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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-12 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-12 Pub. Date: 2017-09-12
Image Number: 162610
Caption: Can I ask you something man-to-man? What's up? Let's say a … friend of mine … was so focused on building his corporate empire that he has very little time for romance. And let's say my … friend … hired a surrogate to seduce someone, get married, and have children ... all while wearing a hidden camera so I ... I mean, my friend ... could experience it vicariously. Would that be weird? Long talk ahead.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-12 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-12 Pub. Date: 2017-07-12
Image Number: 160227
Caption: You need to settle down, Randy. Take it from someone who spent most of his life as a jet-setting playboy. Ok … who? Are you going to introduce me to him? You've already met him! I'll have you know that I broke my first heart way back in nineteen and twenty-nine when I was a newsie in Brooklyn. Adelaide was an older lass of 16, so ours was a forbidden love. After we finally held hands, the commitment was just too much, so I skipped town and joined the circus. I think you did the right thing, Mort. I've left a long trail of broken hearts, from Brooklyn, to Shady Acres.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-21 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-21 Pub. Date: 2017-05-21
Image Number: 157666
Caption: Ask Sadie. Our resident surly lass answers actual reader questions sent to rudy@rudypark.com, and posts answers to www.rudypark.com. Dear Sadie, My husband keeps leaving his stuff all over the place and expecting me to pick up after him. How do I get through to him that this isn't the 1950s? - Angry in Anaheim. What is wrong with you?! He doesn't "expect you" to clean up after him! He doesn't care whether you leave his boxers on the coffee table or not. You are the one who cares. You are the only one who cares if things get picked up or not. He would only start caring at the point where the pile gets high enough to block his view of the tv. It's as if you've never even heard of the male species. Ask Sadie, baby!
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-02 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-02 Pub. Date: 2017-04-02
Image Number: 155501
Caption: I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's all part of my best-selling "MAN-ual" series.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-27 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-27 Pub. Date: 2017-02-27
Image Number: 155084
Caption: I was supposed to speak at Berkeley about my new book on male-female relations. What do you mean "supposed to"? A few students protested, and before we knew it, radical outside agitators from the Anti-Lovin' Brigade started throwing Molotov cocktails. Then everyone blamed the students, and Berkeley fell sixteen notches on the Princeton Review's list of party schools. I'm surprised you let some "brigade" shut down your speech, Randy. The cute brigadier's eyes and mine met across a burning quad ... Less surprised, now.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-02 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-02 Pub. Date: 2017-02-02
Image Number: 153980
Caption: I heard you got sixteen phone numbers at the women's march. Shame! Well, you heard wrong, Sadie. I got 1,600. But it's not what you think. I'm helping to create a vast network of people to fight all the coming anti-woman legislation. Oh. Well … all right, then. Where'd you put all those numbers, some sort of computer machine? No, I put 'em right here. I know a little black book when I see one! It's an iPhone.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-01 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-01 Pub. Date: 2017-02-01
Image Number: 153979
Caption: Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. How come you were at the women's march? Was it to pick up women? Of course not. Then why were you doused in cologne and your mustache was combed, and you had on your tightest jeans, and your chest hairs were coiffed and glistening? There's a difference between being there to pick up women, and being there not to not pick up women. I see. I think.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-14 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-14 Pub. Date: 2016-12-14
Image Number: 152124
Caption: Today's alpha-lesson is "Keep a journal." The average person lets life pass them by. The events of their lives fade into nothingness. An alpha knows that long after they're gone, their thoughts and experiences will be of great interest to historians. That's not an original thought. I read it in the papyrus Randus Maximus XIV left in a safe deposit box after he helped conquer Judea.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-03 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-03 Pub. Date: 2016-12-03
Image Number: 151573
Caption: I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-30 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-30 Pub. Date: 2016-11-30
Image Number: 151570
Caption: I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-29 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-29 Pub. Date: 2016-11-29
Image Number: 151569
Caption: I'm dropping you. I'm no longer going to be your personal "alpha male" trainer. What?! But … but … but I need you, Randy! I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to teach me. I'm nothing without you. Nothing! Great scott … it's like you didn't even read chapter one: Reject the Rejector. I can see we have a lot more work to do. Um ... I mean "Whatever. See you around."
