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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about justness.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-20 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-20 Pub. Date: 2018-05-20
Image Number: 171156
Caption: I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not noticing she had to have been at least 23 years old.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-17 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-17 Pub. Date: 2018-05-17
Image Number: 171510
Caption: Boss? Strange thing happened … I created a cryoptocurrency called Rudycoin. I had about $375 billion worth of Rudycoins as of last night. But early this morning, I got an email form you that had a link called click this. I clicked it. Suddenly, my $375 billion balance shrunk to $3.75. I don't know what you're talking about, minion. That's just a coincidence. Besides, maybe you've always had just $3.75. You've never been great with decimal points. I'm texting a lawyer.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-10 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-10 Pub. Date: 2018-05-10
Image Number: 171298
Caption: You're saying aliens built the Great Pyramid of Giza? Either that, or ancient mankind had reached outer space. The Great Pyramid of Giza is at the exact geometric center of earth's landmasses. You can't know where that is unless you're looking down from orbit ... or unless it's just dumb luck. Too late. Case closed. I've settled it. All counter-arguments are fake news.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-09 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-09 Pub. Date: 2018-05-09
Image Number: 171297
Caption: Ask Sadie Advice Hour, what's your problem?! NASA. I just read an article about how NASA canceled yet another moon mission. What are they hiding??? Excellent question. As you all know, I was an astronaut on the top-secret final Apollo mission back in 1973. Did you realize Apollo fro Battlestar Galactica was played by the lovely, departed Richard Hatch? I once worked soldering hatches on nuclear submarines. Wait ... are you trying to chance the subject? Submarine sandwiches, contrary to popular misconception, are not actually meant to be eaten under water. Coverup!!!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-08 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-08 Pub. Date: 2018-05-08
Image Number: 171296
Caption: I'm not convinced that the pyramids of Giza were built as tombs. Sure they were used as tombs, but for all we know, they were built far earlier by some other civilization, and the pharaohs just claimed credit for them. How do we know the pyramids weren't something far more high-tech, like for instance hydroelectric power generators for an advanced civilization? You tell me, how did you charge your cellphone back in 10,000 B.C.? Hydropower from the tears of dorks, here, let me show you ...
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-07 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-07 Pub. Date: 2018-05-07
Image Number: 171295
Caption: I read an article on Candorville.com about how we might not be the first advances civilization on earth. There's evident that mankind was far more advanced than we thought, but it was blown back into the stone age by some huge cataclysm. A lot of scientists disagree, but why else would mankind build 200 immense underground cities all around the world, if not to survive a cataclysm? I'm starting to think you just like saying the word cataclysm. I also read that we're cataclysmically overdue for another cataclysmic-level cataclysm.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-06 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-06 Pub. Date: 2018-05-06
Image Number: 170676
Caption: One peppermint shake, two straws. Oh no. We're back together again. In fact, make that just one straw. We'll share it. I don't want anything to separate us ever again. Two. What are you trying to do, sugar-puss, give me the mouth-herpes you caught form that Sheila? I told you, daffodil-bottom, that wasn't mouth-herpes, it was just a sore where I'd accidentally bitten my lip. And I would never have even been with Sheila if you hadn't just ditched me for that hobo. Biff Manly is a sailor who lives in a houseboat. He's not a hobo ... dear. Do you have any drinks that taste like the high seas? Leave me out of this! I see you've got a drink called The Sheila. We'll. Have. That.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-05 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-05 Pub. Date: 2018-05-05
Image Number: 171063
Caption: Boss? I was cleaning out the bunker like you said to, when I stumbled across blueprints for an O'Neill cylinder. You're imagining things, minion. The front page was a to-do list: Step five was herd genetically modified people onto orbital O'Neill cylinder. Step four was slip fattener into coffee. Step three was become minister of cafes. Step two: Elect Trump. Relax, it's just a short story I wrote in the '80s when I was a hatchling - I mean when I was a kid. Step one was assume identity of original Armstrong Maynard.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-02 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-02 Pub. Date: 2018-05-02
Image Number: 171060
Caption: Did you clear all the homeless people out of the alley, minion? You were serious? They're people, not leaves. I can't just sweep them all away, boss. Housing is getting unaffordable. It's not their fault. Hmm … you may have a point, minion. They're a sign of the times. They lend the cafe authenticity. There must be a way to monetize them. Survey the customers. See how much they'd pay to take selfies with authentic 21st century Americans in the background. Very bad man.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-01 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-01 Pub. Date: 2018-05-01
Image Number: 171059
