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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about men.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-17 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-17 Pub. Date: 2017-12-17
Image Number: 165604
Caption: Do you know why I love Star Trek, minion? We called me in at 2am to talk about this? It's because it's a lefty-liberal utopia. They've eliminated scarcity. There's all the food and shelter anyone could ever want, so there's no more need for capitalism. They flat-out say there's no such concept as money in their society. And yet we've seen them buy things. With money. Plenty of times. It's absolute proof that people never truly have to live up to the ideals they espouse, and that's always been an inspiration to me. Now get back out there and remember, the customer is always right!* Service with a smile.* Providing a quality product is its own reward.* You're a very good man.*
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-06 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-06 Pub. Date: 2017-12-06
Image Number: 165717
Caption: Rudy, how come you're not wearing the new uniform? You were serious? You seriously want me to dress like a robot? Of course I do, minion. My nightly perusal of customers' web searches indicates most of them are feeling a bit antisocial lately. They'd probably buy more coffee from a robot than a human. Oh wait ... new web searches coming in. I'm going to need you to dress like a sexy robot. Very bad man.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-28 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-28 Pub. Date: 2017-11-28
Image Number: 165441
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: "Comeuppance." Specifically, we'll talk about how the tables have finally turned on men who've preyed on women for generations. It reminds me of the last time there was such a dramatic reversal of the social order. The place: France. The year: 1789. Great-great-great-great-great-grandma Sadie had just invented the guillotine. Ironically, she'd invented it as a new way to cut cake.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-27 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-27 Pub. Date: 2017-11-27
Image Number: 165440
Caption: Where've you been all weekend, Randy? Tibet. Women are coming out of the woodwork to exact justice on men who sexually harassed them years or decades ago. I wanted to know if I owe anyone an apology. So I climbed the tallest mountain and asked a monk to help me meditate, so I could retrieve crystal-clear memories of every time I ever flirted with a woman. Turns out the monk had to resign because he's sexually harassed someone. What the -- ... wait ... No, I'm actually not surprised anymore.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-24 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-24 Pub. Date: 2017-11-24
Image Number: 165180
Caption: Minion, I'm ordering you not to talk about alternate histories with the customers. No more "what if feudalism never happened" nonsense. If people start thinking things could've been different, they'll soon start thinking things could've been better. Which could lead to them thinking things can still get better. This "gap between rich and poor" thing is working out in my favor. I don't want your talk of alternate pasts to accidentally create any alternate futures. Very bad man.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-22 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-22 Pub. Date: 2017-11-22
Image Number: 165178
Caption: Disney's trying to buy Fox. If they did that, then all of Marvel's best heroes would be in the MCU. It would be horrible! The whole Marvel cinematic universe is one big story told by dozens of movies. This would, like, triple the amount of movies I'd have to watch! I'd have to watch every X-Men spinoff to make sure I got every reference made in any Thor or Avengers movie, for instance. HOJ. Your definition of "have to" and my definition of "have to" are very different. I'd have to see them all in 3-D. I'd have to get a second job to afford that.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-18 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-18 Pub. Date: 2017-11-18
Image Number: 164887
Caption: Warner Brothers put several whole scenes from "Justice League" up on Youtube. Wrong move. Ruins the mystery. To market a movie like this, one must be a mystery. An enigma. A reserved figure who gives the impression of a beast with rippling muscles lurking just below the veneer of a gentleman. Wait ... isn't that last part from your self-help book "Randy's Guide to Becoming a Mysterious Man"? You'd be surprised at how universally applicable these principles are, little buddy. Anyway, I feel like I've already seen the whole movie. Bored now.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-17 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-17 Pub. Date: 2017-11-17
Image Number: 164886
Caption: Rudy, it's come to my attention you've been using the restroom three times a day. Of course I have, boss. Did you not see the sign out front that says "restrooms are for customers only"? Seriously? I work here, boss. I've worked here for sixteen years! Good point. Calculating ... average customer spends $20 ... multiply by sixteen ... multiply by 365 ... I'll have to deduct $116,800 from your next several dozen paychecks. Very bad man.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-07 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-07 Pub. Date: 2017-11-07
Image Number: 164674
Caption: Hey boss, in light of all that's been happening in Hollywood and journalism, I just want to thank you. For what? Well, for a long time now, you've underpaid me, overworked me, threatened to replace me with undocumented workers or robots, made me an unwitting accomplice to money laundering for foreign oligarchs ... but you've never sexually harassed me. So for that, boss, I thank you. Only a fool would engage in an unprofitable ... I mean ... immoral ... activity. You're such a wonderful very bad man.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-26 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-26 Pub. Date: 2017-10-26
Image Number: 164162
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." Whets your problem?! Self-driving cars. They're being tested all over, and before we know it, there won't be people behind the wheels anymore. I'm terrified of that. Am I overreacting? Not at all, caller. Once we start flipping off robots instead of our fellow man, are we truly still human? Exactly!