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-28 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-28 Pub. Date: 2016-11-28
Image Number: 151568
Caption: Little buddy, you asked me to make sure you're following every step in "Randy's Guide to Being an Alpha Male." Go away, Randy! Have you read chapter 14? It's called "Yes, they are noticing how long you spend in the john." Go away! A decisive man has decisive bowels. Go away!
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-08 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-08 Pub. Date: 2016-10-08
Image Number: 149323
Caption: Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool? That's one of those things you always see an alpha male do: Stand around a pool hall polishing his stick and racking up the balls … sizing up his shot, like he's secretly a geometric wizard who's about to make the whole world line up the way he wants it to with just one whack. Or maybe I should take up darts, where I myself become an extension of the missile I'm launching. Any sport in the bar family works.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-27 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-27 Pub. Date: 2016-08-27
Image Number: 147679
Caption: Mort, I'm writing a case study about two diametrically opposed archetypes of your generation. Archetype number one: A bold, debonaire male the type that suffered no fools, lived life to the fullest, and pursued romance with tough, smart "dames" who kept him on his toes. And then there's archetype number two: Weak, insecure, afraid of life, and dominated by overbearing romantic partners who brought him to his knees. Ok. I'll participate. Who'd you find for archetype #2? You might want to ask Sadie if she'll let you participate, first.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-13 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-13 Pub. Date: 2016-07-13
Image Number: 145830
Caption: Bill Clinton keeps doing strange things. like meeting with the attorney general in private while his wife's under investigation. What was he thinking? It's as if he's trying to sabotage Hillary's campaign. He must've never read my book: The Alpha Male's Guide to Not Lousing Everything Up. Is that your book that just says "go home" on every page?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-05 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-05 Pub. Date: 2016-07-05
Image Number: 145515
Caption: Let me ask you a man-to-man question, Randy, asterisk. Shoot. Let's say you wake up, you look in the mirror, and you notice your first gray hair. Would it be manlier to immediately pluck it out and pretend it never happened, or would it be manlier to tell yourself it's actually blond? Armstrong, avoiding the truth is never manl ... wait ... "asterisk"? (Asterisk) By answering my question you enter into a binding non-disclosure agreement.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-24 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-24 Pub. Date: 2016-06-24
Image Number: 144913
Caption: Today's alpha-lesson is "Become a Vapor." Wherever you are, be it a broom closet or a baseball stadium, carry yourself as if your body fills the entire place. Greet people with you arms out wide. Have a wide stance. A booming laugh. A wide-open smile. Becoming a vapor is the best and most legal way to mark your territory.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-25 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-25 Pub. Date: 2016-05-25
Image Number: 143657
Caption: I've been giving some more thought to your question about in which era in history I'd most like to live. You have? I thought you never change your mind about anything. This is true. Randy's alpha male or female rule number 1: "Make a decision and stick with it even it it's really dumb." HOJ. " ... Appearing indecisive is the kiss of death." But you're forgetting the corollary ... "If you do change your mind, claim you've always believed as you do now." " ... and anyone who thinks otherwise is crazy." Can't believe I forgot that part.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-12 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-12 Pub. Date: 2016-04-12
Image Number: 141815
Caption: Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with another man's wife and he found out. We're all supposed to go to the same party next week. But now that he knows should I still go? Of course. Never run away. But what if he confronts me in front of everyone? I'd be so embarrassed. Just keep repeating Randy's seven golden man-words: "I don't know what you're talking about."
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-06 male 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-06 Pub. Date: 2016-04-06
Image Number: 141527
Caption: I'm announcing the debut of my new manual: "Randy's Movie-Watching for Alphas." Chapter One: The critics are all wrong or the critics are all right. You wouldn't know, because you don't pay any attention to film critics. You make up your own mind. Chapter Two: The snack bar doesn't exist to you. You're not some horse feeding at a trough.
     
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