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Candorville

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-01 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172353
Caption: I'm not happy. I think I married the wrong person. Dr. Noodle. But I can't leave. Leaving is too hard. I mean, we've got all the same friends. They'd hate me. And she's got complete control of the bank accounts. What would I do for money? But maybe I could just start all over. Who needs any of that stuff? There's a whole world out there. Maybe it's not too late to explore the world, wrestle and alligator, move to Jamaica, change my name, and meet the woman I was really meant to be with. Sometimes it actually is too late. Zzzzzzzz.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-18 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-18 Pub. Date: 2018-06-18
Image Number: 172354
Caption: What ever happened with the Canardville refugees? What? I thought you were covering that story. I was. But at the last second I had to fly to Singapore to cover the summit between the President and North Korea's leader. You know they had a private meeting before the public one? Sometimes I can't believe this is my life, Susan. I was just the shy kid from the wrong side of the tracks. Now I'm the guy hiding in potted plants reporting on the secret meeting between two powerful leaders. Wait ... what? I never in a million years thought I'd be in Singapore.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-04 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-04 Pub. Date: 2018-03-04
Image Number: 168475
Caption: The other day, Kelly texted me hi. So right away I texted back three paragraphs saying hi, asking how she was, and whether she wanted to meet. Dr. Noodle. Did she write back? Yeah. About six hours later, she sent me an lol. So right away I texted back an lol plus four paragraphs asking how her day was, and pointing out that she didn't say whether she wanted to meet. Did she write back? No. I kept checking my phone the rest of the night, but she never wrote back. She finally wrote back three days later. What did she write? She wrote I miss you. OMG. That's exactly what I wrote! Right away. Plus five paragraphs asking if she wanted to meet.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-30 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-30 Pub. Date: 2017-12-30
Image Number: 166538
Caption: Hi, momma. What? Oh, no thanks, I don't need a roommate. (Sigh) … No, I don't care how wise and kind his posts are on your Facebook newsfeed. You did what? You gave him my address and told him he could stay with me until Uzbekistan extradites him? (Sigh) ... No, that's not what extradite means. (Sigh) ... Momma, you're not supposed to meet your random Facebook friends in real life. It's a rule ... You did what?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-28 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-28 Pub. Date: 2017-11-28
Image Number: 165418
Caption: Of course my mama's fine. She has a memory like a steel trap. She remembers every cute thing I ever said to her. She remembers every time I snuck out to meet a boy. She remembers every time I called her to tell her I won a new client. She just doesn't remember she remembers all that. I just remembered the definition of "denial."
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-23 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-23 Pub. Date: 2017-11-23
Image Number: 165150
Caption: All right, Sherry, let's meet up after and I'll help you bury it. Pardon me … couldn't help but overhear … It's unnecessary to add "up" after "meet." … And it's as strange as saying "let's dance up," or "let's sleep up." For that matter, what's with people who say "eat up"? Are you trying to catch a beat-down? "Down"? See how arbitrary it is?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-18 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-18 Pub. Date: 2017-07-18
Image Number: 160502
Caption: I'm so glad I caught you before you left town, Vancouver. So am I, Candorville. But why'd you want to meet here? Why not in the city? I wanted to see where you live. I wanted to meet your little boy. I wanted to show you this video a friend of mine sent me of you cheating on me with some muscle-bound oaf, and I didn't want the horrible memory of me dumping you to taint my city. Also, I wanted a caramel-kiwi mocha, and the only cafe that makes it is out here. Wait ... Back up?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-30 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-30 Pub. Date: 2017-06-30
Image Number: 159712
Caption: Meanwhile, in Candorville … " … and the aria turned, smiled sweetly, and stepped off the cliff." The Last Book Store. Meet the author! Thank you, thank you so much. Any questions. I've got a question, miss. Lysurgus Cup. The Willow Chronicles. Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Wow! Clap! Clap clap clap. How hungry are you? I knew a French place around the corner. Wanna get out of here? Yes. I mean NO. I mean, I'm working here. And I've got a man. Lemont. And I AM hungry though. And no! I'll be outside on the Harley.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-29 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-29 Pub. Date: 2017-06-29
Image Number: 159711
Caption: Lemont's in Russia … Where'd you take Rudy Park? He was on the boat with me. I was writing a story about him when someone … Oh, come, come … It's as if you've never seen stooge whisked away by unmarked black van to meet with rich Mafia-connected oligarch before. Anyway, you wanted to talk about interference with election. No really, but ... ok. Which one? 1953 overthrow of Iran's Mossadegh? 1954 overthrow of Guatemala's Arbenz? 1960 overthrow of Congolese Prime Minister Lumumba? 1964 overthrow of Brazil's Goulart? 1973 coup in Chile? I see what you're doing. Oh wait ... those were yours.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-26 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-26 Pub. Date: 2017-06-26
Image Number: 159708
