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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (45 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-28 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-28 Pub. Date: 2017-03-28
Image Number: 156198
Caption: I've been wanting to see "get out" for weeks, Susan. I remember before I had a kid, I was at the movies every week. Now I don't have the time of the energy. I can't remember the last movie I saw that didn't involve a talking fish or a puppet. Reason #28,754 why I'll never have kids. On the other hand, movies won't change your diapers when you're old.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-07 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-07 Pub. Date: 2017-03-07
Image Number: 155380
Caption: Did you see Trump's address to Congress last week? Nah, bruh. Did you catch the "Gilligan's Island" marathon on channel 32 last night? . I don't watch broadcast tv. I only watch Netflix and Hulu. You wanna catch a movie? Watched them all off bittorrent for free already, bruh. You get Kanye new album? I only download songs I like and make my own playlists. Read any good books? C-Dog only read tweets.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-09 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-09 Pub. Date: 2017-02-09
Image Number: 154240
Caption: Thank you, Clyde. I don't know what you mean, bruh. Last year, I asked you to stream "Young Justice" on Netflix, because huge subscriber numbers could resurrect it for another season. You blew me off. But I just went back through your old tweets and saw that a week before they renewed it, you told all you 958,000 followers to watch it. Must've been a type, get outta here. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you did something nice.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-25 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-25 Pub. Date: 2016-12-25
Image Number: 151999
Caption: You know what really, really bugs me? People who get all upset just because I always let my dog off his leash where I'm not supposed to. Last week, Killer and I were taking our usual stroll in the park. I let the little fella off his leash just so he could get some real exercise. He deserves it as much as anyone. When he got maybe 1,000 feet from me, he came across some kid's birthday party. Killer's a curious little fella, so naturally he darted into the Bouncy House. Next thing you know, there was all this screaming, just 'cause Killer started licking the birthday boy's face and chewing on his hair. All that screaming hurt poor Killer's feelings, so naturally he started growling. Then I told them Killer was friendly, so that should've been that, right? Can you believe they demanded I buy the kid new pants? It's not my fault they never potty trained him. Forget the dogs, it's the owners who should have to get licensed.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-19 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-19 Pub. Date: 2016-06-19
Image Number: 144283
Caption: Hello, you've reached Dubble Cross Health Insurance. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? Hi, Ryan. I just got a bill form you for $850. It says it's for "professional services." But I'm not with Dubble Cross. I have Czar Health Insurance. That's right, but it says here you used the emergency room the same week you switched from us to Czar. So when they billed your visit to us, you weren't actually covered by us. So you have to pay us back. What're you taking about? I used the emergency room on the last day of December, and I'd already paid you my dues for December, so I was covered! Our billing cycle ends the day before the last day of the month, sir. Since when, Ryan?! Since we realized people wouldn't know that.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-09 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-09 Pub. Date: 2016-06-09
Image Number: 144222
Caption: I'm flying to Oakland for a book festival in two week. "Vancouver" is going to be there too. The girl you been talkin' to long-distance? You ain't never told me how you met her in the first place. Yeah I did, Clyde. I called you as soon as it happened and told you every last detail. You and I talked for five hours! Anything more'n two minutes, I set the phone down an' watch tv. It's a policy. But you kept applauding! Must've been the studio audience you heard, bruh.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-24 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-24 Pub. Date: 2016-05-24
Image Number: 143638
Caption: I don't know why fools be keepin' useless junk from long ago. What the point of that is? How often you gonna open that box in your garage to look at the apple you finger-painted when you was four? They ain't no future generations gonna enshrine your third-grade diary in the Smithsonian. Ain't nobody gonna care 'bout no package Amazon delivered to your doorstep last week. I said give me back my package!
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-05 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-05 Pub. Date: 2016-05-05
Image Number: 142721
Caption: I'm sorry my check bounced last week, doc. That was because some Nigerian scammers stole my bank account. Dr. Noodle. I see. And how did that make you feel? Angry, I guess. Angry at them? Or angry at yourself for letting your gullibility impact not only your life, but the lives of people to whom you owe money? I thought these sessions were supposed to be about MY feelings. They are. Let's explore how inconveniencing your therapist makes you feel.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-10 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-10 Pub. Date: 2015-11-10
Image Number: 135007
Caption: I went out with this book agent last week and told him some stories about work. Then he tried to get me to write a novel based on it. Awesome! I've written three, you know. If you need any advice, just come to me. I could walk you through it. Share my expertise. Writing a novel is a long, hard process. Takes about six months to a year. I'll guide you through it, 'cause you're my best friend and I love you. I finished it last week. I hate you with a passion.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-05 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-05 Pub. Date: 2015-10-05
Image Number: 133458
Caption: I flew to Vancouver last week to give a speech. I thought you hated public speaking. Yeah, but they asked me, and I have a hard time saying no to people. Well, I'm proud of you, Lemont. It's always a good idea to tackle your fears head-on. I got nervous and threw up on stage. I'm sure no one noticed.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-25 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-25 Pub. Date: 2015-09-25
Image Number: 132816
Caption: Why is Donawd Duck wunning for pwesident? What? Wast week you wewe talking to Uncwe Cwyde about Donawd Duck wunning fow pwesident. Donald TRUMP, son, not Donald Duck. Donald Duck is a cartoon character who's very popular even though he's got a short temper and keeps throwing tantrums all the time. Does Donawd Twump weaw pants?
