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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about kills and killing.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-01 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-01 Pub. Date: 2017-10-01
Image Number: 162685
Caption: I just finished reading Hillary Clinton's book, "What Had Happened Was … " Sound like a good book, bruh. I thought so. But you know, the real title was supposed to be "What Happened." So I figured I was just seeing things. But then I notices something. Whachoo noticed, Big L? All the other books on my bookshelf had unfamiliar titles too. I noticed my old copy of "1984" was not called "2017." "Deliverance" was not called "They Shoulda Stayed They Butts at Home." the book I thought was called "To Kill a Mockingbird" was not called "Black Man's Tragedy as a Growth Experience for a Little White Girl." Do you happen to have Photoshop, a printer and too much time on your hands? Must be that "Mandela Effect" think you always be talkin' 'bout. Give me back my old bookcovers.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-20 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162850
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window ad say the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib - Lionel later told be he'd called anonymously, using the name "Daniel Tiger," so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-04 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-04 Pub. Date: 2017-07-04
Image Number: 159980
Caption: Meanwhile, in Moscow … Hello, you've reached the office of California Assembly Speaker Anthony Rendon. Moscow. If you're a pharmaceutical of health care industry lobbyist calling to donate another $150 thousand to my campaign fund, press "one." If you're a journalist calling to ask why I killed a highly popular single-payer health care bill that would've saved countless lives and insulated Californians from Trumpcare, press 2. Sorry, Speaker Rendon is unavailable to talk right now.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-02 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-02 Pub. Date: 2017-06-02
Image Number: 158604
Caption: Murdered 2nd Lt. Richard Collins III visits Lemont's dream. I'm sorry, I've been doing all the talking. Tell me all about you. Tell me who you are. What you wanted to be. In your own words. Ok, sir. I was going to -- Hey! He was just getting started!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-01 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-01 Pub. Date: 2017-06-01
Image Number: 158603
Caption: Departed 2nd Lieutenant Richard Collins III visits Lemont's dream. Why does my murder affect you so personally? You didn't even know me. M. Maybe that's why. You were graduating from a great school … you were commissioned in the army … By all accounts, you were funny, you were brilliant, you were going to be someone consequential. Someone who could've made history. I SHOULD have someday known you. But now I never will.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-31 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-31 Pub. Date: 2017-05-31
Image Number: 158602
Caption: Departed 2nd Lieutenant Richard Collins III visits Lemont's dream. I'm beyond tired of this. A promising young man, who could've one day been a great general or a president, or a dad … cut down by a white supremacist … or by a cop, or by a thug … I'm tired, tired, tired of this! You're tired of this? Well ... yeah ... I ... guess you're more ... can we start over?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-30 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-30 Pub. Date: 2017-05-30
Image Number: 158601
Caption: Zzzzz. Excuse me, sir, how do I get to the Metro? Zzhuh? We're on a plane. Who are you? Second Lieutenant Richard Collins III, sir. On my way to my graduation. Um … we need to talk, Lt. Collings. How did I get here?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-24 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-24 Pub. Date: 2016-12-24
Image Number: 152374
Caption: Merry Christmas. Sheep. What? What do you mean "sheep"? I mean, when we hit certain days on the calendar, people programming kick in. You gon' buy gifts, kill a bird, eat stuffing out its butthole, an' sit in a room with people you don't care enough about to visit the rest of the year ... 'cause you're s'posed to. Happy Sheep Day, bruh. I said Merry @#$% Christmas!
