Glapptpl. Thanks, Biff, for that sports wrap-up. And in local news, a tragic updateï¿½mmmmllmnml. We reported earlier on some stupid boy who caught a lizard. They tried to feed it grass, but lizards eat bugs. They were so stupid, they didn't even know to punch holes in the lid until this reporter informed them. The lizard died earlier today. Although the police were informed by an anonymous source, they have so far refused to take action against the boys...Mnrmn.
Queen of the Universe
Hello. Thank you for joining us. I'm Trish Tringle and this is the newsï¿½In backyard news, some stupid boys caught a lizard. They tried to feed it leaves, but lizards eat bugs. The lizard is listed in critical condition. And now, here's Biff with the weather...We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please do not adjust your set...Mlmnrlr.