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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about men.

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201. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-22 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-22 Pub. Date: 2016-03-22
Image Number: 140827
Caption: Boss, I just found out about a death in the family. Can I have some time off? Of course you can. The amount you may have depends on the distance of the relation. If it was a parent, you can have one full day. 18 hours for a sibling, 9 hours for a cousin ... but only if it's your first cousin. Your Facebook post says it was your fourth cousin thrice removed. That'll get you 45 seconds of bereavement time. Very bad man.
     
202. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-17 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-17 Pub. Date: 2016-03-17
Image Number: 140524
Caption: Boss, the weirdest thing happened this morning. Someone threw a brick through my window at 4:30 a.m. Shocking. Horrible. Calamitous. Thank goodness you weren't hurt. On the bright side, since you were woken up, you managed to come in to work on time for the first time in months. Very. Bad. Man. There's a silver lining in everything, minion.
     
203. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-15 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-15 Pub. Date: 2016-03-15
Image Number: 140522
Caption: I just edited your Wikipedia entry. I still have no idea what that means. Tap tap tap tap tap. It means you're now the longtime mistress of Donald Trump. At least, you were … until he discovered your pattern of credit card fraud, your obsession with taxidermies squirrels, and your cloven hooves. In my day, when a man spoke gibberish while staring at a little box, he was institutionalized. Tweeting a link aaand ... it's already gone viral.
     
204. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-08 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-08 Pub. Date: 2016-03-08
Image Number: 140198
Caption: I had my shirt on backward all day. Why didn't you tell me?! I was too busy being impressed, little buddy. You were defying social norms. Walking to the beat of your own drummer. Soaring to the flapping of your own wings. When I see a man with his shirt on backward, I don't correct him. I applaud him. How about when you see a woman with her shirt on backward? I applaud her too, even though there's an increased risk of misunderstanding-related slappage.
     
205. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-05 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-05 Pub. Date: 2016-03-05
Image Number: 139847
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 a.m., minion. I try not to wonder. After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7. We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep. Not true. By being closed at 3a.m., we're missing out on the potentially lucrative Igor the Wino clientele. Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon. Very bad man.
     
206. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-28 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-28 Pub. Date: 2016-02-28
Image Number: 139003
Caption: I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to play!" We've got some week-old coffee I haven't thrown out yet. That's pretty dangerous. Gimme a large and keep it coming.
     
207. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-23 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-23 Pub. Date: 2016-02-23
Image Number: 139579
Caption: How many people do you think will mourn for you when you're dead, Randy? Good question, little buddy. I live out loud. I've ridden a motorcycle across five continents, making countless friends along the way. I've conducted passionate love affairs in six languages, and taught the ancient art of seduction to sold-out crowds in two hemispheres. As a youth I delivered pizza to lonely housewives, for whom I host an annual reunion in Vegas. A man who lives his life out loud will leave thousands of mourners when he dies. What about a man who lives his life on mute?
     
208. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-22 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-22 Pub. Date: 2016-02-22
Image Number: 139578
Caption: Boss, I don't see why I should have to wear this black armband. Out of respect, Rudy. We're in mourning. When Supreme Court Justice Scalia passed away, we lost one of the men who ruled once and for all that corporations are people and money is speech. He was, quite possibly, the greatest American who ever lived. Well ... no one can even see the armband, 'cause my shirt's black too. Off with your shirt, minion. That's an order.
     
209. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-18 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-18 Pub. Date: 2016-02-18
Image Number: 139255
Caption: I don't know how to tell you this, but … I've been watching "Supergirl." Nothing wrong with that. A real man isn't afraid to look up to a woman hero. Women heroes are the best, because not only do they have to conquer villains, they also have to put up with those villains ogling them. Captain America never had to tell The Red Skull "Hey, my face is up here" while he was pummeling him. Women superheroes are also paid less. ... Except Wonder Woman. The last guy who tried to pay her less was never heard from again.
     
210. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-17 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-17 Pub. Date: 2016-02-17
Image Number: 139254
Caption: You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that? Many times. How would you like to be the "after" image in my new ad touting the health benefits of our new nonfat kale macchiato. Let me guess: You'd also like an old picture of me where I was weak and puny, so you can claim that's the "before" picture. Don't worry, I've got that part covered. Something about you looked different today, Rudy. Would you like fries with that observation?
     
211. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-16 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-16 Pub. Date: 2016-02-16
Image Number: 139253
Caption: I've decided I'm going to be positive all the time. What do you mean? Every major religion believes it's possible to speak things into existence. If you say you're a failure, you eventually become a failure. But if you SAY you're a winner over and over again, you can actually talk the universe into believing it. It'll make you a winner no matter how often you go bankrupt. So you agree Trump's going to win?
     
212. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-08 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-08 Pub. Date: 2016-02-08
Image Number: 138883
Caption: You want to see me, boss? Yes, minion. Something fishy is going on. Donald Trump lost the Iowa caucuses. That morning, he held an event in "Waterloo, Iowa." It can't be a coincidence. The universe apparently has a sense of irony. No tyrant, demagogue, or would-be despot is safe. I'm going to give you a bag of money. You're going to go to city hall and bribe my lackeys to change the name of our street to something other than "Indicted Ave." Very bad man.
     
213. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-07 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-07 Pub. Date: 2016-02-07
Image Number: 138065
Caption: I'm thinking of open-carrying. Forget it, little buddy. The last thing anyone needs is for you to be running around armed. You don't know the first thing about firearm safety. Who said anything about firearms? I'm talking about open-carrying my iPad. STOP! There's nothing more disgusting than a geek who thinks he's a technology cowboy wearing his gadgets like they're weapons. Stop the madness! What do you think, Randy: Hip holster, thigh holster, or shoulder sling? STOP!!! A real man would just dangle it from his belt.
     
214. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-03 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-03 Pub. Date: 2016-02-03
Image Number: 138612
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything. I think it's about time our café took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay. That's why I've arranged for you to hand "campaign donations" to several city councilmembers. This doesn't have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it? People should never have to forego life's finer things just to go to the beach.
     
215. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-01 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-01 Pub. Date: 2016-02-01
Image Number: 138610
Caption: I'm trying to pinpoint the exact moment in history when men were their most manly. There are hundreds of variables to consider. My initial calculations showed it was the "greatest generation" circa 1945 in all the allied countries. But then I realized I'd forgotten about the high-waisted pants. When I factored that in, they fell a few decimal points behind Genghis Khan's Mongol horde. But then I realized I'd forgotten to carry the "1." Never forget to carry the "1."
     
216. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-27 Pub. Date: 2016-01-27
Image Number: 138315
Caption: Boss, North Korea's dictator just tweeted that he's considering launching nuclear missiles. He released a map of targets. The map shows that every part of the country will either be destroyed or irradiated. Except for this café. There are like 80 people out there with sleeping bags already. Did you rename the scones "Survival Biscuits," as I instructed? And did you know six-year-old geniuses will hack a head of state's Twitter account in return for a single bag of Doritos? Very bad man.
     
217. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-25 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-25 Pub. Date: 2016-01-25
Image Number: 138313
Caption: I have this really bad itch on my net … What? I said … I have this really embarrassing itch on my nethers and … Speak up, I can't hear you. I said, I have this really embarrassing itch on my nether regions, and wondered if you've ever had that too. I'd keep it down if I were you. Thanks a lot. Thirteen people have already tweeted it.
     
218. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-19 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-19 Pub. Date: 2016-01-19
Image Number: 137963
Caption: SPOILER ALERT! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about "Star Wars." You don't have to say "spoiler alert," minion. It's been a month. Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive. In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences. Um ... never mind.
     
219. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-17 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-17 Pub. Date: 2016-01-17
Image Number: 137204
Caption: A-HA! What? What do you mean "a-ha"? You know how you told me there's a difference between your pumpkin-ginseng latte and your ginseng-pumpkin latte? Well, I gave samples of each to my cousin who's a scientist in the tastebud studies department at Candorville University. He put them through the most rigorous tests known to man, and guess what the results showed? This cafe officially has no knowledge of any abnormal amounts of fluoride, heavy metals, disinfections byproducts, pharmaceutical drugs, rodent waste, or any other contaminants in our food or drink. I was going to say the tests found they're the same drink. This cafe has specifically never even heard of chromium, uranium or perfluorooctanoic sulfonate.
     
220. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-15 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-15 Pub. Date: 2016-01-15
Image Number: 137685
Caption: Rudy, you didn’t show up for the mandatory employee diversity training workshop. You were serious about that? I thought it was a joke. I mean, I'm your only employee. No you're not. There's also Larry the Local Safety Inspector; and Jurgi, the Lithuanian orphan who weaves out coffee cups from my shredded documents. ... And Guillermo, my lackey on the city council. Very bad man. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-14).
     
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