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-01 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-01 Pub. Date: 2016-12-01
Image Number: 151553
Caption: 2016 turned out to be our best year in recorded history. Well … American history, anyway. We still have a ways to go before we match what the German branch did back in the '30s. Fear, Inc. But still … we convinced half the country that savages were either coming to kill them or take their jobs. And we convinced the other half that most of the country is racist and hateful. We also got Kanye West to completely flip out onstage. I'm proud of that one. Fear, Inc.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-18 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-18 Pub. Date: 2016-11-18
Image Number: 151020
Caption: Lemont meets another Lemont from an alternate reality. Whatever you do, do NOT visit the women you came here to see. I made that mistake. We waited over a year to see each other. We were so in love. But when I visited her, I was so upset about Trump's election, we had a miserable time. It killed the magic. Wouldn't flying thousands of miles just to stand her up kill the magic too? Good point. I'll tell you what ... as a favor to you, I'll visit her for you. I'm on to you.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-14 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-14 Pub. Date: 2016-09-14
Image Number: 148481
Caption: 1982. I don't buy all the stuff they tell me in Sunday school. But I do think there's a God. You do, Lemont? I believe the universe is an organism. Like my hamster. We call it "God," and we're its constituent parts. And like any hamster, it wants every one of its organs and cells to thrive. Even the tunas? 'Cause we kill them and put them in cans. I didn't say I had it all worked out.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-18 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-18 Pub. Date: 2016-07-18
Image Number: 146139
Caption: Do you still dream, like when we were kids, Clyde? 'Course I do, bruh. Just the other night, I dreamt the police didn't shoot Alston Sterling or Philando Castile. An' I dreamt that racist brotha didn't shoot them cops. I dreamt didn't nobody ever shoot no one. I meant do you ever have weird, fantastical dreams. Wasn't you listening?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-22 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-22 Pub. Date: 2016-06-22
Image Number: 144899
Caption: There was a two-inch long silverfish skittering over my oatmeal this morning. Lionel said "Daddy, why's it called a silverfish if it's not silver?" But, I thought they do look silver. Not after someone's smacked them 42 times with a shoe. I told Lionel "Shhh ... it's sleeping." Dios mio.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-04 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-04 Pub. Date: 2016-05-04
Image Number: 142720
Caption: What you called me last night at two a.m. for, Big L? I don't know. I just didn't want to sleep, I guess. Every time I start to drift off, I begin to have this dream I really don't want to have. So I'm just going to stay awake until my subconscious mind gives up and forgets about that dream. I ain't never seen a man play "chicken" with hisself before. I'm going to show me who's boss if it kills me.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-03 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-03 Pub. Date: 2016-05-03
Image Number: 142719
Caption: You look awful. When's the last time you got some sleep? 154 hours ago. Dios mio, Lemont! That could kill you! What are you thinking?! I'm afraid that if I go to sleep, I'll have this dream that I don't want to have. Well you can't go six days with not sleep! That might be what killed Prince! Even just three days is enough to make people hallucinate! You've got to sleep! She may have a point. No she doesn't.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-28 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-28 Pub. Date: 2016-03-28
Image Number: 141133
Caption: Whachoo wanna watch, Big L? The end of hatred. I want to watch the end of terror, the end of war, the end of killing, the end of brutality. The end of people having to live in fear of other people. I want to watch mankind finally decide to just get along with itself. I don't think that be on. (Sigh) Just put on "Gilligan's Island."
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-17 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-17 Pub. Date: 2016-03-17
Image Number: 140512
Caption: Have you signed up for Obamacare yet? #@$% no. Republicans gonna win big in November. Then they gonna kill Obamacare. So if I sign up for it an' like it, I'll be disappointed when I lose it. That's not the dumbest reason I've heard. You gotta work on your compliments.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-16 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-16 Pub. Date: 2015-11-16
Image Number: 135313
Caption: The DA ain't gonna prosecute the cop who unnecessarily shot that white kid. What the kid name again? Zachary Hammond? Yeh. I noticed it seem like the only people still outraged about it is the "Black Lives Matter" crowd. I ain't seen white people put on no marches, no protests ... nothin'. You know what this tell me? It tell me that when people hear "Black Lives Matter" an' reflexively respond by sayin' "All Lives Matter" ... What they REALLY sayin' is "shut up an' take it, like we do." "All Lives Matter" is catchier.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-23 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-23 Pub. Date: 2015-10-23
Image Number: 133802
Caption: We're not done mourning the last mass shooting, so it's inappropriate to talk about gun control. It's too soon. Time. Seriously, we're averaging more than one mass shooting per day. When exactly will it be appropriate to talk about it? I believe there's an opening between 11:58pm and 11:58pm ad 22 seconds.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-22 kill 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-22 Pub. Date: 2015-10-22
Image Number: 133801
Caption: I'm tired of liberals using every mass shooting as an excuse to talk about having more gun regulations. Cars kill far more people than guns! Booze kills more people than guns! Tobacco kills more people than guns! Medical malpractice kills a lot more people than guns! You know that's why we regulate the heck out of all those things, right? I don't wee what that has to do with anything.
     
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