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Rudy Park

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101. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-16 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-16 Pub. Date: 2016-09-16
Image Number: 148489
Caption: I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.
     
102. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-16 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-16 Pub. Date: 2016-08-16
Image Number: 147398
Caption: I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don't have even a hint of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."
     
103. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-21 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-21 Pub. Date: 2016-07-21
Image Number: 146154
Caption: What are you doing, little buddy? Practicing my hate-face. It's a mixture of disgust, snarkiness, and confusion. When I wear it, it protects me from liking something that the internet has chosen to hate. DC's got a new movie coming out: Suicide Squad. I don't want to be caught unprepared, like I was with Batman V Superman. You loved that film. Yes, but I repented.
     
104. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-20 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-20 Pub. Date: 2016-07-20
Image Number: 146153
Caption: I saw your "free wi-fi" sign. Yes, it's free for customers. False advertising! If I have to buy something, it's not free! Ok. The password is "buysomethingorgetout." Is that upper-case or lower?
     
105. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-14 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-14 Pub. Date: 2016-07-14
Image Number: 145831
Caption: Attention all parents of small toddlers … There's a brand new Youtube channel you'll definitely want to show your kids. It features funny reviews of toys, video games and apps. It stars a handsome, charming man dressed in huge glasses, a big floppy hat, and a bright yellow tuxedo. No self-promotion in my cafe unless I get a 98% cut. I am totally not unaffiliated with this brilliant performer.
     
106. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-11 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-11 Pub. Date: 2016-06-11
Image Number: 144242
Caption: I'll admit, yesterday I was off my game. I made a rookie mistake and you bested me, nemesis. But I'll take comfort in the fact that the internet has ruined your ability to convert short-term memories into long-term ones. Today's Special Latte + 1hr web $12.50. You won't recall minute details of your day ... All you'll remember are the parts that stick out most, such as me yelling ... you're such a loser! Joke's on you, I won't even remember that.
     
107. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-01 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-01 Pub. Date: 2016-06-01
Image Number: 143938
Caption: Donald Trump's dredging up 1990s conspiracy theories about Bill Clinton. Hillary Clinton's saying if we elect her, she might get the government to tell us the truth about aliens. It's a tough decision. I'd like to know once and for all whether Vince Foster knew too much ... but on the other hand, it might be useful to know for sure whether the lizard people from Alpha Draconis really are running Congress. Your internet privileges are hereby revoked.
     
108. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-30 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-30 Pub. Date: 2016-05-30
Image Number: 143936
Caption: How's it going in there, little buddy? There's a line of unhappy-looking people behind me. Just give me 20 more minutes, Randy. They've taken up a petition. 36 people are demanding you find someplace else to check your Facebook. Can't anyone be left along anywhere anymore?! I had no idea so many people own pitchforks. Go away!
     
109. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-09 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-09 Pub. Date: 2016-05-09
Image Number: 143039
Caption: I bet you've filled your head with so many tweets and Instagrams that you've crowded out all your actual memories of your own life. Nonsense. I remember way back, all the way to … well let's see … oh, I've got it … My earliest memory was opening an America Online cd, putting it in our old PC, and seeing that symbol. You do realize that was the 1990s don't you? You must have already been in your teens. You are a very sick generation! I get misty-eyed when I think back to "you've got mail!"
     
110. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-04 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-04 Pub. Date: 2016-05-04
Image Number: 142738
Caption: Don't you hate it when you meet a woman, there's chemistry, things are going great … and then just a few wrong words wreck it all? I met this amazing woman. It was love at first sight … That's when she asked me if there was any place nearby where we could grab a drink. Wait ... you're saying SHE ruined it? I just can't be with someone who's not smart enough to Google things for herself.
     
111. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-01 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-01 Pub. Date: 2016-05-01
Image Number: 141911
Caption: Can I use your wi-fi? Of course. Did you buy something? In a manner of speaking. I bought a Snickers bar last month at the 7-11 over in Candorville. So I'm basically a paying customer. I'm not following. My money went to pay the clerk's salary. A few days later, that clerk bought a magazine at a newsstand. The proprietor of the newsstand later used that money when he went to a massage parlor. He tipped the masseuse $65. The masseuse later took a bus to our town, where she bought a latter in this very establishment. I'm a customer thrice-removed. Ok. The password is "password."
     
112. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-27 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-27 Pub. Date: 2016-03-27
Image Number: 140308
Caption: To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks … or to take arms against the sea of haters, and by Googling links that prove them wrong, end them. To stop updating, to pause - to pause - perchance to browse the tweets of others ... Ay, there's the rub, for in that browsing state what dreams may come when we have re'lized others are wittier than we. But that the dread of something after tweeting, the undiscovered country, from whose bourn no burned-out Twitter-pundit returns, puzzles the will, and does make anonymous haters of us all. Thus 'tis better to never stop tweeting, and never to read the tweets of others.
     
113. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-23 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-23 Pub. Date: 2016-03-23
Image Number: 140828
Caption: What were you doing during the Iraq war, Randy? What are you talking about? We knew each other back then. That was like 10 or 13 years ago. You can't expect me to remember every little detail about something that happened so long ago. I regularly delete old memory files to make room for all the new data constantly coming my way via Facebook, tweets, Instagram, etc. I wish I didn't have to do that. I wish I could just expand my storage by sticking a flash drive in my nose. Why don't you try? Maybe it'll work.
     
114. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-15 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-15 Pub. Date: 2016-03-15
Image Number: 140522
Caption: I just edited your Wikipedia entry. I still have no idea what that means. Tap tap tap tap tap. It means you're now the longtime mistress of Donald Trump. At least, you were … until he discovered your pattern of credit card fraud, your obsession with taxidermies squirrels, and your cloven hooves. In my day, when a man spoke gibberish while staring at a little box, he was institutionalized. Tweeting a link aaand ... it's already gone viral.
     
115. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-03 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-03 Pub. Date: 2016-03-03
Image Number: 139845
Caption: Guess what else I found on Youtube, Randy? Evidence Vladimir Putin is an immortal. There are two photos of soldiers who look exactly like Putin, taken in 1941 and way back in 1920. Exactly like him. Could be they're related. The notion of "genetics" is a huge conspiracy by the immortals. I found that out on Youtube.
     
116. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-02 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-02 Pub. Date: 2016-03-02
Image Number: 139844
Caption: When you think about it, you have to be a complete idiot NOT to believe aliens crashed at Roswell in 1947. It's clear we reverse-engineered their tech. Before 1947: Primitive cars, planes and radio. After 1947: Spaceships, quantum computing, internet. Let me try ... Before 1947: No bikinis. After 1947: Bikinis. No, wait ... the bikini was 1946. That throws this whole theory into question. We really should have our own science show.
     
117. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-06 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-06 Pub. Date: 2016-02-06
Image Number: 138615
Caption: Do you believe the world is all an illusion? I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon. Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet "It's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies." If the entire hive mind of earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true. I hope not. I'd hate for you to end up being the most important person in history.
     
118. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-05 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-05 Pub. Date: 2016-02-05
Image Number: 138614
Caption: No offense, but I'm eternally grateful to know that you stand no chance of ever passing on your genes. That's where you're wrong. I pass on my jeans at least once a year. What do you think Craigslist was invented for? Craigslist? Yeah. Whenever I get bored, I go on there and pass on my jeans. Sometimes I don't even charge anything. Tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying. I'm saying that site is full of people who'd like to get into my pants.
     
119. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-31 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-31 Pub. Date: 2016-01-31
Image Number: 137772
Caption: I wonder what life was like before the internet. What are you talking about? You don't have to wonder what life was like before the internet. You were here! We have no proof of that. I've googled myself. There's no reference to me existing prior to 1994. No blog posts, no photos, not tweets. I mean sure, you can find my birth certificate, but that means nothing. There is nothing online that was written by me, personally, prior to 1994. Stop that!!! I found a box of old polaroids, they're supposedly pictures of me as a child. But there's no proof of that. There are no photos of me that have verifiable metadata or time stamps prior to 1994. Don't look at me like that. There isn't a single link proving you existed prior to 1997 ... so respect your elders. STOP THAT!!!
     
120. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-18 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-18 Pub. Date: 2016-01-18
Image Number: 137962
Caption: I've decided to change the way I Twitter-slam "Star Wars: The Force Awakens." Pointing out plot holes that aren't really plot holes is the latest trend online. I've been tweeting "It's the same story as the original" even though it's not. That was fun. But that critique is so last month. I still don't think "If Rey's the protagonist, why did Monopoly leave her out of the board game" is a "plot hole." And since when has Luke been old?
     
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