Hello, this is cable news. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. Our records show you didn't click on a single clip of the missiles our navy shot at Syria. I didn't what on the what now? We bought your complete web browsing history from your internet service provider. How could you resist watching all those beautiful instruments of death and destruction soar into the night sky. House of Java Cybercafe. Get out of my computer machine! What's with all your visits to old-biddies-doing-yoga-dot-com? ... Freak.
(Ahem) Dear patrons, an announcement: My symphony debuts online next week … and to reward you all for being loyal customers, I'm going to sing you a sample from the first single. There are no vocals yet, so I'll be singing you the oboe, woodwind and bagpipe instrumentals. Get back to work. Bee beebebeebee boo ... Boooo booboobooboo beee.