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Rudy Park

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21. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-16 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-16 Pub. Date: 2017-06-16
Image Number: 159167
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with my brother's wife. What's the best way to ask her out? Posthumously. No, seriously. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with her. That just may end up being a beautiful five minutes.
     
22. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-23 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-23 Pub. Date: 2017-03-23
Image Number: 155928
Caption: After eating here for years, I've come down with abdominal pain and fatigue. Oh yeah? Also, irritability, sleep problems, headaches, loss of appetite, inexplicable weight loss, vomiting and constipation. Also, it took me three whole hours to figure out my new Apple watch, so chalk me up for learning difficulties. You're not by chance trying to get in one last lawsuit before Trump deregulates everything, are you? Heavens, no. Just feeling a little lead-poisony is all I'm saying.
     
23. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-02 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-02 Pub. Date: 2017-02-02
Image Number: 153980
Caption: I heard you got sixteen phone numbers at the women's march. Shame! Well, you heard wrong, Sadie. I got 1,600. But it's not what you think. I'm helping to create a vast network of people to fight all the coming anti-woman legislation. Oh. Well … all right, then. Where'd you put all those numbers, some sort of computer machine? No, I put 'em right here. I know a little black book when I see one! It's an iPhone.
     
24. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-16 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-16 Pub. Date: 2016-11-16
Image Number: 151038
Caption: I've always been the good, law-abiding, non-threatening guy. And that's gotten old. Maybe it's time for me to be an outlaw. Maybe it's time to grow big mutton chops and long hair, let my skin get all grizzled and leathery, and ride a Harley into infamy. You can't just change your persona like you change your underwear. Say that to my mutton chops, you punkish ... punk.
     
25. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-30 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-30 Pub. Date: 2016-09-30
Image Number: 149041
Caption: Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Cleveland. What's YOUR problem?! My deadbeat brother-in-law won't leave. What do I do? For six months, he's been sleeping on my couch, watching my tv, and drinking my Dr. Pepper. Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Stalin liberated Eastern Europe and then didn't leave for 44 years. You're going to need a massive arms race, a containment strategy, and Sylvester Stallone. Now he's using my toothbrush.
     
26. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-21 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-21 Pub. Date: 2016-09-21
Image Number: 148781
Caption: We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you.
     
27. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-15 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-15 Pub. Date: 2016-09-15
Image Number: 148488
Caption: I'm suing you for false advertising. I sent a sample of your Italian soda to my cousin Beppe in Naples. He said there's nothing "Italian" about it. I'll settle out of court for an Italian soda. No deal.
     
28. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-25 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-25 Pub. Date: 2016-04-25
Image Number: 142427
Caption: Boss, there's a truck outside full of penguins. What's going on? Are you wired? Are you or are you not asking me this on behalf of any law enforcement agency? If I ask you that, you have to tell me. It's a rule. Never mind. I don't think I want to know what's going on. Did you know underground zoos will pay a fortune for black-market penguins?
     
29. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-26 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-26 Pub. Date: 2016-02-26
Image Number: 139582
Caption: Do you think it's too late for me to go to law school and position myself for an appointment to the Supreme Court? Yes, unfortunately. You'd have to go back in time and start preparing early. By that I mean WAY back. As in you'd have to ensure that the cells that formed you had genes that would give you intellectual curiosity, above-average intelligence, and ambition. But you do still have time to become a layabout. You seem to have prepared very well for that. What? You'd still get to wear a robe all day.
     
30. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-16 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-16 Pub. Date: 2016-02-16
Image Number: 139253
Caption: I've decided I'm going to be positive all the time. What do you mean? Every major religion believes it's possible to speak things into existence. If you say you're a failure, you eventually become a failure. But if you SAY you're a winner over and over again, you can actually talk the universe into believing it. It'll make you a winner no matter how often you go bankrupt. So you agree Trump's going to win?
     
31. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-11 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-11 Pub. Date: 2016-02-11
Image Number: 138886
Caption: Boss … I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever. Stop right there. This isn't some underhanded attempt to weasel out of your end of the bargain, is it? A lifetime contract is a lifetime contract. It's not my fault you didn't read the fine print. If I transfer my consciousness to an android body, technically that's a new lifetime. We'll litigate that bridge when we come to it.
     
32. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-10 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-10 Pub. Date: 2016-01-10
Image Number: 136908
Caption: I'm sorry, we're all out of mocha. Want something else? Yes, I want you to run to Starbucks and get me a mocha. I'm … what? Sorry, I can't do that. You have to. Or I'll sue. Sue for what? I saw your menu from the sidewalk. I'm not following. If your menu is viewable from the sidewalk, it's considered advertising. If you advertise a product but you don't have it in stock and you don't cross it out, that's false advertising. And that's a crime. So what's it going to be? Are you going to run down to Starbucks or do you want me to bring the wrath of the entire judicial system down upon you? I'm not sure any of that is true. But I could use the fresh air. While you're there, would you be a poodle and get me a cheese danish?
     
33. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-07 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-07 Pub. Date: 2015-11-07
Image Number: 134802
Caption: Man-to-man talk, Randy. Let's do this. What's wrong with you, man? What do you mean? Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports … haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand? I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee. HOJ.
     
34. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-30 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-30 Pub. Date: 2015-08-30
Image Number: 131015
Caption: What as it you wanted to talk about, minion? Beep. The carbon monoxide detector is beeping every five seconds. Beep. Oh, that. Nothing (beep) to worry about. It was a second-hand unit I found in the dumpster behind Arby's. Beep. What? Why would you do that? Beep. The town council passed a law mandating the placement of (beep) CO² detectors. Beep. They (beep) didn't say they had to be new CO² detectors. I'm 25% sure it's beeping because the battery backup needs to be replaced. Nothing to worry about. Beep. Beep. But what if you're wrong? Shouldn't we maybe evacuate the (beep) cafe and call 911? Are you crazy? Beep. That would just panic everyone (beep) for no good reason and cost me hundreds of dollars in lost sales. Beep. I'm telling you, all it needs is new batteries. Go down to the basement and fetch some. Beep. Also, while you're down (beep) there, bring up my emergency oxygen mask. For no reason in particular. Beep. Very bad man. Beep.
     
35. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-15 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-15 Pub. Date: 2015-08-15
Image Number: 131014
Caption: This just in: A sheriff's deputy in Kentucky is being sued over a video posted on Youtube … of him handcuffing a crying third-grader's biceps behind his back in a position most of us may consider torture. The child hadn't committed any crime, but he had displayed symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder and PTSD. Breaking news!!!!! Maybe the police ARE a tad out of control. Some say the child brought it on himself by having a disability.
     
36. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-08 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-08 Pub. Date: 2015-07-08
Image Number: 129351
Caption: I'd like to announce the debut of my new manual: "Randy's Guide for Raising an Alpha Child." I'd like to, but I can't. You see, in recent years we've replaced concrete and dirt playgrounds with bouncy rubber. And we've started arresting parents who let their kids explore the world by playing outside on their own. Somehow, it's become illegal to raise an alpha child.
     
37. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-01 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-01 Pub. Date: 2015-07-01
Image Number: 129100
Caption: You're a man of the world, Mort. You've seen things in your time, haven't you? I've seen things that would curl your toes. I've seen dust as tall as mountains sweep across the plains. I've seen a swami mystic turn a dying beggar into a soaring dove on the banks of the Ganges. I've seen Republicans and Democrats work together to pass legislation that moved America forward. You had me until you got to that fairy tale. I've seen a time when houses cost just twice your annual income.
     
38. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-12 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-12 Pub. Date: 2015-06-12
Image Number: 128140
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with my brother's wife. What's the best way to ask her out? Posthumously. No, seriously. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with her. That just may end up being a beautiful five minutes.
     
39. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-11 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-11 Pub. Date: 2015-05-11
Image Number: 126887
Caption: Ask Sadie™ Dear Irresponsible Sadie: Last week you said riots are the natural response to police brutality. How dare you excuse looting and property damage and violence!!!! By excusing riots, you are contributing to the cycle of violence. You have a public platform and with that comes responsibility. You, Sadie, have A LOT to learn!!! - Disappointed in Delaware. You need to learn the difference between an EXPLANATION and an "excuse," you condescending, insufferable troglodyte! I mean ... thank you for writing. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com
     
40. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-04 law 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-04 Pub. Date: 2015-05-04
Image Number: 126574
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? What's with that senseless riot in Baltimore? What do you mean? America has a long history of self-destructive riots in response to police brutality. It's senseless to call it senseless. A city is like a human body. If you feed a body an awful diet of abuse and unaccountable cops, that body's eventually going to have a massive coronary. In short: Learn your history! And eat oatmeal! Oat ... What? What are you talking about?
     
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