Caption: Vancouver. Hey cutie, you'll never guess where I am! You'll never guess where I am either, snoogums. But you first. <3 Tap tap tap tap t - I'm in CANDORVILLE! I'm on a book tour. I thought maybe you and your son would like to have dinner after my signing. Tap tap tap t - Terminal B. Of course! ... 'cept I'm in Moscow covering the story of my old college roomie being a Russian spy who's blackmailing Donald Trump. Vancouver. Um ... if you don't want to meet, just say so.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-01 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-01 Pub. Date: 2017-03-01
Image Number: 155068
Caption: … The internet says our relationship needs more communication. Tell me exactly what I can do that'll make you happy … and I'll tell you exactly what you can do that will make me feel happy. It'd make me happy if you would meet my parents. There go that noise again.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-17 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-17 Pub. Date: 2017-01-17
Image Number: 153405
Caption: Ok … so here's what happened after Vancouver opened her door. Keep in mind, it'd been a year of longing anticipation. I'd had a year to rehearse what I would say and do once we met each other again. "I would stun her with my friendly smile, and melt her with my bedroom eyes ... I would approach her with a confident swagger and embrace her with loving arms ... I would whisper something charming she'd always remember." Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-28 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-28 Pub. Date: 2016-12-28
Image Number: 152626
Caption: … so they took me off the Trump account. I'm going to take matters into my own hands; I'm going to Trump Tower next week. I said I'm meeting with Donald Trump next week. Aliens. Star Trek. Green Lantern. Are you even listening?! How much do you think apartments go for in Canada?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-18 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-18 Pub. Date: 2016-11-18
Image Number: 151020
Caption: Lemont meets another Lemont from an alternate reality. Whatever you do, do NOT visit the women you came here to see. I made that mistake. We waited over a year to see each other. We were so in love. But when I visited her, I was so upset about Trump's election, we had a miserable time. It killed the magic. Wouldn't flying thousands of miles just to stand her up kill the magic too? Good point. I'll tell you what ... as a favor to you, I'll visit her for you. I'm on to you.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-12 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-12 Pub. Date: 2016-06-12
Image Number: 143982
Caption: It all started when … hired me to … they flew me to … to meet the CEO. Dr. Noodle. I was so excited. I'd never been to … before. They took me to a reception for their biggest clients. There was wine and cheese and an awesome … best I've ever … That's when they brought out the 900-pound ... and the albatross. They all started ... around them. They stripped off all their clothes, and beneath then they were all wearing robes made of actual living ... Look, there's abiding by a non-disclosure agreement, and then there's paranoia. I think they may have bugged my ...
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-10 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-10 Pub. Date: 2016-06-10
Image Number: 144223
Caption: You told Clyde how you met this chick from Vancouver. You told your therapist how you met her. You told the mailman how you met her. But you never told me. I'm supposed to be your best friend, Lemont. I thought we tell each other everything. Oh. Well, I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to plant a bunch of negative thoughts about her in my head. You always seem to despise any woman I date. That's not true. I thought Kimani was a lovely woman. Kimani? That was in preschool, Susan ... and you convinced me she was only interested in my Raggedy Andy.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-09 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-09 Pub. Date: 2016-06-09
Image Number: 144222
Caption: I'm flying to Oakland for a book festival in two week. "Vancouver" is going to be there too. The girl you been talkin' to long-distance? You ain't never told me how you met her in the first place. Yeah I did, Clyde. I called you as soon as it happened and told you every last detail. You and I talked for five hours! Anything more'n two minutes, I set the phone down an' watch tv. It's a policy. But you kept applauding! Must've been the studio audience you heard, bruh.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-20 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-20 Pub. Date: 2016-05-20
Image Number: 143336
Caption: Prince visits Lemont's dream. Where are you going? To meet her. Who? The maker. "The maker" is a "her"? Of course she is. Females are better teachers because they're better listeners … and I've still got so much left to say.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-27 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-27 Pub. Date: 2016-01-27
Image Number: 138297
Caption: The Double Date. So how did you two meet? Oh, it was really romantic. Do you want to tell it, or should I? You tell it, schmoochie. You tell it so much better. No, you tell it, butterbean. You tell it so much better. They are so disgusting, Princess Leia Pudding Pie. Tell me what they're saying, Cutie Bear. Tap tap tap tap t.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-26 meet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-26 Pub. Date: 2016-01-26
Image Number: 138296
Caption: The Double Date. So where's Vancouver, Lemont? I've been dying to meet her. Well … you know how when you fall in love with someone online, and you sort of get so used to texting hours and hours every day that you start to feel like maybe you're better in writing than you ever would be in person? No. Not really. Susan, Vancouver. Vancouver, Susan. I've heard so much about you. Dios mio.
     
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