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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-08-01 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-08-01 Pub. Date: 2017-08-01
Image Number: 161078
Caption: Editors at Failing Newspapers See Major Gains. Failing New York Time! Amazon Washington Post! We're still failing. Increase the press run. Circulation last 6 months. Trump says: Trump claims: Trump fires: Trump hires:
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-11-22 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-11-22 Pub. Date: 2016-11-22
Image Number: 151489
Caption: Ivanka and Jared Kushner, Adviser to Presidents. Look, darling, the last print issue of the New York Observer, your newspaper you paid ten million dollars for. Ha-ha! I'd love to see it, but I must go advise the president on how to manage the economy. NY Observer. Fail ... Gov't for Dummies. The Art of the Deal.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-07-20 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-07-20 Pub. Date: 2016-07-20
Image Number: 146344
Caption: Melania Speaks! So, Melania … when did you and Donald first meet? Eh … um … four score and twenty years ago? About Last Night.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-01-07 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-01-07 Pub. Date: 2016-01-07
Image Number: 137811
Caption: What to Serve if the Caucus Is at Your House. Well, you know I have always served my special hamburger surprise, but I think this year I'll try that lime Jello mold. It seems to make people a lot more considerate of each other's feelings. A Jello mold is fine but not lime. Last time I made veal fly-away birds and we got Romney. You can bet I won't make that mistake again. And any real American Jello mold needs marshmallow bits. You'll see ... Heavens, no ...
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-10-11 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-10-11 Pub. Date: 2015-10-11
Image Number: 133954
Caption: Putin Gets the News. The Turks have shot down one of our planes. Ah … Good news at last.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-07-13 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-07-13 Pub. Date: 2015-07-13
Image Number: 129813
Caption: Mexican Drug Kingpin "El Chapo" Escapes from Jail! The last thing he said was, "I'm going to New York and kick Donald Trump's ass!" Adios.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-06-04 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-06-04 Pub. Date: 2015-06-04
Image Number: 128865
Caption: Mr. Putin Counsels His Old Friend Sepp Blatter on How to Deal With Criticism. Some people criticized me when I got eight goals in a hockey game last month … and where are those people now?
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-06-26 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-06-26 Pub. Date: 2014-06-26
Image Number: 113139
Caption: The Thrill of Victory. Y'know Senator Cochran, I told the voters that this would be my last time, but I am so invigorated by winning that I may be able to serve longer … Y'all make a dam' good point theyah, Mister Rangel, suh. I shall have to give it all due consideration ... Heh!
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-12-11 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-12-11 Pub. Date: 2013-12-11
Image Number: 105164
Caption: Rupert Murdoch Has New Girlfriend - His Massage Therapist. At last, true love … Alcohol. Oil. Lotion.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-10-23 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-10-23 Pub. Date: 2013-10-23
Image Number: 103175
Caption: US Accused of Spying on France. US Spying on France. At last! Something to be legitimately rude about! Menu.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-07-30 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-07-30 Pub. Date: 2013-07-30
Image Number: 99944
Caption: I'm Just Sayin' … Big Brother button from the movie 1984 released in eh … 1984. Hillary Clinton for President button released last week in preparation for the 2016 Campaign.
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-03-18 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-03-18 Pub. Date: 2013-03-18
Image Number: 94897
Caption: New York Yankees Threaten Reduction of Pay Scale. Don’t take it so hard … … Everyone makes foolish errors. Yeah, but last year I was being paid more. NY. New York.
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-01-22 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-01-22 Pub. Date: 2013-01-22
Image Number: 92742
Caption: Worries at the Pentagon. Listen to this! The French have attacked insurgents in a country most people can't find on the map over an issue that no one understands, and they can't explain, thinking that with superior firepower they can force some sort of peace and withdraw before the whole thing turns into a quagmire that will last for years ... Dammit! That's our job! Mali.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-11-20 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-11-20 Pub. Date: 2012-11-20
Image Number: 90269
Caption: New Tasty Treats to Replace the Lost Twinkies! New Stinkies! Just like the Twinkies that never went bad, except these have no preservatives so they go bad almost immediately. Contains sugar, and some sort of yellow moldable compound. Corn may be involved. Sugar flavored. Stinkies. Cream-filled extrusion. Real organic odors. No preservatives! For that natural smell. Stinkies. Contains sugar, yellow material. Wink-winks and Nudge-Nudges! Wow, it's a Little Debbie all growed up. Wink-winks are pure white. Nudge-nudges are sort of fudge colored. A social lesson in each pack. Made of sugar colored sugar and brown colored sugar. Say no more. Wink-winks. Nudge-nudges. No more Ho-ho's these days. New Uh-Ohs! Dad gets laid off down at the mud mine the last thing he wants in his lunch box is a snack that laughs at him. Tasty cupcakes that say - hey, loser, we understand. And they taste that way, too. Uh-ohs. Great for Kids! Little Dippie Mini Donutz. Named after Little Debbie's not-so-bright sister, the who - well, never mind. Sugary snack globs covered with sugar, with a rich sugar taste that will remind you of sugar. And note the new funny spelling! You'll go nutty for donutz. Little Dippie. Direct from New York! Don-Dons! Inspired by the famous real estate and television personality. Don-Dons are topped with shredded cocoanut. Pigeons love 'em! Don-Dons. Formerly Ding-Dongs. Cocoanut topping. Wonder Stuff. Handy around the house 12 ways! Soaks up spills. Replace oil filters. Keep loose patio tiles in place. Temporary tooth filling. Stops drafts under doors. Start charcoal fires. Stop charcoal fires. Real bread taste! Real bread shade! And that old favorite Wonder Bread (crossed out) stuff. More nutritious that a roll of paper towels, and more absorbent! Baked using natural materials fairly near a field of wheat.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-06-08 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-06-08 Pub. Date: 2012-06-08
Image Number: 82028
Caption: Dinner for One. Spain. Italy. France. Greece. Belgium. Denmark. Ireland. Austria. Portugal. Etc. UK. (Germany). Everyone's here, m'lady ... Same procedure as last week? Same procedure as every week, James.
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-04-10 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-04-11 Pub. Date: 2012-04-10
Image Number: 79483
Caption: Damage Control … And so it appears that Pennsylvania voters feel … the same as they did last time Santorum ran … Bonk! Reality. Governor Romney? Worst person in America? Well, the right running mare might improve all that … Wreck.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-01-06 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-01-06 Pub. Date: 2012-01-06
Image Number: 75202
Caption: Seasonal Work. Dear … A job creator fell last night. Romney.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-09 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-09 Pub. Date: 2011-11-09
Image Number: 73068
Caption: La commedia e finita … Berlusconi. Pagliacci. "La commedia e finita," the comedy is over, last line of the opera Pagliacci.
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-05-30 last 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-05-30 Pub. Date: 2011-05-30
Image Number: 61660
Caption: How can you ask a man to be the last man to die in Vietnam (crossed out) Afghanistan? Don't worry … There's an election coming up. You won't be the last.
     
Result page:    2  Next  (26 images)