Caption: Darn. Ten whole pages of results, Sadie. What's yer pie hole yammering about now. Tap tap tap tap tap. I just googled what to do with my free time, and I got ten pages of results. What do you mean free time? Didn't I hear your boss tell you to go sweep up in the alley, you wretched slacker? He didn't say when. Google how should Sadie celebrate when doofus-boy gets fired?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-30 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-30 Pub. Date: 2018-04-30
Image Number: 171058
Caption: Hey boss, mind if I give the 3-day-old muffins to Homeless Harry instead of throwing them out? Are you insane? Do you have any idea how many people are becoming homeless and moving into the alley every day? Three years ago it was just Homeless Harry. But now it's also Wandering Wanda, Displaced Daryl, Desolate Davina, Forlorn Farzad, Dispossessed Dale, Outcast Oswald, Derelect Daphne, Exiled Evan, Refugee Rachel, Itinerant Irving, and Vagabond Vernon. Tomorrow it could be Yomeless You, you know. Yomeless isn't a word, so that's not possible.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-25 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-25 Pub. Date: 2018-04-25
Image Number: 170877
Caption: Senator Kamala Harris isn't exactly winning over progressives, she's refusing to refuse giant corporate donations. Progressives hate that. She said as long as we have rules that make us disclose the donors, then the voters will know, and so what's the problem? Sound logic. Voting for her anyway doesn't mean we refuse her for refusing to refuse them. I suspect if we accept that she accepts bribes, that just means we're neglecting to inspect our elected. Fine, except I expect you to accept that I take exception to that.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-23 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-23 Pub. Date: 2018-04-23
Image Number: 170875
Caption: Boss, I got your memo about the café's new patrons-only bathroom policy. Good. One question: Why's it say this only applies to scared people? You're aware of the recent Starbucks news? Their mistake was they engaged in negative discrimination. My studies show positive discrimination actually boosts customer retention. Now get back out there, and when you hand a patron the potty key, don't for to say this is only for the brave! I've been saying that. But it just makes them afraid to go in there.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-20 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-20 Pub. Date: 2018-04-20
Image Number: 170596
Caption: How come when I ordered my coffee, you told me the deep state is out to get our president? Because it is, Randy. Also, all news about dear leader is fake, except for the news that tells you about how all the news is fake. What? What are you doing? Did the boss put you up to this? That's fake news. Did your boss happen to strike a deal with Sinclair Broadcasting? Also, white supremacists aren't all that ba -- Oh, I just can't do it.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-18 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-18 Pub. Date: 2018-04-18
Image Number: 170594
Caption: Boss, is the air conditioning broken? It just plummeted to about 30 degrees. That's awful. It was supposed to gradually fall to 30 degrees. Gradual temperature declines boost sales of hot drinks by 17%. But rapid declines make people leave. This can't be legal. Hold on, I'm setting the Ecobee to emergency blast furnace.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-15 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-15 Pub. Date: 2018-04-15
Image Number: 170066
Caption: Find me news about the Russiagate investigation. 841 news stories found. Specify date of broadcast. Today would be fine. Are you sure you would not rather see a broadcast from the future, when the results of the investigation are in? You can do that? Oh my god ... do you mean time isn't linear after all? Do you mean disembodied A.I. is free to move back and forth, like quarks can? I mean you should leave me alone until the results are in. (Sigh) fine ... Just show me anything that isn't about Russiagate. Processing ...
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-13 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-13 Pub. Date: 2018-04-13
Image Number: 170360
Caption: Why do people say they're lying through their teeth? It's just an expression. Yeah, but it makes me think of defendants, who lie through their lawyers. Then it makes me think of my teeth as little lawyers. And that makes me not want to brush them, just in case they sue me for unnecessary roughness. When's the last time you brushed your teeth? Let me think ... was this a leap year?
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-08 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-08 Pub. Date: 2018-04-08
Image Number: 169775
Caption: Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard his computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he'd discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said Things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-05 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-05 Pub. Date: 2018-04-05
Image Number: 170207
Caption: Remington is filing for bankruptcy. They're going away. No they're not. The gun manufacturer is just filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy. It'll let them stay in business and weasel out of paying their creditors at the same time. Lots of businesses do it, all the time. It's the American way. Maybe I'll declare chapter 11 so I can weasel out too. Don't be foolish, the American way is for corporate citizens, not citizen-citizens.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-01 just 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-01 Pub. Date: 2018-04-01
Image Number: 169596
Caption: Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't exactly go as planned. So I said to him I thought you were the Union! And I got up and walked out. Which was just as well, because in retrospect I'm sur ehe was trying to become my sugar daddy. And what was the question again? Ask Sadie. Almost answering questions since 1920-something. Send questions to asksadieshow@gmail.com.
     
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