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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-19 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-19 Pub. Date: 2018-06-19
Image Number: 172355
Caption: twitter™ Twitter.comcandorville. @candorville - I read your article about the North Korea summit. I agree with you, the President didn't exactly make the best deal. He should've at least brought home some brand new heat resistant, gummy-flavored aluminum siding, as seen at tinyurl.com/c4eddh. The advertisers are getting sneakier and sneakier. That would have ensured world peace.
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-20 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-20 Pub. Date: 2018-05-20
Image Number: 171354
Caption: I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 month guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the Girl Scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... then? I hate myself for not noticing she had to have been at least 23 years old.
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-12 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-12 Pub. Date: 2017-11-12
Image Number: 164249
Caption: I can't believe youtube demonetized me, bruh. All my videos used to make bank, Big L. But just this morning, right after I uploaded my new track "Take a Knee," Youtube cut all the ads off almost all my videos. Well, some big advertisers pulled out of Youtube after it turned out major ads were running on four or five white supremacists' hate-videos. So the Youtube started demonetizing anything their algorithms thin is the least bit controversial. I know, bruh. That's why I renamed all my songs. "Slav'ry Bones" now be called "Involuntary Guest-Worker Bones." "Section 8 Blues" now called "Affordable Housing Lullabies." I don't know, Clyde. I heard once Youtube starts turning off a channel's ads, nothing will change their mind. "@#$% then Neo-Nazis" now called "Cuddle Kittens and Rainbow Bunnies."
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-20 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162850
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window ad say the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib - Lionel later told be he'd called anonymously, using the name "Daniel Tiger," so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-27 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-27 Pub. Date: 2017-08-27
Image Number: 161361
Caption: Excuse me, sir, if it's not too much trouble … Hi, Democrats. What can I get you? Coffee Sandwiches? An explanation. We introduced our bold new plan last month: "A Better Deal," but the progressives still aren't impressed. What more could they ask for? We focus-group tested the heck out of the slogan. It was the least objectionable and least un-inspiring of the bunch! It evokes FDR's "New Deal" and LBJ's "Fair Deal" without over-promising. We don't want to risk over-promising. It even sounded progressive! We mentioned tax credits to retrains workers, a $15 minimum wage (eventually), regulating prescription drug prices, and busting monopolies, maybe. We even said we'd think about forming a committee to consider considering sing-payer health care, among many other more corporate-donor-friendly options that aren't single-payer. And we introduced it with an editorial vowing not to expand government or move our party in one direction or another along the political spectrum. Bold! So why didn't that fire up the progressive base? ... Hello?
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-09 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-09 Pub. Date: 2017-07-09
Image Number: 159502
Caption: It's hard to debunk the whole "fake news" thing when so-called "journalists" keep lying, or keep not correcting their "mistakes" take Joy-Ann Reid, for instance. Who she? She has a show on MSNBC. The other week, after that former Bernie-supporter shot at those congressmen ... somebody tweeted "too soon to mention Bernie owes his entire political career to the NRA? Particularly his support of assault rifles his R opponent decried?" "Journalist" Joy-Ann Reid retweeted that, adding "I hope we have the maturity as a country to confront facts like this at the same time we're thinking of victims and keeping level heads." But it wasn't a fact. Sanders opposed assault rifles. The NRA backed him in that one race to punish the Republican who'd just changed his position on assault rifles. A Vermont gun store owner said at the time, "At least [Bernie's] consistent" with his opposition to semi-automatic rifles. A simple Google search would've told her that, apparently Joy-Ann Reid doesn't even Joy-Ann read. This whole thing was so you could say that joke, wasn't it.
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-25 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-25 Pub. Date: 2017-05-25
Image Number: 158343
Caption: Federal Agent Murph … just so I get this straight, I'm not a suspect in the potential Russian blackmailing of the president? Of course not. I'm counting on you to cover it. As a journalist. I suspect my superiors are caving to pressure from the White House. My investigation may hit a brick wall. So the press may be our only hope to at least get it all out there. And since the suspect Rudy Park is your old roomie, I figured you'd want to be the one to tail him to Moscow. Then why am I tied up in the back of your van mphmph. Figured you'd like a ride to the airport. You're welcome.
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-13 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-13 Pub. Date: 2017-05-13
Image Number: 157812
Caption: That's your tenth cup of coffee, Susan. Maybe you should slow down. Or at least use decaf. Did you know that too much coffee causes insomnia, increased heart rate, anxiety, puking … I'm just looking out for you, Ms. Garcia. Susan. You think I'm hogging all the coffee. No, of course not ... Yes, I do. I do think that.
