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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about marriage counselors.

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Result page:    2  Next  (21 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-16 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-16 Pub. Date: 2016-10-16
Image Number: 149095
Caption: It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes even three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills? They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-03 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-03 Pub. Date: 2016-01-03
Image Number: 136827
Caption: I get tired of everything, doc. And I mean EVERYTHING. Dr. Noodle. I used to love classical music, but now I can't stand it. I got tired of my wife and kids, so I left and found a new wife and had new kids. Then I got tired of them and tried going back to the old ones. But there was a new guy there. So I tried going back to the new ones, but they told me to get lost. I got tired of DirectTV so I switched to Dish Network. Let's go back to your wife and kids. Unless you're tired of that topic. I think I'd like to try a new therapist.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-29 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-29 Pub. Date: 2015-05-29
Image Number: 127504
Caption: She's making things up. I always listen to her. … or whatever it is she just said I never do. Ph.D. M.A. Couple's therapy.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-31 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-31 Pub. Date: 2014-08-31
Image Number: 115090
Caption: I called my ex-wife and told her I forgive her for leaving me for Guillermo Cabonabong. Wow. After five years? Something told me it was time to forgive. Well, I told you back then, holding onto resentment is only going to hurt you. I'm glad my advice finally sunk in. It's not that, doc. Yesterday, Facebook suggested I add Guillermo Cabonabong as a friend. I quit. When even Facebook says it's time to move on, it's time to move on.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-20 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-20 Pub. Date: 2014-07-20
Image Number: 113319
Caption: It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills. They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-23 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-23 Pub. Date: 2014-03-23
Image Number: 108219
Caption: I'd like you to admit one thing. Which is? Dr. Noodle. That your husband's agreeing to come here is evidence he does care about repairing your relationship. M.A. If, as you believe, your husband is an unemotional, distant man who cares only about being the victor in every aspect of his life ... why would he come here and make himself vulnerable? Because he just wants someone to agree with him that I'M the problem! LOL. Don't you think that's a little cynical? See? The man says you imagine everything. smh.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-08 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-08 Pub. Date: 2013-12-08
Image Number: 104376
Caption: "Stupid arguments" are the most important. But a parking spot? Dr. Noodle. Yes. She yelled at me for two hours! She felt belittled. If a parking spot is within ten feet of a hydrant, it's not a spot! It's a ticket-trap! She doesn’t understand these things! I parked right across the street, where I was more comfortable. What's wrong with that?! When you told her "that's not a spot," she heard "you're a woman, you don't know what you're talking about. Well tell her to use the English-to-English dictionary, not the English-to-history-of-gender-inequality dictionary.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-24 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-24 Pub. Date: 2013-10-24
Image Number: 102929
Caption: I showed him plenty of "Munsters" in the beginning of our relationship. Why can't he be happy with the memory? Why's he still need it all the time? Lemont? Can you at least acknowledge the validity of its point? Sooner or later, each of us finds out favorite show is no longer in our programming package. I say whatever it takes to get me, that's what it takes to keep me. Yeah right, you wouldn't know what to do without me.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-23 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-23 Pub. Date: 2013-10-23
Image Number: 102928
Caption: What's the point of this relationship if it doesn’t give me what I want? Dr. Noodle. Couples' Counseling. Like the other day, I came home from a long day at work. All I wanted was a quick "Munsters" rerun. M.A. Not that again. I give him plenty of shows, but just because I don't give him the one show he wanted ... Why don't you go get "Munsters" from Netflix if it's that important to you. MAYBE I WILL!
