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Frank and Ernest

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421. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-09-07 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-09-07 Pub. Date: 1997-09-07
Image Number: 69458
Caption: Hey, Ernie. Sorry I missed the talent show. How was it? Wee, things started out pretty slowly... Jack and Jill's act fell flat. And Little Miss Muffet has a terrible case of stage freight! and Cinderella? We ran late so she had to leave before performing. And then Rip Van Winkle put the audience to sleep! How about Humpty Dumpty? As usual, he was a bust. Boy. It sounds like every act bombed! Not the big bad wolf! The audience loved him? Liked him? He brought the house down!
     
422. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-08-13 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-08-13 Pub. Date: 1997-08-13
Image Number: 69335
Caption: Cards for all occasions. I'd like one that says "Congratulations" but makes it clear that it should have been me.
     
423. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-08-10 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-08-10 Pub. Date: 1997-08-10
Image Number: 69328
Caption: Frank, I rented out the last panel of today's strip for real estate advertising, so please don't screw this one up like last time! Ernie, you know I need to be in the last panel with the punch line! But I promise this time I won't do anything to change the ad. Houses For Rent - Houses For Rent - Houses For Rent ... Available September 1st Beautiful 2 BDRM - Available August 15th Sunny Beach House - Vacant Fixer-upper ... Well, Frank, you were right. This Ad still makes complete sense!
     
424. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-08-06 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-08-06 Pub. Date: 1997-08-06
Image Number: 69326
Caption: Tooth Fairy HQ. Ernie! Where are you going? Donald Trump's kid just lost her first tooth!
     
425. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-08-03 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-08-03 Pub. Date: 1997-08-03
Image Number: 69960
Caption: Heaven's Angels Baseball -- Coach! got time for a few qustions for the paper? Sure! I've got an eternity! Is it really true that no one on your team ever takes an extra base? Right! There's no stealing up here! And everyone always bunts? We're all used to making sacrifices. And your players walk a lot? I told you, this is eternity! Nobody's in a rush. Well, okay, but it's hard to believe that in your entire history, no player has ever made an error! Oh, of course they have! But up here, all errors are forgiven!
     
426. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-07-20 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-07-20 Pub. Date: 1997-07-20
Image Number: 69313
Caption: Hey, Ernie, you're directing a new play? Right! It's Wizard of Oz for the nineties. Okay. So what does the Scarecrow get? The latest in flame retardant clothing! What happens to the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man? The Tin Man makes a fortune by opening a chain of recyclig centers, and the Lion retires to a wildlife sanctuary. Great! But what about Dorothy? Does she still make it home? She sure does! And a seven-figure shoe endorsement deal!
     
427. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-07-13 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-07-13 Pub. Date: 1997-07-13
Image Number: 69304
Caption: Today we'll meet a struggling poet. Sir, how do you get enough to eat? Well, sometimes I'll finagle a bagel, or beg an egg. I see. And how do... Then again, I might bum a plum or forage for porridge. Okay, but... Of course, I might steal some veal or purloin a sirloin... I think we get the point... That's not to say, I don't have an eye for pie or dream about cream... And at times I pine for wine and wish for fish... Remind me again why I stopped covering sports.
     
428. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-06-08 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-06-08 Pub. Date: 1997-06-08
Image Number: 69239
Caption: Wow! It's a regular "Lover's Lane" down here! The Proton and the electron are really attracted to one another! Yeah. Those cholesterol molecules are inseperable. And those two carbon atoms have been out every night this week! More carbon-dating! There'll be a wedding and little carbon copies in no time! A wedding! Just make sure those white blood cells aren't invited again! Right. They'll pick a fight with anybody they don't recognize!
     
429. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-04-08 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-04-08 Pub. Date: 1997-04-08
Image Number: 69104
Caption: We've added some phony charges to your bill to make you seem more popular.
     
430. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-03-16 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-03-16 Pub. Date: 1997-03-16
Image Number: 69059
Caption: Hey, Ernie, look at our copyright date! It's March 16th! Tomorrow is Saint Patrick's Day! What are you bringing to my potluck dinner? Well, let's see, I've got lettuce, tomatoes, zucchini, pepper ... Stop, Ernie, Stop! You know I don't like salads in my mushrooms!
     
431. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-03-03 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-03-03 Pub. Date: 1997-03-03
Image Number: 69040
Caption: Just our luck! We've been assigned to the National Hockey League!
     
432. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-02-20 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-02-20 Pub. Date: 1997-02-20
Image Number: 69022
Caption: I haven't had a wink of sleep for 800 years! ... Never let them trap you in a coffee pot!
     
433. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-02-17 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-02-17 Pub. Date: 1997-02-17
Image Number: 69019
Caption: We've been looking for a way to give something back to the community, and we decided on you.
     
434. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-01-13 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-01-13 Pub. Date: 1997-01-13
Image Number: 68957
Caption: It was bound to happen eventually - Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella met and realized there was only one Prince Charming.
     
435. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-01-12 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-01-12 Pub. Date: 1997-01-12
Image Number: 68928
Caption: Look! Up in the sky! It's a Nerd! It's Inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man! You're late! I was at the dentist. But I rushed right over because I am the main extraction of this comic strip! How's the superhero business? Well, I just had a fierce battle with a Tthesaurus Rex that words cannot prescribe! And now I'm off to fight "Dry Cleaning Man." My starch enemy! So I must press on because I never shirt my duty! You seem a little confused, M-Man... did you have a general anesthetic at the dentist? No. I just got loco. That's the first thing you've said that makes sense.
     
436. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-01-08 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-01-08 Pub. Date: 1997-01-08
Image Number: 68953
Caption: Salt Lake City 200 Miles east. San Francisco 220 miles west. Well, Ernie, I guess this makes you the shortest point between two distances.
     
437. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1997-01-05 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1997-01-05 Pub. Date: 1997-01-05
Image Number: 68950
Caption: This advice columnist says most men are thoughtless beasts when they go out with women. She says we're uncivilized, uncouth slobs. Not me! I make it a point to never be rude or slovenly in the presence of the opposite sex! I'm saving myself for marriage.
     
438. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1996-12-19 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1996-12-19 Pub. Date: 1996-12-19
Image Number: 68933
Caption: Ernie, did you know we're going to have our own comic web site on the internet? Does that make us a couple of "netwits"?
     
439. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1996-11-20 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1996-11-20 Pub. Date: 1996-11-20
Image Number: 68896
Caption: I often repeat myself to make sure I heard correctly.
     
440. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 1996-09-22 make 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 1996-09-22 Pub. Date: 1996-09-22
Image Number: 68826
Caption: Look Frank, I found this Aladdin's Lamp! I'm going to make three wishes! Okay, but be careful what you wish for Ernie! First, I wish I were taller than you are! Oh no! This isn't what I meant! I wish we'd change back so you're taller that I am! Now you've done it! You've only got one wish left so choose your words cardfully! I wish we'd be changed back to our original size! Perhaps you should have defined "original" a little more precisely.
     
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