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-24 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-24 Pub. Date: 2017-04-24
Image Number: 157284
Caption: Where Susan be at, bruh? Her phone been busy all week. I don't know, Clyde. But why're you trying to call Susan? You don't like talking on the phone. At least, that's what you always tell me when I call you just to chat. That 'cause you make erethang always 'bout you, bruh. So does Susan. Yeah, but Susan more interesting.
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-22 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-22 Pub. Date: 2016-11-22
Image Number: 151295
Caption: 1982. Lemont, if neither of us is in love with anyone by the time we're 40, wanna marry each other? Only on one condition. You'd have to agree to give me space whenever I need it. It's important for a man to be able to be alone with his thoughts and his comic books. Also, you'd have to sign an agreement promising you'll watch Star Trek with me at least once a week, even if you're not in the mood. That makes two conditions. Also, you'll have to agree not to ever bring up math.
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-31 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-31 Pub. Date: 2016-10-31
Image Number: 150471
Caption: Neither party does anything for me. Why should I vote? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. The answer is simple, bruh: You shouldn't. Your vote is your voice. 'Least it the only voice a politician listen to. Best way to get a politician to listen to you is to not say anything.
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-06 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-06 Pub. Date: 2016-10-06
Image Number: 149309
Caption: I heard a passerby comment that a plane has been stuck on the tarmac for seven hours and the passengers are furious. That's because they don't realize that life in a stranded plane is better than no life at all, Rozencrantz. They could sit there and think "at least we haven't crashed." And they've got all the peanuts and ginger ale in the world. I heard they've run out of peanuts. There will be blood. Spare change?
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-17 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-17 Pub. Date: 2016-09-17
Image Number: 148484
Caption: 1982. You know how people always say "If aliens existed, why haven't they made contact?" Well … what if they have? What if we aren't the ones they're coming to visit? There are at least six species on earth that have a degree of intelligence. Nobody ever stops to think that the aliens may already have a mutual defense treaty with the octopuses. If you don't want to have sushi, just say "I don't want to have sushi." If the apocalypse happens, I just don't want anyone pointing fingers at me.
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-28 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-28 Pub. Date: 2016-08-28
Image Number: 147131
Caption: How's your boy? Lionel's amazing! I put his little shoe on him and was about to tie it … when all of a sudden he reached down with his tiny, pudgy little hands and tied them himself. Can you believe that?! He's only two years old - Most kids can't ties their shoes until they're at least five! He's so advanced! At this rate, by the time he's ten, my boy won't need me for anything!
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-01 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-01 Pub. Date: 2016-07-01
Image Number: 145232
Caption: Rosencrantz, I think there was a diversion yesterday, and we let it slip away unexplored. Will eat for food. Speak for yourself, Tyrone. I seized the opportunity. I exploited it for all it was worth. For the first time in days, I experienced laughter. I experienced joy. I experienced satisfaction. Not directly, I mean. I saw another man experience it. Bet that's just the same, when you think about it. I'm jealous. That's something, at least.
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-30 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-30 Pub. Date: 2016-06-30
Image Number: 145231
Caption: Do you ever wonder whether you ever wonder? Stop it. I once thought I thoughts, but now I'm not sure I think I think. Stop it. I'm just saying, how do we know our thoughts are our own and not placed in our heads by a higher power? Aren't you the least bit curious about the curiosity known as "curiosity"? Stop it.
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-24 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-24 Pub. Date: 2016-06-24
Image Number: 144901
Caption: Thanks for walking me home, Clyde. No problem. The streets a very different place for women than they is for men. Least I could do is walk you home an' accept the $2 walk-home fee you agreed to. I thought you were joking. Psht! Write that on your electric bill an' see what they say.
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-15 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-15 Pub. Date: 2015-10-15
Image Number: 133795
Caption: I showed him plenty of "Munsters" in the beginning of our relationship. Why can't he be happy with the memory? Why's he still need it all the time? Lemont? Can you at least acknowledge the validity of its point? Sooner or later, each of us finds our favorite show is no longer in our programming package. I say whatever it takes to get me, that's what it takes to keep me. Yeah right, you wouldn't know what to do without me.
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-29 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-29 Pub. Date: 2015-07-29
Image Number: 130316
Caption: Hey momma, remember my roommate from college? Yeah, the one with the poodle. Well guess what … He joined ISIS. Can you believe that? He's a despicable terrorist now. So can you please stop giving me a hard time about only calling you once or twice a week? I mean, at least I'm not rampaging across the Middle East slaughtering people and destroying ancient ruins. ... Hello?
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-10 least 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-10 Pub. Date: 2015-07-10
Image Number: 129285
Caption: I've known you were brilliant from the moment I met you, son. I bwilliant fwumma moment you met me. You've always done everything at least a year before you're supposed to. I alwayth done evwything a peath a yeaw befowe I thpth too. Watching you develop is like watching a computer boot up much faster than it ordinarily would. You lotht me on that one.
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