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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about minds and minding.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-14 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-14 Pub. Date: 2017-10-14
Image Number: 163633
Caption: When I was four, Rosencrantz, I was convinced the world only existed when I was looking at it. A blank expanse of nothingness lurked beyond every corner, until I rounded it and my mind brought another vista into being. Imagine my shock and my jealousy when, decades later, the scientist Robert Lanza proposed the very same idea, to great acclaim. But then I remembered that Robert Lanza didn't exist until I conjured him from the ether, so the acclaim belongs to me after all. Wouldn't it belong to whoever conjured you?
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-05 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-05 Pub. Date: 2017-09-05
Image Number: 162343
Caption: Do you know how know there's no god, Rosencrantz? Because we've been abandoned. Will eat for food. I once spun a top, Tyrone. I spun it and I walked away. How it fell, I have no idea. But I know this: An intelligent being spun that top. I thought you said you spun that top. Don't resent me just because I just blew your mind.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-31 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-31 Pub. Date: 2017-08-31
Image Number: 162090
Caption: I got into a Twitter feud wit @joanwalsh. @davidshuster asked her and @joyannreid to apologize for using the term "alt left." I backed him up. When they and @govhowarddean used the term against progressives, they helped validate it. And that helps @realdonaldtrump neutralize the toxicity of the term "alt right" ... which makes it harder to fight white supremacy. I think I won. I'm going to give @govhowarddean a piece of my mind too. Are you @trying to @change-the-subject because you're @losing the @argument about @josswhedon's @divorce? It's just @joss. And I'm @changing-the-subject because it's @none-of-our-business.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-18 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-18 Pub. Date: 2017-06-18
Image Number: 158658
Caption: I read your article bashing Congressman Thugman for assaulting a reporter, you'd better watch your back, Leroy. Lemont. Whatever. You should change your name to "Enemy of the American People." Trump said so, and he's right. How was he right? There's nothing more American than a free press. Read the first amendment. The press is enshrined in the Constitution! Journalists report being beaten, arrested. Oh yeah? Well, the so-called "Constitution" also enshrined slavery. Yeah, but then the Constitution abolished slavery, with the 13th amendment. Exactly. It's crazy for you to defend yourself with a document that can't even make up its mind. No wonder they're body-slamming you guys now. I'm starting to think you'll say anything just to win an argument. That's my first amendment right. Why do you hate the Constitution?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-03 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-03 Pub. Date: 2017-05-03
Image Number: 157547
Caption: Why erebody always say "think of the children"? How'd that get all flipped 'round? When we was kids, no matter what crazy, deranged #@$% we saw, our mommas said "don't mind that, that's grown folk's business." When they all of a sudden decide that grown folks have to all be "Mister Rogers" instead of kids havin' to mind they business? It's apparent you're not a parent. You tell one more "dad joke" an' I won't be held responsible for my actions.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-15 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-15 Pub. Date: 2017-04-15
Image Number: 156723
Caption: 1982. I don't like going to the doctor. My Uncle Benny went to the doctor and never came back. Plus, there are lots of sick people there. How is it a good ideas to go sit in a waiting room where everyone has the plague? Plus, I believe in the Vulcan philosophy of mind over matter. If Spock could trance himself free of those killer alien spores, I could do that too. You're going to die young, Lemont. No, I'm going to live long and prosper.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-03 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-03 Pub. Date: 2017-03-03
Image Number: 155070
Caption: Every single-parent feels this way, Lemont. When you look at your baby, you know everything he will one day be ultimately depends on you, and you alone … and every time someone else watches him, they're doing you a favor. So you feel pathetic … I was going to say I felt very grateful. Oh. Never mind, then. M.A.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-10 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-10 Pub. Date: 2017-02-10
Image Number: 154241
Caption: Do you know why mankind is so susceptible to authoritarians, Rosencrantz? It's because our brains are wired to accept lies. Our conscious brain can eventually spot a lie. But for it to spot it, our unconscious brain first has to entertain it. And just as when you entertain a guest, there's a chance the guest will overstay his welcome, put up photos of his loved ones, and before you know it, he's moved in and you can't get rid of him. I'll say it one last time: I want my side of the sidewalk crack back, Tyrone. I don't know what you mean, I've always been on this side.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-17 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-17 Pub. Date: 2017-01-17
Image Number: 153405
Caption: Ok … so here's what happened after Vancouver opened her door. Keep in mind, it'd been a year of longing anticipation. I'd had a year to rehearse what I would say and do once we met each other again. "I would stun her with my friendly smile, and melt her with my bedroom eyes ... I would approach her with a confident swagger and embrace her with loving arms ... I would whisper something charming she'd always remember." Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-13 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-13 Pub. Date: 2016-11-13