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-08 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-08 Pub. Date: 2015-08-08
Image Number: 130588
Caption: Have you called your mom every day this week like I suggested? Yes. But I really think I'm doing her a disservice. When you do something every single day, it's not special anymore. It's a chore. I'm pretty sure I heard her sigh last time she answered. Tell me you're not about to say you're ... I'd be doing her a favor if I called her only once or twice a week.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-03 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-03 Pub. Date: 2015-05-03
Image Number: 125860
Caption: Dear idiot … I am offended by your article from last week where you made fun of those who say we never actually went to the moon. It's tools like you who make it easy for NASA to go on lying to the world and covering up the truth. Maybe if you did a little more research on YouTube, you'd be able to open your eyes to the fact that the moon doesn't actually exist. Worlds the size of Earth shouldn't have satellites at all, let alone one bigger than Pluto. Some people should never wander away from YouTube's "cute kitten" area. There's evidence it's a giant, empty, ancient spaceship that ran out of fuel long ago.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-21 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-21 Pub. Date: 2015-03-21
Image Number: 124249
Caption: Emails. We got people hungry, bridges fallin' down, people sick … an' all anyone be talkin' 'bout last week was some #$%& emails. This country unbelievable, bruh. (A) It's alarming when our leaders act like they have something to hide … and (B) Since when do you watch the news? They interrupted "Gilligan's Island" widdat *$%# press conference.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-21 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-21 Pub. Date: 2014-11-21
Image Number: 118796
Caption: I'm gonna need that $2 you owe me, Clyde. Which $2 that be? The $2 you loaned me yesterday, the $2 you loaned me last week or the $2 you loaned me the week before? Why's that matter? Just give me my $2. How I'm gonna do my bookkeeping if you ain't more specific?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-04 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-04 Pub. Date: 2014-11-04
Image Number: 118496
Caption: I tried to vote today, but I didn’t have ID because someone stole my wallet last week. I showed them my temporary driver's license, but that wasn't good enough. I showed them my passport, but it's expired, so that wasn't good enough. So I tried to hire an "illegal" immigrant to vote on my behalf, but it turns out that's not as easy as the voter-ID people say it is.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-04 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-04 Pub. Date: 2014-08-04
Image Number: 114617
Caption: Hi, momma, it's me. How are you … No, it's not the paperboy, it's ME. So I've been meaning to ask you about my da … Yes, of COURSE I "sound familiar." It's ME. Momma, I called just last week! So this guilt trip is totally … (sigh) Yes, I'm sure I have the right number. A-Train. (Originally published on 2012-03-01).
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-28 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-28 Pub. Date: 2014-04-28
Image Number: 110709
Caption: Ahem.* *I wanna apologize for what I said last week, Big L. Snort.* *You're my best friend. I hope you can forgive me. Ahem.* *It's ok, Clyde. You've always been like a brother to me. Cough.* *The kind you keep in the attic and don’t tell anyone about.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-07 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-07 Pub. Date: 2014-04-07
Image Number: 109839
Caption: LAST WEEK … So I took your advice. I hired lawyers to investigate myself … paid them $1 mil or so … … And (surprise surprise) the investigation I paid for found me totally, completely innocent … Problem is: for some strange reason, people don’t trust that the investigation I paid for was impartial. Ain't you glad I told you to pay for it with taxpayer money instead of your own? C-DOG'S Incredibly Bad Advice $2. I want my $2 back.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-13 last week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-13 Pub. Date: 2014-03-13
Image Number: 108530
Caption: Susan's out of town next week. Momma's got plans. My old boss is going to be on a fishing trip. My mailman is going to be eloping in Vegas. The corner hobo is going to be out of town at a convention. Ok, now I'm feelin' a little less honored that you asked me to watch yo' son for you. Just don't tattoo him like you did my goldfish.
     
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