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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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Result page:    2  Next  (29 images)


1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-06 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-06 Pub. Date: 2017-10-06
Image Number: 163578
Caption: The Croupier. Place your bets … NRA. Live. Die. Wounded. Disabled. Your age at death. 9 15 21 35 51 62 71. Stay round. Accident. Police shooting. Insanity.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-12-07 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-12-07 Pub. Date: 2016-12-07
Image Number: 152021
Caption: Chinese Leaders Consult Sources Trying to Figure Out What the Hell is Going On. Saturday Night Live.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-04 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-04 Pub. Date: 2016-08-04
Image Number: 146972
Caption: No Lives Matter. Well, we don't want anyone calling us racist. NRA.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-07-07 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-07-07 Pub. Date: 2016-07-07
Image Number: 146016
Caption: Tony Blair sort of apologizes for the Iraq war disaster. And I want all those who were killed and wounded, and all the people who had their lives ruined to know that we got the whole thing wrong, and so I guess I am sort of sorry about that. W. And me, too, except that it was all Uncle Dick's fault.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-05-22 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-05-22 Pub. Date: 2016-05-22
Image Number: 143797
Caption: Horse Breaks Leg Before Preakness. This is gonna cost us, boss
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-05-19 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-05-19 Pub. Date: 2016-05-19
Image Number: 143624
Caption: New members. The GOP. Trump. Members only. Who am I? Hell, man, I live here now.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-10-25 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-10-25 Pub. Date: 2015-10-25
Image Number: 134512
Caption: GOP candidates Pataki, Graham, Jindal and Christie go trick or treating. We're not getting and candy or anything ... Maybe we better go in disguises. I could go as Carly. Perhaps our friend Christie has the right idea. Hey! You don't open hoop I'll send my boys over. I know where you live. I'll come in there and mess you up. I'll beat you like a rented traffic cone. Nice place you got here. Be a shame if anything happened to it. Hey!
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-08-11 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-08-11 Pub. Date: 2015-08-11
Image Number: 131124
Caption: The Koch Brothers Marvel at Their Fellow Americans. Look at that Charles. The black lives matter people are attacking the old liberal anti-billionaire guy and to think we were worried.
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-05-21 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-05-21 Pub. Date: 2015-05-21
Image Number: 128843
Caption: Well, you just be thankful you don't live in some awful place like Syria or Iraq, where gangs of heavily armed crazy people go around waging battles in public places Oh, wait, or Texas.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-05-18 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-05-18 Pub. Date: 2015-05-18
Image Number: 127363
Caption: What George Bush Would Have Done If He Had Known Then What He Knew If He Knew etc. Gee, Uncle Dick, some of this intelligence might be flawed War! War! War! I mean what if we find out later that it's wrong War! War! War! This is a serious decision involving the lives of millions of people ... War! War! War! I'm gonna go ride my bike and think about other things ... War! War! War! War! War! War!
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-01-29 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-01-29 Pub. Date: 2015-01-29
Image Number: 122632
Caption: Koch Brothers. Look at them down there, all the little people thinking they have any power over their lives. From here, they look like ants, don't they? Remember when we were boys, we used to kick anthills ...
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-01-04 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-01-04 Pub. Date: 2015-01-04
Image Number: 121200
Caption: In California, Chickens Must Get New Larger Living Space. Well, of course this means a total redecoration. You don't want to block the front window, my dear ... A bit to the right, no, no ... too much ... Ooh, they have this in eggshell. IKEA. Pottery Barn. That divan would need all new drapes. I know, you can't just do part of the space. I just ask myself what would Martha Stewart do if she was a chicken.
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-10-26 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-10-26 Pub. Date: 2014-10-26
Image Number: 118375
Caption: Sarah Palin Tells Why the Media Wants to Embarrass Her Family. It's the media's War on Women, look! Clockwise from top: Herself, Todd Palin, Mellow, Trek, Bristle, plus friends and neighbors, Trunk, Zillow, Follow, Trick, Trank, Truck, Pistol, Curly, Moe and Shemp. McCain Palin. Coors. McCain Palin. The dream lives! Artic kat. Get a brain morans. Beer. Old Milwaukee. 24 bottles. D.O.A.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-05-08 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-05-08 Pub. Date: 2014-05-08
Image Number: 111357
Caption: I hear the Veterans Administration is way behind in providing medical treatment. Yeah if you get wounded, immediately re-enlist for three years, so you'll have someplace to live until they call you.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-02-06 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-02-06 Pub. Date: 2014-02-06
Image Number: 107531
Caption: McConnell Lives! WAIT! I've just discovered! The issue that can save us is immigration reform! We're against it! Here Lies Mitch McConnell (as usual).
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-12-30 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-12-30 Pub. Date: 2013-12-30
Image Number: 106031
Caption: Whaddya mean you need a living wage? You're alive aren't you? Raise the minimum wage new! People before profits. A living wage!
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-07-23 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-07-23 Pub. Date: 2013-07-23
Image Number: 99696
Caption: If you can be born to people with money, a big family, lots of privilege, celebrity, in a land of peace, far from explosions and stray bullets, with enough food, security, schooling and decent chance of living for a while If you can
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-03-22 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-03-22 Pub. Date: 2013-03-22
Image Number: 96040
Caption: The Youth of Israel. Obama says we have to make our own future. Obama says a two state solution is necessary. Obama says military security is a myth. Obama says we have to make politicians do the right thing. Obama says peace is the only solution. Obama says today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Obama says ... Netanyahu.
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-09-18 live 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-09-18 Pub. Date: 2012-09-18
Image Number: 87678
Caption: Man Overboard! Look, Captain Romney! There they are! The forty-seven per cent who thing the government owes them a living. They are lazy slobs who don't take responsibility for themselves! Just like you said! Shhhh We may need their votes.
     
Result page:    2  Next  (29 images)