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Rudy Park

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Result page:  Previous  1  2  3  4  5  6  7   9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  Next  (356 images)


141. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-14 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-14 Pub. Date: 2016-12-14
Image Number: 152124
Caption: Today's alpha-lesson is "Keep a journal." The average person lets life pass them by. The events of their lives fade into nothingness. An alpha knows that long after they're gone, their thoughts and experiences will be of great interest to historians. That's not an original thought. I read it in the papyrus Randus Maximus XIV left in a safe deposit box after he helped conquer Judea.
     
142. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-13 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-13 Pub. Date: 2016-12-13
Image Number: 152123
Caption: Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. Is it manly to keep a diary? I've thought of journaling, to help me process all the unbearable horrors and losses I experience. Like when they discontinued the Sega Genesis. I bet journaling would've helped me through that difficult time of my life. "Difficult time of your life"? Instead, I sank deep into depression, refused to speak, and painted my Apple Newton black.
     
143. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-04 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-04 Pub. Date: 2016-12-04
Image Number: 150908
Caption: I'll trade you my phone for a latte. Pardon? You'll love it. It's vintage. A collector's item. It's from 1998. I bought it from a really old man in a magic shop last year. No deal. Come on! It's not like the shop vanished as soon as I left it. And it's not like I keep getting mysterious late-night calls on it from people in 1998 who keep telling me jokes I've already heard a million times. And it's not like the magic shop man told me I can only get rid of the phone by selling it or trading it. Rriiing! Rriiing! Rriiing! If it's Sinbad, tell him I'm not here! No deal.
     
144. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-03 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-03 Pub. Date: 2016-12-03
Image Number: 151573
Caption: I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.
     
145. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-30 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-30 Pub. Date: 2016-11-30
Image Number: 151570
Caption: I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.
     
146. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-29 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-29 Pub. Date: 2016-11-29
Image Number: 151569
Caption: I'm dropping you. I'm no longer going to be your personal "alpha male" trainer. What?! But … but … but I need you, Randy! I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to teach me. I'm nothing without you. Nothing! Great scott … it's like you didn't even read chapter one: Reject the Rejector. I can see we have a lot more work to do. Um ... I mean "Whatever. See you around."
     
147. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-28 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-28 Pub. Date: 2016-11-28
Image Number: 151568
Caption: Little buddy, you asked me to make sure you're following every step in "Randy's Guide to Being an Alpha Male." Go away, Randy! Have you read chapter 14? It's called "Yes, they are noticing how long you spend in the john." Go away! A decisive man has decisive bowels. Go away!
     
148. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-27 Pub. Date: 2016-11-27
Image Number: 150586
Caption: You've reached Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you? It's an emergency, Doctor Randy! I see a beautiful, sexy, confident, smiling lady at the end of the bar. Hold on, she … yeah she totally just looked at me. What do I do? Absolutely nothing. It took you 6.2 seconds to tell me she looked at you and to ask me what you should do about it. My exhaustive research has proven a man has only six seconds to respond affirmatively to a look of interest. After that, he'll either lose his nerve or whatever response he gives will seem rehearsed. Your best move now is Randy's Recovery #67: First, gaze off into the distance as if you're a tortured soul deep in self-reflection ... I can do that.
     
149. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-02 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-02 Pub. Date: 2016-11-02
Image Number: 150485
Caption: Minion, how would you like a promotion? Impostor! It's been a long time coming, but I've finally signed more than a dozen franchise agreements. And I'll like you to train all the managers. They'll be paying you the franchise fee in sacks of unmarked bills. Oh, and if they act like they think you're from Starbucks, go along with it. It's just a little game franchisees like to play. VERY BAD MAN.
     
150. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-30 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-30 Pub. Date: 2016-10-30
Image Number: 149731
Caption: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.
     
151. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-26 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-26 Pub. Date: 2016-10-26
Image Number: 150208
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? How do I talk my wife out of booking a vacation to Syria? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time I vacationed in the Monte Cassino monastery in Italy, in 1944. I had the entire place to myself … There was canasta, and Scrabble, and an excellent view of the Allied assault on the Germans' Gustav line. Man up! A little mortars and rubble never hurt anyone. They are offering discount packages.
     
152. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-09 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-09 Pub. Date: 2016-10-09
Image Number: 148888
Caption: What can I get you? An explanation for why we haven't gone back to the moon. Would you like the rational explanation or the Youtube explanation? Rational would be lovely, please. Ok. We never went back to the moon because there was no reason to. The whole point of Apollo was to reassure the free world that we could beat the Soviet Union. Mission accomplished. Oh ... that's it? Well, that's rather bland. Could I exchange that for the Youtube explanation? The lizard-men who live on the film set where we faked the landing asked us not to come back ... because they don't want us to realize the moon is actually a hollow spaceship they've projected onto the dome that covers our flat earth. Ooh, that's much more exciting.
     
153. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-08 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-08 Pub. Date: 2016-10-08
Image Number: 149323
Caption: Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool? That's one of those things you always see an alpha male do: Stand around a pool hall polishing his stick and racking up the balls … sizing up his shot, like he's secretly a geometric wizard who's about to make the whole world line up the way he wants it to with just one whack. Or maybe I should take up darts, where I myself become an extension of the missile I'm launching. Any sport in the bar family works.
     
154. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-07 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-07 Pub. Date: 2016-10-07
Image Number: 149322
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "John" in New York, you're on. What's your problem? House of Java Cybercafe. I keep thinking back to the first debate between Trump and crooked Hillary. The more I think about it, the more fantastic I think Trump did. He was strong. Tremendous. Big-league. Give it up, Donald! I know it's you! A real man can admit it when a girl mops the floor with him. Nobody mopped the floor with Trump! That's all a media conspiracy! Never happened!
     
155. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-21 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-21 Pub. Date: 2016-09-21
Image Number: 148781
Caption: We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you.
     
156. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-20 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-20 Pub. Date: 2016-09-20
Image Number: 148780
Caption: The economy's been recovering for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy … which means we still have time to get in on the despair action. "Despair action"? We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more "sale" items, debt consolidation loans ... Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy. Ha ha hoo hoo hee -
     
157. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-13 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-13 Pub. Date: 2016-09-13
Image Number: 148486
Caption: You're doing too much, Mort. I don't know what you mean. Optimum scruffiness is a delicate balance. One cannot have both wild hair and a wild mustache. It must be one or the other. What about Einstein? He was behaired all over the place. The only exceptions are for hobos, bikers and the big-brained. I rode my Huffy here, does that count?
     
158. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-05 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-05 Pub. Date: 2016-09-05
Image Number: 148226
Caption: Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally. I've topped myself, minion. It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence; we have to simultaneously tear down the competition. Behold: My masterpiece. "100 percent of those who drink coffee King's coffee will die." Best part is it's technically true.
     
159. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-04 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-04 Pub. Date: 2016-09-04
Image Number: 147195
Caption: Today's man lesson is "The Art of Promising." I'm ready. Part one: Never … promise … anything. Wait … What do you mean? Pretend you're the lady, ask me to promise you something. Ok … (ahem) … Promise me you won't ever even look at another woman? A man would have to be crazy to look at another woman when he could be looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. And I'm not crazy. Notice, if you will, not only is there a complete absence of a promise ... there are also at least four iron-clad loopholes built in. Can you identify them? This is worse than math to me.
     
160. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-03 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-03 Pub. Date: 2016-09-03
Image Number: 147936
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! The Olympics. When I was a kid, the Olympics brought us all together. But now, they were a chance for us to look down on Rio, for people to condemn a medalist for not looking patriotic enough, and for a swimmer to blame the locals for his own thuggery. That's nothing. I'm just upset the men's shorts aren't as teensy as they were in yesteryear. Um ... o ... kay ...
     
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