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-22 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-22 Pub. Date: 2013-10-22
Image Number: 102927
Caption: It's been a while since I've seen you two. How are you love birds doing? Dr. Noodle. Couples' Counseling. Great. Just great. I mean, sure, we WERE on the verge of breaking up. And sure, the internet is young and hot, and willing to do just about anything I want ... M.A. But TV and I have been together FOREVER, so we might as well just stick it out. Oh. So I'm just a habit to you?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-11 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-11 Pub. Date: 2013-08-11
Image Number: 99766
Caption: There's such a thing as too much honesty. What? Dr. Noodle. Some lies are ok. M.A. Never in a marriage. Especially in a marriage. What's more important to you, being honest? Or being compassionate and not humiliating your spouse? Wait … Are you saying that if he's honest about my opinions, I'll be humiliated? He's insulting my opinions, dear. What kind of a man just sits there and lets a stranger insult his wife's opinions? PhD. That's not what I was doing. Are you calling me a liar? This is so much more fun as a spectator.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-03 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-03 Pub. Date: 2013-03-03
Image Number: 93765
Caption: So you've been fighting less? Yes. And I see right through that, doctor. Dr. Noodle. The other day, I caught her reading "The Art of War." M.A. What's wrong with that? Clearly she's using it to get the upper hand in our marriage. She'd dog-eared the page that said "supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." I see. It hurts you to know that in her mind, you fill the role of "the enemy"? Ph.D. No, I just don't want to be tricked into being happy. That really makes me mad! OMG.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-14 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-14 Pub. Date: 2012-09-14
Image Number: 87233
Caption: If she complains about me giving her ultimatums ONE MORE TIME, it's over. PhD. M.A. Couples Therapy.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-10 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-10 Pub. Date: 2012-06-10
Image Number: 81209
Caption: I said you have a communication problem. I hear that part. Dr. Noodle … Lem. What's a "Lem"? It's me finishing my sentence. You sound just like my wife. She's always whining about me not letting her finish her sentences. Why on earth should I? Why should I be subjected to hearing a bunch of blather if I already get the point? Because cutting someone off before she can fully express herself is disrespectful. You're essentially telling her she's a waste of your time. PhD. Well, what a more respectful way of telling her she's a waste of my time?
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-27 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-27 Pub. Date: 2011-11-27
Image Number: 72871
Caption: "Stupid arguments" are the most important. But a parking spot? Yes. She yelled at me for two hours! She felt belittled. If a parking spot is within ten feet of a hydrant, it's not a spot. It's a ticket-trap! She doesn’t understand these things. I parked right across the street, where I was more comfortable. What's wrong with that?! When you told her "that's not a spot." she heard "You're a woman, you don't know what you're talking about." Well tell her to use the English-to-English dictionary, not the English-to-history-of-gender-inequality dictionary.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-04 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-04 Pub. Date: 2011-09-04
Image Number: 64822
Caption: Couples Sessions Today. Dr. Noodle. I"ve been thinking about how you said men are nonverbal communicators. So, lately I've paying to Ebenezer's body language. Go on. His silence, his distance, his late nights at the office, all forced me to realize I cannot fulfill his needs. In opening the door to leave, he let in the light that illuminated all the roaches in our relationahip. Last week, I paused at the door before leaving with the kids, the dog and my luggage. His refusal to even look away from his baseball game so say goodbye told me he was hurting, and couldn't bear to watch. Ebenezer's courage in reaching out to me in nonverbally has made me fall in love with him all over again. Pate, please get me tix for tonight's game. Yes, Ben ... we can get back together. Wait ... we broke up?
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-03 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-03 Pub. Date: 2011-04-03
Image Number: 59018
Caption: Kelly called. She told me she was finally ready to be with me. She asked me to marry her. I told her "No, you've hurt me too much." and I hung up and swore I'd never answer another phone call from her again. She called dozens of times after that. I answered every time. She told me she was sorry for hurting me all year, and said she can't live without me. She was so in love with me. It broke down the wall I'd built around my heart, and I fell back in love with her. I told her I would consider marrying her if she could go six months without breaking my heart again. Then she didn't return any of my calls for two whole months. I swore I would NEVER, EVER answer another phone call from that woman again! Good! Today, she e-mailed me. I answered that because it wasn't a phone call. Fascinating.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-21 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-21 Pub. Date: 2010-03-21
Image Number: 45150
Caption: I've fallen in love with another woman. But my wife and I have so much history. This other woman, Kelly, makes me happy. And that makes me miserable! Nobody but my wife should make me happy. What kind of sick jerk am I to allow another woman to make me happy! But things just aren't like they used to be with my wife. We don't have the same spark we used to have. Hmmm ... I see. Should I move on, doc? Considering your wife left you for another man eight months ago, that might not be a bad idea. You don't think it's too soon?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-12 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-12 Pub. Date: 2009-12-12
Image Number: 41704
Caption: We have a difference of opinion. She thinks I never pay attention, and I think she's full of baloney. Back in a few days.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-30 marriage counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-30 Pub. Date: 2008-05-30
Image Number: 23767
Caption: I still say "gay marriage must be stopped"… ..but my heart's not really in it anymore. It's almost as if I'm too busy worrying about the fact I'm losing my home, my job and my health insurance. When I said bring in your significant other, I meant your wife. It's like me and my boogeyman are just going through the motions. Y.M.C.A.!
     
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