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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (45 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-01 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-01 Pub. Date: 2017-09-01
Image Number: 162091
Caption: Hey, Clyde. Wanna go hang out on the roof? Don’t you do that with Susan? Where she at? She's not talking to me right now. I told her I couldn't just take Joss Whedon's wife's account of their marriage at face value, because people sometimes don't tell the entire truth. Them's your mistake, bruh. You shoulda had just one thing to say 'bout the whole issue: "I don't care 'bout that." I think that's a dangerous philosophy. If something's in the news we've got to care. Wanna know why? I don't care 'bout that.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-30 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-30 Pub. Date: 2017-08-30
Image Number: 162089
Caption: What do you mean you don't take Joss Whedon's ex-wife's article at face value? She wrote that he cheated on her for years. That settles everything. No it doesn't. All we heard is her side of the story. And she said at one point she moved away from her personal values to get closer to him. What does that mean. I'll tell you what it might mean: It might mean she knew more than she's letting on, but she was ok with it all the way until he decided to divorce her. Only then did she go back and rewrite history to portray herself as the totally unsuspecting victim. Is this about how your ex lied to the court about you? Is this about how your ex cheated on you?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-29 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-29 Pub. Date: 2017-08-29
Image Number: 162088
Caption: I read that article you wrote about how DC bringing Joss Whedon to "lighten up" the Justice League movie is endemic of America's refusal to confront harsh realities. How could you, Lemont? What, you don’t agree? Remember how upset America got when Batman V. Superman didn't have enough jokes amidst all the carnage? No, I mean how could you write anything about the philandering cad after his wife published an article about how he cheated on her for 15 years! Don't say anything if you know what's good for you. I think this is a debate I can win.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-10 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-10 Pub. Date: 2017-07-10
Image Number: 160219
Caption: What're you doing, Susan? That's her! That's that chick Lemont's dating! I'd know that face anywhere!! Look, I have something important to ask you, Susan. But that's not Lemont! Where are you going? This isn't any of your business. I'm just going to have a calm, woman-to-woman chat with her about how she's mistreating my best friend. Why're you taking off your heels and earrings? No reason. Marry me.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-13 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-13 Pub. Date: 2017-03-13
Image Number: 155652
Caption: My wife keeps trying to get me to stop drinking, stop smoking, stop yelling at the kids … stop forgetting her birthday, stop insulting her mother, and stop leaving the seat up. So I told her "if you really love someone, you don't try to fundamentally transform them." And what'd she say? She said I could fundamentally transform the couch into my bed. Time.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-19 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-19 Pub. Date: 2017-02-19
Image Number: 154023
Caption: What brings you back to therapy? I have a tough time figuring out whom to trust. I read on Facebook that Hillary Clinton was part of a secret group that baked little kittens into pies. And I believed it. But then I read on my Twitter that Facebook was full of fake news, so I believed that and stopped believing the kitten pie story. Then someone at my wife's work sent me an anonymous email telling me she was cheating on me, and I believed it. But then she told me not to worry because the guys she takes weekly business trips with is gay ... and I believed it. I think I have some horrible disorder where I believe whatever the last person told me. I don't think so. Me neither.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-12 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-12 Pub. Date: 2017-02-12
Image Number: 153753
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. And you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. "Your life being over" IS one condition. Note to self: Never, ever, ever say "take me back."
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-16 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-16 Pub. Date: 2016-10-16
Image Number: 149095
Caption: It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes even three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills? They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-07 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-07 Pub. Date: 2016-06-07
Image Number: 144220
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." Brian, Linda accuses you of stepping out in her with her mother. I ain't never do that, Maury! I ain't never do that, Maury! I ain't never do that, Maury! Lie detector results are in, and they show that you … DID have relations with her mother. Sometimes you just need a break from the stupidity of the Donald Trump elections. Shh! They 'bout to say it Brian's son also be Brian' brother-in-law.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-24 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-24 Pub. Date: 2016-01-24
Image Number: 137727
Caption: I told my wife all about us, Jenny, and she left me. That means we can finally be together, like we wanted. All the things we dreamed about over Facebook can finally come true. We can finally take that long walk along the beach … make love under the night sky on a bed of roses ... dress like big teddy bears and mud-wrestle ... All the beautiful things that we alone dared to dream are finally about to happen, Jenny. No ... this isn't Robert ... No ... this isn't Sam ... Jenny, are you joking with m -- No, this isn't Randy ...