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-23 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-23 Pub. Date: 2017-10-23
Image Number: 164159
Caption: Another powerful man uses his position to sexually harass women. At least it's better than back in your day, right? I wouldn't know. You see, the ladies didn't talk much about that, except to say Mr. So-and-So was a cad, or Mr. So-and-So was all hands. And the fellas didn't talk about it either. Except to say Ms. So-and-So was stuck up, or Ms So-and-So was frigid. It's like your generation was talking in code. You knew it was serious when Ms. So-and-So said Mr. So-and-So did this-and-that.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-20 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-20 Pub. Date: 2017-10-20
Image Number: 163919
Caption: Boss? Did you happen to start a Youtube channel? We have no proof of that, minion. But I came across a Youtube video called "Humiliate Your Employees for Fun and Profit." Sounds interesting. The guy giving advice in that video looks just like you. No he doesn't. He's got a huge mustache and an eye patch. I mean ... he sounds like he probably has a huge mustache and an eye patch. Very bad man.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-15 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-15 Pub. Date: 2017-10-15
Image Number: 163200
Caption: You look tired, Rudy. Nah, I'm actually not tired. Why don't you go take a break. I'll man the counter for you. That's ok, Uncle Mort. Look at those bags beneath your eyes. And … are those wrinkles I see there? Did you know you age faster if you don't sleep? I'm on to you, Uncle Mort. You want me to step away so you can fix yourself an Espresso. Your doctors said no caffeine. You sound paranoid, Rudy. You're seeing duplicity everywhere. That's a symptom of sleep deprivation. I'm just thinking about your well-being. You're getting very very tired!!! Nice try, Uncle Mort.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-08 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-08 Pub. Date: 2017-10-08
Image Number: 162958
Caption: What was it you wanted to talk about, minion? Boss, you called me in at 2a.m. to clean out the gutters. We don't have any gutters. Of course we don't have any gutters. I'm confused. When I ordered you to clean out the gutters, it was clearly implied that you're first supposed to install them. Am I supposed to do all your thinking for you, Rudy? This is very disappointing. This will impact your next weekly performance review. Anyway, you'd better get to it. How do you expect the cafe's rooftop garden to properly drain without gutters? We don't have a rooftop garden. Very bad man. How do you expect to placate the green-freaks once we install the oil wells without a rooftop garden.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-28 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-28 Pub. Date: 2017-09-28
Image Number: 163106
Caption: I really hope Medicare for all passes, little buddy. If it passes, no one will be forced to stay in a bad marriage just for the health insurance. There'll be million of men re-entering the dating scene. The competition will help me keep my skills honed. Of course, all the extra women on the scene might negate the challenge ... Maybe I should give this more thought. I'm worried that if it passes, I'll be able to get checked, and they'll remove my pulsating mole. Throbby? But you love Throbby.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-19 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-19 Pub. Date: 2017-09-19
Image Number: 162861
Caption: Armstrong, did you know that the Milky Way and Adromeda galaxies may already be colliding, billions of years early? A ginormous field of ionized hydrogen that gives birth to stars surrounds each galaxy like a halo. Andromeda's halo may have already caught up to ours. Ah, but of course. Andromeda has drawn first blood with a pre-emptive hostile takeover bid. Reminds me of that time I took over little Alice Chang's lemonade stand while she was napping. Very bad man.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-17 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-17 Pub. Date: 2017-09-17
Image Number: 162203
Caption: My Youtube channel's taking off. Mine too, little buddy. You have a Youtube channel? Of course, it's got 12.8 million subscribers. I accompanies my best-selling MANuals book series. I post a video per day. There's "Pickup Artist Mondays," "Man-Grooming Tuesdays," "Relationship Escape-Artist Wednesdays" ... "Become an Alpha in Five Minutes Thursdays" ... "New Advances in Speedos Fridays," and "Using Quantum Physics and the Multiverse Theory to Explain Why that Lady She Caught You with was Actually an Alternate Reality Version of Your Girlfriend So it's OK Saturdays." In other words, Saturdays are just fun stories about dumb guys who couldn't get away with dumb things. Viewership spikes to about 15 mil for those. Well ... anyway, like I was saying ... I'm just 87 subscribers away from hitting the 100-subscriber mark. Cool ... Hey, can I feature you on an upcoming "Stop Embarrassing Yourself Sunday"?
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-16 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-16 Pub. Date: 2017-09-16
Image Number: 162614
Caption: Boss, the customers are demanding to know why the muffins taste like ground cardboard. There was a sale on week-old organic oat bran and cardboard muffins. Should I tell them that? Depends. Are the men wearing lumberjack beards and hipster glasses? And are the women wearing Salvation Army clothes and hipster glasses? Yes. Tell them.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-12 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-12 Pub. Date: 2017-09-12
Image Number: 162610
Caption: Can I ask you something man-to-man? What's up? Let's say a … friend of mine … was so focused on building his corporate empire that he has very little time for romance. And let's say my … friend … hired a surrogate to seduce someone, get married, and have children ... all while wearing a hidden camera so I ... I mean, my friend ... could experience it vicariously. Would that be weird? Long talk ahead.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-25 man 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-25 Pub. Date: 2017-08-25
Image Number: 161810
Caption: Randy, do you think we're going to war with North Korea first or with Venezuela first? Neither one, little buddy. But … President Trump is threatening them both. Yes, but you're forgetting Randy's Axiom #467.1 … "Everything blows over when it's a small man making big threats, asterisk." "Asterisk"? Randy's axiom #467.2: "Those who want to sleep well never ask about the asterisk."
     
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