Co' Cola. Wal, I remember back when if we had a problem with one of our negras, we jus' got us a rope. 'Course, back then we waz all democrats Newt 2012. Newt. Newt. Newt. Newt 2012.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-28 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-29 Pub. Date: 2011-11-28
Image Number: 73650
Caption: With the Republicans in Disorder, Sarah Palin Reasonably Asks: Miss us yet? McCain Palin. Palin. Members Only. 2 Cycle. Sarah.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-20 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-20 Pub. Date: 2011-10-20
Image Number: 67180
Caption: Khadaffy Dead. Well, Muammar, I don't know about the rest of the world, but I'll miss you. WAR. Job posting. Power-mad leader. Must be vicious meglomaniac. No regard for human life. Well-versed in mideast values. Apply Tripoli, Bengazi, wherever. Procedure is highly competitive.
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-04-20 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-04-21 Pub. Date: 2011-04-20
Image Number: 60058
Caption: Look, mom, there's the first lady.
     
Result page:    2  Next  (24 images)