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Candorville

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Result page:     (19 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-25 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-25 Pub. Date: 2016-11-25
Image Number: 151298
Caption: Tyrone? I miss the days when my mother held me to her breast and sang nursery rhymes to me. That's because you're gullible, Rosencrantz. Nursery rhymes are how they program us to accept the notion that there is no truth, that facts are fungible and open to interpretation. Take "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," for instance. We know exactly what stars are. We don't have to "wonder." Twinkle twinkle little star ... we know exactly what you are ... giant spheres of glowing gas ... powered by nuclear fusion ... Spare change?
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-27 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-27 Pub. Date: 2016-07-27
Image Number: 146472
Caption: Lionel was reading "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." You know everyone on earth takes that line out of context? Frost is actually expressing regret there. He's torn about it. Just like everyone else, Lionel wrongly though Frost was expressing pride. Nobody ever pays attention to the context of anything anymore. Wait ... your two-year-old is reading Robert Frost?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-16 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-16 Pub. Date: 2011-09-16
Image Number: 65648
Caption: there's nothing racial about all the disrespect Obama gets. Look, it's right there on page 28,987, paragraph 5. "The officer is pulling you over even though you haven't commeitted any intereactions, but only to make sure you're having a nice day." Oh, wait, I think I meant page 29,987. "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior or Others" needs an index.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-04 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-04 Pub. Date: 2011-09-04
Image Number: 64822
Caption: Couples Sessions Today. Dr. Noodle. I"ve been thinking about how you said men are nonverbal communicators. So, lately I've paying to Ebenezer's body language. Go on. His silence, his distance, his late nights at the office, all forced me to realize I cannot fulfill his needs. In opening the door to leave, he let in the light that illuminated all the roaches in our relationahip. Last week, I paused at the door before leaving with the kids, the dog and my luggage. His refusal to even look away from his baseball game so say goodbye told me he was hurting, and couldn't bear to watch. Ebenezer's courage in reaching out to me in nonverbally has made me fall in love with him all over again. Pate, please get me tix for tonight's game. Yes, Ben ... we can get back together. Wait ... we broke up?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-30 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-30 Pub. Date: 2011-05-30
Image Number: 61584
Caption: The judge denied our request for a DNA test, so there's no way to prove Lionel is your son. What? Why?! Roxanne claimed it violated her religion. She says she's a Teteoinnan … … and that their ancient Aztec scriptures dictate only the MOTHER GODDESS can examine our DNA under electron microscopes. People are always reading scripture however the #$%* they want to.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-10 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-10 Pub. Date: 2010-06-10
Image Number: 48211
Caption: This is not at all what I mean by "house-sit for me."
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-01 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-01 Pub. Date: 2009-12-01
Image Number: 41430
Caption: "I don't know how you tracked me down, Senor Lemont, but it's true: I am 'El Chacal,' leader of the most barbaric Mexican drug cartel. There is no mystery, here, little journalist. All the carnage and disappearances in La Ciudad Juarez are part of our drug war. I would like to thank our sponsors: the greed of local officials whose pockets we line, and the misguided American 'War on Drugs' that makes our product so incredibly valuable." He really said all that? Either that or "Prepare to die, dog-man." Worst translator, ever.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-16 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-16 Pub. Date: 2009-07-16
Image Number: 36192
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.com/Candorville. I, Lemont Brown, confess I am not a reporter. I am an American spy and I caused the fake Iranian "Green Revolution." After I watched the Reman Captain Nero go back thru time 2 change Federation history in "Star Trek," CIA sent me here 2 change Iran. See? Lemont's giving us a signal so we know they're forcing him to say this! Everyone knows Nero was a Romulan, not a Reman! And he didn't change history, he created an alternate reality, leaving the original timeline intact! Dios mio I hang around Lemont way too much. Tell General Kirk I'm sorry he failed the Kobayashi Maru test.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-04 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-04 Pub. Date: 2009-07-04
Image Number: 35737
Caption: Were you afraid the Iranian revolutionary guard would punish your family for your participation in the protests? ?Teme por la seguridad de su familia? Are you aware your translator is speaking in Spanish? Well, Farsi translators are rare, so we couldn't afford them. This makes no sense to me. I work for a newspaper, and -- ?Tiene dinero para pagar mi tarifa aerea? Say no more.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-15 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-15 Pub. Date: 2009-06-15
Image Number: 35244
Caption: (Sigh)* *Do you ever feel lost, Clyde? (Yawn)** **Am I feelin' lost? (Ahem-ahem)* *@$% yeah, I'm feelin' lost. (Ahem)* *It's a great show. (Tsk)* *What? (Tsk)** **What?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-02 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-02 Pub. Date: 2009-05-02
Image Number: 32001
Caption: I knew it. A Black man gets elected president an' all of a sudden a southern state talks about seceding from the union. Oh, please. It's a well-known fact that this has nothing at all to do with race. A fact? Page 189,543: "Sudden talk of secession right after the first Black president takes office is purely coincidental, and based wholly on differing views about unemployment compensation." You really need to get your own copy of "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others."
