I think it's time this café showed its commitment to LGBT rights. Ok. How, boss? Well, there's all this controversy over whether to allow people who are transgender to choose which restroom they want to use. And I think the whole discussion is demeaning and insulting to them. It's divisive. We should all be coming together to recognize that now matter what we are - male, female, or whatever - we're all one people. That's why I'm eliminating the bathrooms altogether, and putting a bucket out in the alley. The immense amount of money I'll save on water, paper towels, and toilet maintenance has nothing to do with this. I assume I'll win some sort of award for this. Very bad man.