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-29 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-29 Pub. Date: 2015-05-29
Image Number: 127504
Caption: She's making things up. I always listen to her. … or whatever it is she just said I never do. Ph.D. M.A. Couple's therapy.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-05 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-05 Pub. Date: 2015-04-05
Image Number: 124640
Caption: Sometimes I think you don't really like my mother. When I told you she's coming to stay with us for a month … you didn't say anything for five whole seconds. And then all you said was "ok." It would've been nice if you'd been enthusiastic and happy, and talked about all the fun things we'll do with her, and about how grateful you are she wants to spend time with us. I just don't relish the thought of having two people in our house who judge my every word. There you go with the five seconds again. You're such a jerk. Being single is underrated.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-09 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-09 Pub. Date: 2015-03-09
Image Number: 123668
Caption: My wife keeps trying to get me to stop drinking, stop smoking, stop yelling at the kids … stop forgetting her birthday, stop insulting her mother, and stop leaving the seat up. So I told her "If you really love someone, you don't try to fundamentally transform them." And what'd she say? She said I could fundamentally transform the couch into my bed.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-19 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-19 Pub. Date: 2015-02-19
Image Number: 123054
Caption: Why would you ask if I fooled around with Sasha Mitchell? Because you once told me she was the love of your life. Because three years ago, you two were texting and Facebooking all the time. Because you told me you called it off after you found out she was married. ... And because I just found out she's been divorced for two years. There can be only one reason you and she didn't run off together as soon as her divorce was final. Stop trying to put two and two together, you're terrible at math. Homewrecker!
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-12 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-12 Pub. Date: 2015-01-12
Image Number: 121384
Caption: Taxville Tax Preparation. Put us down as "married, filing miserable."
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-16 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-16 Pub. Date: 2014-11-16
Image Number: 118343
Caption: Let me get this straight: Lately you've been refusing to be intimate with your wife because … Ebola. Dr. Noodle. I just think it's irresponsible to put oneself at risk during this time of national emergency. Ph.D. Do you have any reason to believe she's been exposed to the virus? Well, she's been to an Ebola-infested region. I watched "Dallas" on Netflix. That's not the same thing. We have a 4k TV. It's just like being there. WTH. I think until she's been quarantined for 26 weeks, I should stay in the den by myself and watch football. He can stay in there for 26 years for all I care. That's overkill. Football's only 26 weeks. S.M.H.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-31 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-31 Pub. Date: 2014-08-31
Image Number: 115090
Caption: I called my ex-wife and told her I forgive her for leaving me for Guillermo Cabonabong. Wow. After five years? Something told me it was time to forgive. Well, I told you back then, holding onto resentment is only going to hurt you. I'm glad my advice finally sunk in. It's not that, doc. Yesterday, Facebook suggested I add Guillermo Cabonabong as a friend. I quit. When even Facebook says it's time to move on, it's time to move on.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-12 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-12 Pub. Date: 2014-08-12
Image Number: 114926
Caption: Dating's so much harder now that I have a child, Susan. I'm not just looking for someone who'll make ME happy. I'm looking for someone who'll be good for my SON, too. That pressure makes most of my dates end in miserable failure. Your dates have always ended in miserable failure, Lemont. Well, I've always known I'd someday be a father.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-20 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-20 Pub. Date: 2014-07-20
Image Number: 113319
Caption: It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills. They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-04 marital 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-04 Pub. Date: 2014-04-04
Image Number: 109565
Caption: How come I never see any photos of your son, Lemont? Susan … the custody agreement specifically says I can't show you any pictures of him. His mom despised you. She once said the reason we weren't working out was because I was always comparing her to you in my head. What'd you say back? I said "Susan would never say anything that paranoid."
     
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