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Nina's Adventures

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1. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1992-07-26 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2010-02-19 Pub. Date: 1992-07-26
Image Number: 2338
Caption: Our heroine, suffering from an acutely painful tonsil infection, finds herself praying! Will desperation turn this agnostic Taoist into a catholic? Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name, bla bla bla etc. God grant me health! God grant me health! ... A few days and several doses of Amoxicillin later ... Gosh! My health is returning! Maybe God answered my prayers!! Maybe I should become a nun or something to show my gratitude. Of course, if there really is a patriarchal capital-G-God up there ... who hears prayers and consciously guides every aspect of our lives.... Then he made me sick in the first place! What a sadistic jerk!! And so, Nina remains an agnostic Taoist... Until the next time she's desperate.
     
2. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1993-06-04 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2010-01-11 Pub. Date: 1993-06-04
Image Number: 2120
Caption: "The Red Carpet Treatment". A Warning to the Worshipped. A woman is surprised as she sees a man rolling out a red carpet in front of her. As the woman considers this, the man bows down in a worshipful stance. The woman imagines herself wearing a crown and she extends her foot to the carpet. The man then raises up with an evil grin on his face and yanks the carpet out from underneath her, sending her off-balance and into the air.
     
3. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 2008-01-09 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2009-11-30 Pub. Date: 2008-01-09
Image Number: 5610
Caption: Boycott Christmas! The Christmas Resistance Movement. The greedy capitalist oppressors are using guilt to manipulate consumers into purchasing mass-produced "gifts" for their friends and loved ones! They want you to believe love itself is a commodity which can be exchanged for commercial products! While there are an infinite number of other ways to express love, and 364 other days to give gifts, they insist you must buy things for Christmas--whole industries depend on it! This year, don't play along! Don't buy Christmas presents! Don't buy Christmas cards! Don't buy Christmas decorations! Don't feel guilty! Boycott Christmas. Sabotage commerce.
     
4. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1992-09-29 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2009-09-10 Pub. Date: 1992-09-29
Image Number: 2106
Caption: Free Hospital Souvenirs. Free! With any $2,000 Surgery Purchase. Some Restrictions May Apply. Stylin' plastic bracelet. Maybe I can use this to get into one of those 3-day music festivals! Interesting new body markings! Blood test hole. Wow! "Modern Primitive!" I.V. Hole. E.K.G. Marks. Censor Kleen. Calibrated barf tray! Plastic bag! Hospicare. Name. Room. Footie-socks with rubber treads! What I always wanted! Bills for the rest of your life! Golden Ripoff Insurance.
     
5. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1994-05-20 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2009-07-23 Pub. Date: 1994-05-20
Image Number: 1936
Caption: (No caption). Border of frames within image morph into an increasing number of claws that proceed to consume Nina. (May be paired with image from May 13, 1994).
     
6. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1994-03-04 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2009-06-25 Pub. Date: 1994-03-04
Image Number: 1917
Caption: I really admire you women! You have the power to bring new life into the world! There's a mother goddess in each one of you! Actually, I'm trying to get my tubes tied. But you still have that nurturing goddess energy! In only we men had your ability to nurture children! Actually, I hate children. And you women are so communicative! We man always try to compete when we talk but you women really listen! You know how to empathize! We men could learn. Would you shut up?! And you women are so peaceful! We men start wars, but you women have so much to teach us about non-violence. BLAM! Are you sure you're a woman? Yup.
     
7. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1993-12-17 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2008-07-10 Pub. Date: 1993-12-17
Image Number: 1714
Caption: Mr. Jones Makes the World a Better Place. Satancorp. Welcome aboard, Mr. Jones. As an employee of Satancorp, you'll be working to exploit poor people in third world countries, dump toxic waster into the air, earth and water, create wars, encourage political corruption and wipe out what's let of the rainforests. We'll pay you $50,000 a year - a remarkably high salary in today's depressed job market, but we'll be profiting many times that for the work you do! You'll be expected to work 9-to-5 like everyone else, and attend after-hours social functions with your co-workers, thus not only will you be a cog in a large soulless machine, but also by example you'll be reinforcing the mindless, dependent lifestyle that keeps companies like Satancorp running smoothly! Here's your first paycheck! Gosh, now that I work Satancorp, I can finally afford to donate to charities and buy that recycling bin, thereby making the world a better place!
     
8. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1993-12-20 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2008-06-16 Pub. Date: 1993-12-20
Image Number: 1429
Caption: Guess what! I saw (insert celebrity name here), the famous movie star, going into a restaurant downtown! Ohmigod! Isn't she splitting up with (insert celebrity name here), the famous pop star?! She's a bitch!! Did you see her last video? A bomb!! Well, I hear she's been seeing (insert celebrity name here), the famous T.V. star!! Like ohmigod!! Does that mean he's gonna divorce (insert celebrity name here), the famous spokesmodel?! Would you two shutup about celebrities?! Celebrities aren't real! They're consumer products! Their "lives" are packaged for mass-consumption to get you glued to the "popular media" and exposed to ever more advertising! And you're emotionally involved with them than with your own real lives and relationships! Sheesh! Ohmigod! Wasn't that Nina (tm) the famous cartoon character?! I hear she's dating Elvis the famous postage stamp!
     
9. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1994-08-20 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2008-05-20 Pub. Date: 1994-08-20
Image Number: 1384
Caption: What we say dictates what we think. Don't be ridiculous. Thus, our words can also dictate our actions. Bullshit. It's scary - Language control becomes mind control. Oh my goodness. Our language, any common language, permits its speakers to put words into the minds of others! Scheisse! But if everyone and spoke their own language, we'd have independent thought! We'd spontaneously create a new society! Yes! Yes! That's a great idea. But how?!
     
10. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1988-09-25 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2008-04-28 Pub. Date: 1988-09-25
Image Number: 1308
Caption: "The R-Word". "Relationships". What a tired, old worn out topic. Nina would forget about them altogether if it weren't for people smooching everywhere she looks. Slurp. Drool. Slobber. Disgusting…I wish I were doing that…. Even not, Nina's brain leaps about wondering how she's going to get the relationship of her dreams. Cut that out! Wonder ponder ponder. Experience would suggest there in nothing you can do to "make" a relationship happen. At least not the kind of relationship you want. Yet Nina always wonders, is it really our of her control? Do these things really just happen on "God's terms"?? You bet your ass, honey. Voice o' god. Nina has the nagging fear that we hill eventually get into a romantic relationship, but with someone she doesn't like. Sigh. All those cute guys around. Too bad I'm stuck with Mondo here. Oh well, "beggars can't be choosers". So why does Nina yearn for a relationship when she knows what a pain there are? Pine yearn crave year. Cuz you're a dumbshit. Voice o' Negativity. Maybe it's due to those pesky hormones exercising their power... Go on! Hup! Get yerself a man! Hormones. Hey! ....Or perhaps, it's due to the deep yearnings of Nina's "child's within" for paternal love. Waaa! I want Daddy!!!! Shut up! Would you shut up!? Nina hasn't quite come to terms with all these forces at work within her, and so she feels a little strained. Strain strain uuurrghh.....But she knows there's no point in trying to tell her heart what to do. Look I'm drivin' this train, so quit hassling me! Nina thinks there's got to be an answer to all these relationship dilemmas. What's the @*?#!! answer?! Oh God No, not that !! The end?
     
11. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1992-00-00 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2003-03-05 Pub. Date: 1992-00-00
Image Number: 3036
Caption: How the Aids Virus Works. Every day, your brain is exposed to bazillions of virulent ideas. Sex is bad. God will punish you! Sin. Nice girls don't. A virulent idea enters the brain. Immediately the brain's defense mechanisms (called common sense) go into play. Sex is bad. Warning! Danger! Red alert! The virulent idea is attacked by common sense, thus destroyed before it can infect the entire system. Destroy!! Kill. Smite. Eradicate. The afrAIDS virus, however, "fools" your brain's defense mechanisms. What's that? Looks like caution. Seems reasonable enough. Allowed to thrive and grow, afrAIDS soon takes over your whole brain. Common sense, now greatly reduced, can no longer fight off other virulent ideas. Sex is bad. Homosexuality is wrong. Conform. God will punish you! Eventually you become a paranoid idiot. Deviance is immoral. You're going to hell. Conform. Sex is bad. Bodies are evil. Sin. God will punish you!
     
12. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1995-04-14 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2003-03-05 Pub. Date: 1995-04-14
Image Number: 3043
Caption: Nina's Adventures: The Environmentally Friendly Comic Strip. Earth Day Special! Our commitment to the earth: Nina's Adventures did not build a nuclear power plant this year--we care!!! 10% of our profits go to a special fund to make us consider not dumping toxic waste into the local water supply. "What you don't do is as good as what you do."--old advertising proverb. Planet Earth: It's Swell! The Nina's Adventures Tree Conservation Program: This cartoon could have bene printed larger, but thanks to chintzy editors and art directors, we save trees! This cartoon could be nationally syndicated, but instead it runs only in a few small, obscure papers--we save trees! We only run gratutitous self-congratulatory eco-groovy pieces once a year, instead of every week--we save trees!! Endangered species: they're cute! Our commitment to sustainable humor: Reduce: Less humor per carton. Reuse: Same jokes used over & over again. Recycle: Recycled gags.
     
13. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1990-01-01 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2003-02-14 Pub. Date: 1990-01-01
Image Number: 2799
Caption: Hi Shirelle! Long time no see! Nina! You have to look at my new twins! Babies?! You're not gonna make me hold one, are you? Aw, c'mon! They're so cute! You'll love them! Uh-oh! They're not being cute enough, huh. You have to see them be really cute. C'mon guys, but cute for Nina! Be cute! Be cute, godammit! Oh look! It's working! They're emitting cuteness particles into the atmosphere! Making me succumb to feelings of motherhood. Can I use your bathroom? Sure. Are you going to throw up?
     
14. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1989-06-00 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2003-01-22 Pub. Date: 1989-06-00
Image Number: 2523
Caption: *Special Guest Character!* And Now For An Inspirational Message From Starflower and Her Crystal Friend, "Bob"! Hi! Sometimes I just feel so good! And you know, it's that good feeling that comes from within! Of course, having a crystal friend helps a lot! Hi everybody! Sure, we could focus on the negative all day ... But that's be such a bring-down! Instead we tune into the positive! Everything's beautiful! So remember: Think positive! Bye!
     
15. Cartoonist Nina Paley  Nina's Adventures 1990-07-01 into 
Cartoonist(s): Nina Paley
Comic/Cartoon: Nina's Adventures
Viewable Date: 2003-01-06 Pub. Date: 1990-07-01
Image Number: 2359
Caption: "How My Ears Lost Their Virginity". Like my new earring, Nina? Ohh neat! I think I'll go get my ears pierced! Really? You're getting your ears pierced?! Can I do it? Can I pierce 'em? I just love the feel of jabbing metal into human flesh! The next day at professional jeweler's .... I'm so excited! This won't hurt a bit. SCRANCH! That'll be $14.95 plus an extra buck for the disinfectant you'll have to apply twice a day for the next two months. Disinfectant? Later ... Like my new earrings, guys? Just what you need, 2 new holes in your head. Hey, did I ever tell you about that time something snagged my earring and pulled it through my ear backwards? It was stuck in my ear for weeks! Boy was it gross... Epilogue: When I finally removed those first earrings, I dropped a backing down the drain. @*%!!. Since then I've let the holes close up.
     
Result page:     (15 images)