Image Number: 150252
Caption: Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … the runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... but instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-26 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-26 Pub. Date: 2016-10-26
Image Number: 150196
Caption: Earlier today, I considered the option of traveling back through time and making other choices. But before I could finish considering it, I changed my mind and decided I could not, would not, dare not do such a thing. But now it occurs to me, perhaps that was me from the future inhabiting my past self and making just such an "other choice." I think I regret that I'm going to do what I did to prevent me from undoing that which I regret. Stop it.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-05 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-05 Pub. Date: 2016-10-05
Image Number: 149308
Caption: Dick, a friend of mine is sitting in a plane that's been stranded on the runway for six hours. We handle all the TSA's advertising. I know they don't have authority over that, but … say no more, Ms. Garcia. You want me to call them … and get your friend released from that plane by any means necessary. No, never mind. I'll call them myself. I'll tell them of his extensive travels in Syria. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-23 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-23 Pub. Date: 2016-09-23
Image Number: 148765
Caption: "Fraud: Wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain." See? It does apply. No, it doesn't. That definition says nothing about Concast paying us $10 million to hire Denzel Washington as a pitch-man, but us hiring Cuba Gooding Jr. instead for $200k and using the rest of the money to pay back our creditors. "Prison: A building in which people are legally held as a ... " Never mind, it was just an idea.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-12 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-12 Pub. Date: 2016-09-12
Image Number: 148479
Caption: I am the God of thy father Cletus. What? Who that? Cletus. Cletus Dogg. Your father. Didn't nobody call my daddy "Cletus." Erebody called him "Hot Sauce." I call him by his given n Never mind, that is not important right now, Clyde. "C-Dog." (Sigh) fine, C ... no, it's not fine.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-21 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-21 Pub. Date: 2016-08-21
Image Number: 146823
Caption: No, momma, I didn't see that post on "The Newsfeed." Remember, momma, I told you everyone sees a different newsfeed tailored just for them. It's based on what we search for online, what we type, etc Ok, watch load Facebook. "Load" means never mind ... turn on the Facebook. Ok, now tell me what's on your screen. Uh-huh ... Uh-huh ... See? That's the perfect example, momma ... I don't see a single post about Idris Elba's booty on MY newsfeed. And I'd like to stop talking about this now.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-16 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-16 Pub. Date: 2016-07-16
Image Number: 145821
Caption: Baton Rouge police was called 'cause someone said they saw a man with a gun sellin' CDs. The usual thing happened. Brotha didn't obey fast enough, cops rough him up, say he resisted arrest, he end up dead, an' it all on video. Then black people an' white people see two completely different things lookin' at the same exact video. I'm tellin' you bruh, Gilligan ain't never gettin' off this island. He actually got off in a pretty bad tv movie and ... never mind. Not the time.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-04 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-04 Pub. Date: 2016-05-04
Image Number: 142720
Caption: What you called me last night at two a.m. for, Big L? I don't know. I just didn't want to sleep, I guess. Every time I start to drift off, I begin to have this dream I really don't want to have. So I'm just going to stay awake until my subconscious mind gives up and forgets about that dream. I ain't never seen a man play "chicken" with hisself before. I'm going to show me who's boss if it kills me.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-21 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-21 Pub. Date: 2016-04-21
Image Number: 142115
Caption: I signed my child up for preschool. Say what? You don't have a child, Susan. You don't even want children. You seem to be allergic to them. I know. But I like to prepare for anything. What if, years or decades from now, I change my mind? Waiting lists are way too long for the good preschools. I want "Justin Case" to have the best start in life ... That's the name I put down.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-07 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-07 Pub. Date: 2016-04-07
Image Number: 141504
Caption: Your boy George Berkeley be trippin', Big L. Thinkin' he proved the existence of God. He argued the only thing we can be sure exist in our own minds. But because there got to be things in the universe we ain't never thought of that must mean there must be some all-seeing "God" out there, in whose mind erething exist. Later philosophers poked holes in that theory and what have you done, Clyde? That between my mind an' the big mind in the sky.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-21 mind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-21 Pub. Date: 2016-03-21
Image Number: 140808
Caption: People keep gettin' beat up at Trump rallies. All them people is stupid beyond belief. That's not fair, Clyde. How were they supposed to know they'd get beat up just for speaking their minds? That's not supposed to happen here. This is America. That's what I mean: this America, bruh. Why they ain't sued Trump for some of his $10 billion by now? That's ... well, ok. Yeah.
     
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