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-29 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-29 Pub. Date: 2009-03-29
Image Number: 31247
Caption: I'll start with the original "Star Wars." Then "Empire." That way you preserve the big surprise about Luke's dad. Then "Episodes 1&2." "The Clone Wars" cartoons, and then "Episode 3." They'll be like a flashback someone tells Luke while he's healing from the whole hand thing. They'll give time to build anxiety over Han's fate, and they'll set up Vader's redemptive journey. Which I'll then finish by watching... ...That's right, baby, "Return of the Jedi." Dios mio. Not at all what I meant when I said "You should write a five-year plan." Pshht. Five years? I could do it in five days. There are ways. You don't even wanna know.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-11-24 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-11-24 Pub. Date: 2007-11-24
Image Number: 19613
Caption: Have a nice day. You Lib'rals are always trying to tell me what to do. Everything's way too political. A man should be free to be miserable if that makes him happy.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-11 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-11 Pub. Date: 2007-10-11
Image Number: 18869
Caption: I'm tired of people saying Fox News's Bill O'Reilly is a racist… …Just because he couldn't get "over" seeing civilized Black folks in a restaurant. His being shocked to learn we don't eat with our knuckles is the highest of compliments. Where'd you get that idea? "Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others," page 21,985.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-17 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-25 Pub. Date: 2007-06-17
Image Number: 17734
Caption: What do you see, Lemont? A turtle. I see a banana.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-12-03 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-12-08 Pub. Date: 2006-12-03
Image Number: 15502
Caption: Case #17700503-D: Susana "Susan" Garcia. Compiled by Federal Agent Eugene O. Murphy. 9:07 - Called "Mami," asked about "Papi." Code for Canadian aspirin-smuggling ring?
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-15 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-10-17 Pub. Date: 2006-10-15
Image Number: 14976
Caption: Laundering money? Case #17700503-C: Lemont Brown. Compiled by Federal Agent Eugene O. Murphy. ----- burritos-------- carne asado burritos ------ caliente.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-02-05 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-02-06 Pub. Date: 2006-02-05
Image Number: 12926
Caption: Your eye twitched, Susan. What’s that mean? Nothing. You cleared your throat. What's that mean? Nothing. You cracked your knuckles. What's that mean. This is the last time I read on or your stories in front of you, Lemont. What's that mean?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-09 interpretation 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-01-09 Pub. Date: 2006-01-09
Image Number: 12683
Caption: Homosexual tendencies. Lemont Brown, I want you baaaaad. Sorry, Beyonce, I'm not interested. Possible un-American activity. Angela Bassett stole my hear. We're flying to Mokpo in an hour for a steamy love affair and Korean barbecue port. Who are you and what the @*$ are you doing in my dream? Subject appears agitated.
     
Result page:     (19 images)