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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about men.

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121. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-05 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-05 Pub. Date: 2017-05-05
Image Number: 157562
Caption: Boss … Armstrong … I created a "Trump Generator." You input questions, and it outputs random nouns and adverbs strung together with words like "fantastic." I put it online a few days ago, and already it's getting 500,000 visitors per day. I guess what I'm asking is, why do all Trump's answers all of a sudden end with "visit House of Java Cafe, it's tremendous. It's run by a very smart man named Armstrong." I have no idea what you're talking about. By the way, did you know Russian hackers are surprisingly cheap on Craigslist? Very bad man!!!
     
122. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-21 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-21 Pub. Date: 2017-04-21
Image Number: 157028
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! I've been dating this man for 17 years. How do I get him to pop the big question? Which "big question" is that? "Hey, how come I'm not getting any lovin'?" … or "Hey, where are you going with all your luggage?" ... or "Hey, who's that guy and why are you riding him piggyback and kissing on his neck like that?" Get a clue, lady, he doesn't want you. Move on. Maybe I should give him more time.
     
123. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-14 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-14 Pub. Date: 2017-04-14
Image Number: 156750
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with a Russian man. But ever since this Trump-Russia story broke, there's been tension. How do I keep politics from getting in the way of romance? You don't. You incorporate it. Try role play ... wait ... is this Trump? Trump would never call your failed advice "business."
     
124. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-06 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-06 Pub. Date: 2017-04-06
Image Number: 156486
Caption: As our CEO-in-Chief has demonstrated, it's good for a businessman to surround himself with children who'll cover for … I mean, help him. I've tried adopting a baby, but the agency grew suspicious just because I asked for the type least likely to sell out its parent. Unfortunately, I can't just clone myself. I need an actual mate if I want to produce accomplices ... I mean "off-spring." Your job, minion, is to craft a date-a-dude.com profile for me that'll recruit ... I mean "attract" a suitable mate. Very bad man.
     
125. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-02 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-02 Pub. Date: 2017-04-02
Image Number: 155501
Caption: I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's all part of my best-selling "MAN-ual" series.
     
126. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-20 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-20 Pub. Date: 2017-03-20
Image Number: 155925
Caption: You wanted to see me, boss? Come in, minion. My 13-year contract with Barely Secure Alarm and Donuts is about to expire. I'm tired of paying their exorbitant $7.99 annual fee. From now on, you're going to be the café's alarm system. We'll attach the doors to your eyelids by twine, and if anyone opens a door, you'll know. I'll have to deduct the cost of twine from your check, but I'm sure you can write that off. Very bad man.
     
127. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-12 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-12 Pub. Date: 2017-03-12
Image Number: 154923
Caption: I can't believe I missed out on the whole beard craze last year. I'm not making the same mistake this year. What do you think of my reverse-beard? I do believe I'm the first person to rock one of these babies. Well … "Well" what? To "rock" something is also very last-year, if you ask me. Oh. You're right. And "babies" is kind of outdated too. I do believe I'm the first person to classical one of these elderlies. Keep trying.
     
128. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-17 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-17 Pub. Date: 2017-02-17
Image Number: 154554
Caption: Really? You're hiring me back to replace the robot you just replaced me with? I've had a change of heart, minion. It may be cheaper to automate my café. But it dawned on me that robots don't buy very many drinks. Plus, as much as I try to let the bottom line guide me, I am, deep down, a very compassionate man. I couldn't bear the thought of you being poor and miserable. Maybe he's not such a bad man. Plus, one accidental incineration of a customer and the authorities get all weird about it.
     
129. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-13 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-13 Pub. Date: 2017-02-13
Image Number: 154550
Caption: Hey boss, why's there a Roomba scooting around the café with a tray of drink and a credit card reader? Oh … you notices that? Don't be concerned, minion. There's only one Rudy Park. By the way, interesting bit of trivia for no particular reason: Have you heard that we're losing most of our jobs, and people who still have jobs can't get a raise, not 'cause of outsourcing ... not 'cause of immigration ... but 'cause of robots? Anyway, go plug in Roomba Park for a little while. He needs recharging. Very bad man.
     
130. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-10 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-10 Pub. Date: 2017-02-10
Image Number: 154259
Caption: You're a hard man to read, Randy. At times, you seem like a cad. A Don Juan. A scoundrel. But at other times, you seem wise. Mature. Supportive. Ladies are most responsive to a "bad guy" to "good guy" ratio of 7 to 6.3756892. My findings have been published in the Oxford Journal of Lovin'.
     
131. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-03 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-03 Pub. Date: 2017-02-03
Image Number: 153981
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? I caught my wife with another man, and I threw her out. But ever since, she's been telling me I didn't see what I know I saw. She said he was only performing acupuncture. I said "There were no needles," and she said "Yes there were." I said "What kind of acupuncturist doesn't wear clothes?" and she said "He was wearing clothes." And she say it like she really believes it ... which makes me think maybe I did imagine it. Believe your eyes, you ninny! She said her "alternative facts" were just as valid as mine. Maybe she has a point.
     
132. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-02 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-02 Pub. Date: 2017-02-02
Image Number: 153980
Caption: I heard you got sixteen phone numbers at the women's march. Shame! Well, you heard wrong, Sadie. I got 1,600. But it's not what you think. I'm helping to create a vast network of people to fight all the coming anti-woman legislation. Oh. Well … all right, then. Where'd you put all those numbers, some sort of computer machine? No, I put 'em right here. I know a little black book when I see one! It's an iPhone.
     
133. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-01 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-01 Pub. Date: 2017-02-01
Image Number: 153979
Caption: Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. How come you were at the women's march? Was it to pick up women? Of course not. Then why were you doused in cologne and your mustache was combed, and you had on your tightest jeans, and your chest hairs were coiffed and glistening? There's a difference between being there to pick up women, and being there not to not pick up women. I see. I think.
     
134. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-18 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-18 Pub. Date: 2017-01-18
Image Number: 153430
Caption: You've reached Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you? I'm about to leave the country. I'm taking a four-year cruise around the world. I should be back on or after January 21st, 2021. But I can only afford a ticket for myself, not for my wife. How do I explain to her that she's going to have to stay behind? Before I answer: Is this by any chance related to Donald Trump's upcoming inauguration? It's every man for himself.
     
135. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-17 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-17 Pub. Date: 2017-01-17
Image Number: 153429
Caption: Three days, minion. Three more days of crimes against nature, otherwise known as "rules and regulations." As a great but misguided man once said, "You have meddled with the primal forces of nature! And you … will atonnnnnnne!" Did you hear all that bass in my voice, minion? Come the morn of January 20th, you will hear that rumble across the land. You may want to bow down to me at this point, since I'm expecting Mr. Trump to name me feudal lord of this township. Very bad man.
     
136. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-10 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-10 Pub. Date: 2017-01-10
Image Number: 153093
Caption: You know how I was watching "Highway to Heaven" on Youtube? Yeah. You loved it, but then once you saw that "Birds of a Feather" episode, you hated it. Yeah. But now I love it again, because of season 2 episode 18: "To Bind the Wounds." Particularly the scene starting at 36 minutes and 11 seconds, and the rest of the way through. By the end of it, I was sobbing like a baby. I don't think there's anything worse than a grown man sobbing at his iPhone. You can see me sob at the 43:28 mark in my reaction video that I posted to Youtube.
     
137. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-06 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-06 Pub. Date: 2017-01-06
Image Number: 152865
Caption: Mort tells me he used to be a bold man. I was. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. He tells me he was an assertive man. Very. Well where is THAT Mort! I want that Mort! Be assertive! I command it!!! Assertive my left foot. I'm being assertive by refusing to be assertive.
     
138. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-05 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-05 Pub. Date: 2017-01-05
Image Number: 152864
Caption: Well first of all, he can't find anything, ever. I have to find the man's socks, his toothbrush … Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. And he'll tell me he's hungry in the morning. Then he'll go in the other room, and in the evening he comes back in and tells me he's starving. It's like as soon as we got married, the man became so stupid he can't even remember how to slap some peanut butter on a cracker. No, I said tell me his good points. Those are his good points. Foul!
     
139. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-01 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-01 Pub. Date: 2017-01-01
Image Number: 152000
Caption: Quadruple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. Doctor's orders. Doctors schmoctors. What do those ivy league elitists know? Pardon? If I think caffeine's exactly what I need, who are they to tell me otherwise? They're your doctors. How condescending of these arrogant "doctors" to think they know more than I do about my own bone strength and blood pressure. This is Donald Trump's America. Where the homespun beliefs of the common man trump the knowledge of specialists. Make my coffee great again!!! Nice try, Uncle Mort.
     
140. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-27 Pub. Date: 2016-12-27
Image Number: 152643
Caption: Rudy, I've noticed your upsells have fallen drastically over the last 16 years. More and more, you just give customers what they ask for instead of pushing them to buy a larger cup, an extra cookie, or a 3-minute bathroom pass. That is unacceptable. So I've signed you up for my mandatory "How to Upsell" course and ordered you the reading material. Tuition fees will be deducted from your check. As your first lesson, I've upgraded you from the 2-week course to the 15-day one for just $50 extra. Very bad man.
     
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